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RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 12:55:18 PM

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He protected me from depression, from dispair, and from doing what i really wanted to do then....SCREAM!!! Frankly, screaming wouldn't have been a bad idea, but it would not have been productive. For nearly 2 years, in his own way, he extended his protection to husband, lived through each crisis with me, suggested ways to talk husband into going to the doctor when he should, suggested ways to get husband to eat and exercise.

No, it was not a type of physical protection. However, who knows that for sure. Without him, perhaps i would have become ill myself.

His protection gave me the courage to face another day. His protection gave me the courage to do what i'd promised to do...no more life support, no more extraodinary measures. I stood at the foot of husband's bed calmly, and told them to let him go. Without the courage that his protection gave to me, i might have tried to keep husband longer, even though he was tired of living. I almost faltered when the time came...i almost disobeyed.

Protection comes in all sort of shapes, varieties, and sizes....just as those who follow this lifestyle each have their own brand of D/s.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 12:58:33 PM

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I called him my protector....for that is what he was. He in turn promised to protect me for as long as i needed him to do so. Yes, he was a wonderful friend....but he was more that just a friend.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 1:21:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thanatosian

quote:

Not only a HNG, but a stupid HNG. *sighs*

I'm sorry, but isn't the phrase 'stupid HNG' kinda redundant? or is it just me?

You may not be able to retain rational thought when horny, but I do expect some men can. I find there to be a vast difference between a HNG and a stupid HNG.

I consider myself to be an HNG, I'm just too polite to bother anyone else with it.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 1:23:37 PM

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Thank you, Peppermint. While I have known many protectors, I have not really known any who were protected, and so I could not offer nearly so adequate a defense as yourself.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to peppermint379)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 10:32:28 PM

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Thank you, Suleiman for your kind words. I only hope that what i said makes others think before they make harsh decisions about others. As i have said...life is not black and white, but many shades of gray.

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 10:56:16 PM

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Hi Peppermint,

Let me start by saying I am sorry for your loss and glad you found a man you refered to as your protector.

Let me add, that from the first posters questions, it is not the same kind of thing. Though you called him your protector, most would consider him more a mentor and a friend.

We are talking about the people who if you DARE to speak to the person they are *protecting* to without asking permission, they jump all over you. The ones that seem to collect a harem to *protect* online from the snerts, because for some strange reason these people are in capable of putting someone on ignore or shutting down their computers....

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to peppermint379)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 11:19:43 PM

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EStrict,

We have both interpreted the original post in different ways. I answered the question, "What do you gain from an online protector that can not be done better by someone in real life?".

So my reply remains the same. I was not able or willing to seek a Dom in r/l at the time. The online Dom gave me those things husband could not give to me any longer. By doing so he helped me, and relieved husband's worry about me. A r/l Dom would have interfered with the duties i owed husband. A r/l Dom would have requred time that i might have been unable to provide.

I called him my protector, and will always think of him as such.

(in reply to EStrict)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/27/2004 6:21:01 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EStrict

Let me add, that from the first posters questions, it is not the same kind of thing. Though you called him your protector, most would consider him more a mentor and a friend.

We are talking about the people who if you DARE to speak to the person they are *protecting* to without asking permission, they jump all over you. The ones that seem to collect a harem to *protect* online from the snerts, because for some strange reason these people are in capable of putting someone on ignore or shutting down their computers....

::looks back at original post in confusion:: We are? I thought the question was "what can you get out of it?" - that was certainly the question I attempted to answer when I replied to this thread the first time. I'm not saying your interpretation is invalid, I just occasionally get confused when I suddenly realise I've not been having the same conversation as the person I'm talking to.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to EStrict)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/27/2004 11:25:46 AM

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quote:

We are? I thought the question was "what can you get out of it?" - that was certainly the question I attempted to answer when I replied to this thread the first time. I'm not saying your interpretation is invalid, I just occasionally get confused when I suddenly realise I've not been having the same conversation as the person I'm talking to.

::winks:: don't know why this would be a surprise. This medium allows for much different ways to to interpret the same thing. And on this boards we disagree all the time on basic definitions, so it isn't surprising I read it differently than you did...

Sorry about that :)

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/27/2004 10:29:17 PM

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Joined: 3/21/2004
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peppermint: I think yours is a most unusual situation. But I take your point. I hope that we have not opened old wounds with this conversation.

EStrict: You hit the nail on the head, that was indeed what I was referring to and found odd.

Suleiman: I was definitely asking what the submissives got out of it. I was pretty sure that the "dominants" were getting their ego stroked. But I was wondering if there were submissives who actually got something other than enhancement of a fantasy they couldn't or wouldn't fulfill in real life. I am guessing at this point that there are not.

_____________________________

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong
about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly
taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
-George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to EStrict)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/27/2004 10:44:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

"... but I know several dominants who have "knight in shining armor" complexes..."

A good friend of mine calls this phenomenon, "Captain Savaho". Just thought I'd share.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/27/2004 10:47:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns

A good friend of mine calls this phenomenon, "Captain Savaho". Just thought I'd share.

~Thorns

Really? From whence does s/he derive that term? Is it an inside joke, media reference, or what?

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to MrThorns)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/27/2004 10:53:28 PM

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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I do understand the concept of an online "protector", however I have always called these people "friends". I may rant and rave, bitch, gripe, ask questions, joke, share information, or just goof off with this person, but does that make them my protector, simply because they may be helping me through a bad day?

I see a "protector" as many things. An escort to BDSM events, a mediator for negotiations between the slave and a prospective dominant, or even as a mentor of sorts. I don't think I could (or more specifically, would) really do any of these things online.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to MrThorns)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/28/2004 7:02:54 PM

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Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns

A good friend of mine calls this phenomenon, "Captain Savaho". Just thought I'd share.

~Thorns

Really? From whence does s/he derive that term? Is it an inside joke, media reference, or what?

*spells it out for Suleiman* Save a ho.. I'm not sure if it is a media reference or not.. that one the original poster will have to tell you. I googled it and didn't find many hits. I tend to think it is a personal joke.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 11/5/2004 1:28:04 PM

dally

Posts: 108
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I have tried this online Master/slave relationship bit and confirmed what i originally suspected that it does not work out, atleast not for me anyhow.
How can a Dom I haven't even seen face to face call me his property? and then tell me to go buy my own collar and wear it with his name on it....whoa..i don't think so.

The first Master (and only) I've had I met online, and yes we exchanged emails for the first 3 months or so, we chatted online, and spoke on the phone and I did begin to fall inlove with him even before i met him in person. That is different than a dom which lives in the other side of the country and has just started to get to know me and vice versa claim to own me...?

I find that there are way too many ppl in chat rooms who really have lost grip of reality, and i don't blame them, i have become caught up in the whole cyber D/s world at times as well. But, there are also many who just see this as a "fetish" or a sex game rather than a lifestyle and i believe the difference lies there....

I get pm's all the time from "Masters" who will begin their post with "kneel to Me slut!" or "do u want to be My slave?" needless to say i just close the pm box.....which brings me to my point, why would one need a "Protector" online, as Nagatzhul first posted.....can't you just close that pm box and if he/she persists place them on ignore, or can't you just say, no thank you, and move on...?

On the other hand, I also will admit that i use the D/s and even Gor chat rooms as some form of outlet for my desires....it obviously doesn't come close to the real thing...but it's something....and it's also can be quite fun

~hugs~
dally

quote:

"And those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music." -Angela Monet

(in reply to BeachMystress)

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