RE: Hunting

Hey Duncan, welcome. Yeah, many of us have had difficult marriages. These forums are mostly a gathering place for people to interact, discuss, talk, so don't feel as though it's all sexual. Sure, we talk about that, but many of us here have monogamous partners, or no partner, or any kind of situation you can imagine.

It does sound as though you've got a hard road ahead with whatever you decide, I'd just like to remind you that you only have one life, it would be a shame to live it with regrets. Best wishes to you...

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RE: Hunting - 12/29/2011 4:21:42 PM

tj444

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I have been there also, married the wrong guy, tried to make it work but it didnt..

i contemplated having a guy on the side as i still wasnt ready to give up entirely.. I never cheated tho.. i felt it was wrong and of course difficult to live 2 lives..and i didnt want to resort to that, I know it wouldnt have been satisfactory either.. what gave me the strength to finally end it was waking up one day and realizing that i no longer loved him.. nothing at all.. he just felt like a platonic friend to me..

with love gone.. there was no reason to stay and deny myself the possibility of finding the right guy.. I am still looking as he has to be the right one, very compatible to me, i am not going to settle for less and end up in the same situation i got out of.. But i tell ya, i am much happier being single and in control of my future, with hope of finding who i am looking for, than i was being married, frustrated and miserable! Hope that wasnt TMI..

Anyway.. welcome!..

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RE: Hunting - 12/29/2011 4:31:54 PM

bighappygoth39

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

I have been there also, married the wrong guy, tried to make it work but it didnt..

i contemplated having a guy on the side as i still wasnt ready to give up entirely.. I never cheated tho.. i felt it was wrong and of course difficult to live 2 lives..and i didnt want to resort to that, I know it wouldnt have been satisfactory either.. what gave me the strength to finally end it was waking up one day and realizing that i no longer loved him.. nothing at all.. he just felt like a platonic friend to me..

with love gone.. there was no reason to stay and deny myself the possibility of finding the right guy.. I am still looking as he has to be the right one, very compatible to me, i am not going to settle for less and end up in the same situation i got out of.. But i tell ya, i am much happier being single and in control of my future, with hope of finding who i am looking for, than i was being married, frustrated and miserable! Hope that wasnt TMI..

Anyway.. welcome!..

Firstly, welcome to the OP. I hope you can find some help and support on here.

Secondly. I can fully identify with you tj444. I went through something similar. Married too young, for wrong reasons, etc. I had to end it and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, especially as there were children involved. It was the best thing I could have done, though, and everything worked out much better for us both. That being-in-limbo feeling of knowing you're stuck in a dead marriage is just awful, and you should definitely not even contemplate trying to make yourself feel better by cheating, as it won't make anythng any better, as has been said already. If you really can't leave for whatever reasons, then at least think about a legal separation if she refuses to accept things. I hope it works out, either way.

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RE: Hunting - 12/29/2011 7:13:38 PM

DuncanBlues

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Thanks all.

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RE: Hunting - 12/29/2011 7:43:34 PM

MistressDarkArt

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Welcome, Dunc!

There's a comforting satisfaction knowing you dealt with life's challenges 100% honorably. Think of shortcuts as 'shitcuts' and do it right.

We're here for ya! Hang in there!

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RE: Hunting - 12/29/2011 9:51:47 PM

DuncanBlues

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I would like to note that not only have I tried, without support of my wife, I've also looked first on Craigslist and met someone -- but wasn't able to follow through with meeting her. I felt I would be taking advantage. She was very young and had little self-confidence. (It wasn't a BDSM thing.) So I'm not the worst person in the world -- even though I know I'm far from the best.

I do thank all who have offered notes of encouragement both here and in personal messages. I've always tried to be a good person and intend to try to continue on that path. Bless you all.

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RE: Hunting - 12/29/2011 9:55:16 PM

stellauk

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Welcome Duncan...

I'm going to assume that you know what you are doing, and you are prepared to accept the consequences from the decisions you are making now.

Are you really sure it's a relationship you need right now? What can a relationship give you that a friendship cannot?

In the absence of friendship and being in a relationship which isn't working, what is it that's convincing you so much that another relationship will work out so much that you are taking steps to find one?

Something to think about?

I'm trying to phrase things this way so that you see I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Generally I find that people who have difficulties in their relationships tend to also fail to see or appreciate the potential benefits of developing friendships but who tend to go from one relationship to another.

It's just something I'm throwing out here for you to mull over when you have a spare beer.

However whatever happens, and whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.

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RE: Hunting - 12/30/2011 6:03:50 AM

OohAahMrs

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Welcome and oh...........bye!

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RE: Hunting - 12/30/2011 10:45:03 AM

DuncanBlues

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Searching: You are correct. I started this all myself by marrying someone who isn't of my faith. I thought Christians I was dating were a pain in the neck, but my wife will not even open-mouth kiss me. To be fair to her, she does try to be affectionate, but she has a LOT of issues, and one of them is that she cannot be counselled successfully.

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RE: Hunting - 12/30/2011 11:20:48 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DuncanBlues

Searching: You are correct. I started this all myself by marrying someone who isn't of my faith. I thought Christians I was dating were a pain in the neck, but my wife will not even open-mouth kiss me. To be fair to her, she does try to be affectionate, but she has a LOT of issues, and one of them is that she cannot be counselled successfully.

It sounds as if you do have grounds to have the marriage annulled, depending on the state in which you married. It doesn't sound to me as if she even knew what being married entailed.

I wish you both the best as you sort this out. In the meantime, stick around and make friends with like-minded people, just put your search for a domme on hold for the time being.

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RE: Hunting - 12/30/2011 11:31:49 AM

DuncanBlues

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She actually wasn't a virgin, believe it or not -- I was. So imagine my surprise.

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