RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch

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RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 12/30/2011 3:16:58 PM

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Ah ok it was support you needed and there was me thinking you had written something to a discussion forum.
I'm baffled as to why you didn't write this as a journal entry or was it a need to get that message of yours out to a bigger audience?
Perhaps you could write a book Valerie

Why are you unable to answer peoples questions?
I would like to ask you why you believe some switches spoil it for others? how do they spoil it?
The only answer that comes to mind is the prejudice shown towards switches by certain bigots that use these boards. Do you believe they would change their tune if they knew switches like you? Do you think they would take the time to learn and understand about people like you? These kind of people tend to be hugely arrogant, totally misguided and a waste of space.... A bit like you

(in reply to MissValerie77)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/3/2012 9:33:58 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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Oh great. Another "one true way" thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissValerie77
the true definition of

This, right here,^^^^^ is what most people will have a problem with. When someone charges in here and expounds on the one true definition of anything, anything at all, most will laugh at them and dismiss it as bullshit. There is no more one true way to be a switch than there is one true way to be a Dom/me or a sub/slave.

The beautiful thing about kink is we have so many choices. Your way is not everyone's way and their way is not yours either, but either way can work, depending on what the participants in the dynamic/relationship want and choose. So, good for you that you've found YOUR way, but don't expect everyone to agree with it. Just because people don't do it your way does not mean they are fakes. We've all had enough of this "one twue wayism" B.S.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 1/3/2012 9:37:40 PM >

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to MissValerie77)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/4/2012 9:39:27 AM

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Everyone is born an individual and walks their own individual path through life.

Everyone has the capacity to be a switch, but many people prefer one side of the dynamic.

Ergo every switch is an individual. There's no such thing as a bad or fake switch. Just an incompatible one.

It's also worth bearing in mind that when posting to a message board you are posting publicly to an audience. Not caring what the audience thinks or feels is rather disrespectful.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to MariaB)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/7/2012 2:42:29 PM

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quote:

I never mix dominant and submissive roles into the same session. That would create confusion for the other person/people involved. You need a solid state and to follow through with that to the fullest. I take whatever role I am in seriously and do not deviate from it at all. The next session, I will change roles if I want or if it is needed. When I change roles, I do everything that goes with that role. I act, react, behave, and think accordingly. I take the submissive role just as seriously. ORIGINAL: MissValerie77

^This is about the only thing I disagree with in that post.
I do switch mid session, but thats a part of a sort-of-power-play imo, the game of wills is very fun.

(in reply to MissValerie77)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/8/2012 3:04:48 AM

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From: West Memphis,Ark
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As a Switch I dont even agree. There were a few good things but thats about it. This lil creed of yours is just that yours. People dont need to be lead on in such a manner you shoud have stated its your opinion & how you are not all Switches. And switching during a scence is retarded in my opinion pick one & stick to it. I have had a sub alnost 3 years I would never Switch with her she knows her place. With a Dom I stick to a sub role. I dont flip flop back & forth. No matter my side I will always be a strong woman.

(in reply to MissValerie77)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/9/2012 10:10:35 AM

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I'm just gonna say my two cents:
Everyone has different opinions on what switches mean to them. That's never gonna change. Because everyone has over 4000 ways to say what blue looks like.

My way of seeing blue, or a switch, is mostly in a scene sense. At least, that is how it is for me. I can be both a Top and a bottom. However, I do have trouble Topping men, and I have trouble bottoming for women. So I'm kind of, picky in a way. I can get my ass beat by a man, and beat a woman's ass. It's just how I am.

For me, in a lifestyle sense, I am NOT a switch. I do not wish to own someone. I wish to be owned.
And that's my definition of a switch, to me.

Now if others come up to me and say they're a switch, I always ask, "lifestyle or scene?", and act according to their answer :3

(in reply to MissValerie77)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/9/2012 11:09:34 AM

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quote:

If I am in a dominant mood, I will pick that role and play it out fully for that session

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissValerie77

RexCorvus-

It doesn't really bother me in any sense what people think one way or the other to my post. People will take things they way they want to and that's their right. It says way more about the people who are writing....than me....the person they are talking to. Turn up the "Heat". I love it hottt!!!

Everybody is free to enjoy their tastes within the kinky, sexual fetishes. Everybody is allowed their perspective looking at submission and domination. However you do reveal what this is really all about and of course in such a way that tends to prove my point which I will come to.

You say it right here "If I am in a dominant mood, I will pick that role and play it out fully for that session" So what you define is a switch ONLY during play or only a session or scene and according to what could be that night for that play or session...your particular mood. For those playing...maybe, but for those in a relationship, part if the beauty as I have also written, is that power (domination or submission) becomes unambiguous...without vacillation, not subject ever...to mood swings.

We are not therefore from this point on talking about a lifestyle or a way of coupling or living or...what is a twooo switch, but only your particular mood or pleasure you seek in play. Switching is for play, domination or submission in a relationship is something else...a way of living.

They do not live within mood changes, they are 'fixed' as you call it...permanently. Logic compels this stipulation because my personal belief shared by many, is that...submission is inspired and without it, there is no domination or any switching go'n on...unless it is simply pure pleasure play.

So MissValerie, you go with your badself girl and do what makes you happy, and your perspective on play as a switch is an interesting one and I am sure...a real pleasure.

(in reply to MissValerie77)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/9/2012 11:14:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk

Everyone is born an individual and walks their own individual path through life.

Everyone has the capacity to be a switch, but many people prefer one side of the dynamic.

Ergo every switch is an individual. There's no such thing as a bad or fake switch. Just an incompatible one.

It's also worth bearing in mind that when posting to a message board you are posting publicly to an audience. Not caring what the audience thinks or feels is rather disrespectful.

You too are actually correct. Switches and most everybody else for that matter, can be like dogs, there are no bad dogs...just bad owners, or users...or plunderers, or SOB's, or...OK,OK.

(in reply to stellauk)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/9/2012 11:25:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Oh great. Another "one true way" thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissValerie77
the true definition of

This, right here,^^^^^ is what most people will have a problem with. When someone charges in here and expounds on the one true definition of anything, anything at all,
NBMG

You are so right kiddo. I mean there are electrical switches, hydraulic switches, the there are those thermal switches and let me tell you, when they are on...they are hot baby. But hell there are on/off switches, and babydolls, when they are on...they are really on but yep when they are off, wow they are just as cold as can be.

Then there is of course the normally open switches and the normally closed although that can't be much of a pleasure.

I think we covered classroom on switches today class...now we go to our lab portion of our instruction. So you are all dismissed to my parlor for further expansion on the tactile differences in switches.

Ya'know, just how different...they feel on your skin.....ready ?

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/10/2012 2:44:28 AM

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From: West Memphis,Ark
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScatteredRose

I do have trouble Topping men, and I have trouble bottoming for women. So I'm kind of, picky in a way. I can get my ass beat by a man, and beat a woman's ass. It's just how I am.

For me, in a lifestyle sense, I am NOT a switch. I do not wish to own someone. I wish to be owned.
And that's my definition of a switch, to me.

Thats the way I am as well. It feels right to me to be owned by a man & Topping a female.

_____________________________

Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain.

(in reply to ScatteredRose)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/29/2012 10:25:46 AM

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ScatteredRose and DivineDemise,

You raise a good point which I hadn't thought of before but, now that you mention it, I chose to put dominant for my profile for somewhat the same reason. I am dominant at the relationship level but can switch in a scene. There is also the factor that CM has the light blue/dark blue, pink/red color scheme and a switch is automatically color coded as submissive which isn't right for me.

(in reply to DivineDemise)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/29/2012 11:03:28 AM

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After reading a lot of the posts in this thread, I see several which point out how people define terms differently for themselves. This is absolutely true, in my experience. The problem is that the whole point of terminology is to allow easier communication by providing a simple term to use instead of having to spell out what you mean every time. I think that the scene lacks the words to express a lot of things. Ambiguity in existing terms makes the situation even worse.

A related issue is that a lot of people in the organized scene will judge what you are by seeing you in one or two scenes. I am frequently asked to be the subject for demonstrations because I am physically attractive and a good sport about that kind of thing. These are demonstrations like how to do a certain kind of bondage or the right way to hook up a TENS unit to a guy's dick... that sort of thing. Because of this, I got a reputation as a submissive in the local scene when, in fact, I am mostly dominant. I eventually started refusing to be a demo subject because I wanted to establish my correct identity.

(in reply to DoctorOuch)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 1/30/2012 12:04:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorOuch
here is also the factor that CM has the light blue/dark blue, pink/red color scheme and a switch is automatically color coded as submissive which isn't right for me.

That bothers me a bit as well.

I have been switching for at least 30 years and I would not dream to push or expect my ways to suit anyone else. OP is narrow minded and arrogant.

(in reply to DoctorOuch)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 2/10/2012 3:02:00 PM

Violetdragonlady

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As far as I'm concerned there is no 'right' way to switch, dominate or submit. Only a way that is right for that particular person and as everyone is different there could be thousands of different ways to switch.

I switch MY way and it suits me fine and I'm perfectly happy with it. If someone else doesn't like the way I personally define MY way of switching it's their problem not mine. It's my life and I'll live it how I please, I try not to judge others for their beliefs, lifestyles and would hope they don't judge me for mine.

(in reply to Casssy)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 3/5/2012 10:28:47 AM

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hello scattered,

i don't even know where this circus is going right now but wanted to tell you i completely relate to "your" way of kinking.

even though it's not "the" way. ;)

(in reply to MrRodgers)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 3/5/2012 10:57:51 AM

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(sorry mr. rodgers, that was supposed to have been a reply to scatteredrose).

but as soon as i hit post i recalled that i'd let princess donna top me any day.

i constantly confuseneven myself! thank god it's a woman's perogative to change her mind. speaking of which, does anyone have an opinion (did i seriously just ask that!?) about whether there are more female than male switches?

oh, and as for themhard and fast D/s is a way of life, reming me to tell you a few tales of hardened Ds who changed their tune when with me.

everything is nebulous and i love that.

back to subspace for laika now...

(in reply to laika2000)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 3/15/2012 4:27:41 PM

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I call myself a switch because I don't like to obey typical BDSM rules.

I am more into fetish-play than straightforward BDSM. Perhaps I am on the wrong site, but came here because it is free and alt.com isn't.

(in reply to MissValerie77)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 3/22/2012 7:13:00 PM

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Conventional wisdom is that more men are switches. If i remember right there was a major survey, specifically about spanking fetish, which found a majority of men were switches and a majority of women preferred to be submissive (or at least spankee if not actually submissive.) I think it really depends on how you ask the question. Some people take switch to mean anyone who will ever switch at all. Other people figure that you are whatever you have even a slight preference for (e.g. 51% dominant is dominant and 51% submissive is submissive.) Yet other people apply a stricter standard for dominant. You're only dominant if your 100% dominant but you can be submissive with a 51% tendency to be submissive.

(in reply to laika2000)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 3/22/2012 7:18:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp
I call myself a switch because I don't like to obey typical BDSM rules.

To put it cynically, I think most BDSM rules are made up as you go along and different groups have different customs.

(in reply to menowimp)

RE: Definition of "Switch" from a Switch - 3/24/2012 3:50:11 PM

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To the OP, I believe what you wrote was well written and very well said. It is about time someone wrote something like this here. I took your posting without judgement or emotion and saw some real good sense in it. Great job.

(in reply to DoctorOuch)

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