How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? - 5/30/2006 10:25:00 AM

ADomDoc

Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how
much they liked the old one better.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him
how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb,
or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday,
October 14. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

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RE: How many Christians does it take to change a light ... - 5/30/2006 11:15:39 AM

Moloch

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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"Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change"

Is this a joke?

(in reply to ADomDoc)

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RE: How many Christians does it take to change a light ... - 5/30/2006 4:34:32 PM

dominmd

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
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I guess so, it is in the humor section. If it is not a joke, then I guess it would be somewhere else. And just like Mel Brooks, the joke makes fun of everyone.

(in reply to Moloch)

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RE: How many Christians does it take to change a light ... - 5/30/2006 4:56:46 PM

pistachio

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/12/2005
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i liked it. Reminds me of my old church. Always had fun with lightbulbs...

(in reply to dominmd)

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RE: How many Christians does it take to change a light ... - 5/31/2006 12:20:26 AM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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Good post.

(in reply to pistachio)

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RE: How many Christians does it take to change a light ... - 5/31/2006 5:45:31 AM

ArtCatDom

Posts: 478
Joined: 1/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

I refuse to comment on the truthfulness of this allegation on the basis that it may incriminate my church.