RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadistic toward you?

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadistic toward you?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadistic toward you?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadisti... - 1/6/2012 7:49:47 PM

sheisreeds

Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline

The fact that their sadistic feeds the chemistry.

The fact that they do sadistic things to me feeds the love.

No sadism, no chemistry.

No sadism aimed at me, no love.

It's a fairly simple equation.

If I didn't feel a bit scared, intimidated, and challenged by my partner I'd never get turned on.

If he didn't specifically plot and plan on how to make me miserable and get that gleeful look in his eye when he hurts me I wouldn't feel the overwhelming love.

And when I feel that love I just wanna smack him, pull his hair, and elbow him in the nuts.

Thankfully that's cool in our dynamic ;)

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in

You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to strongbottom88)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadisti... - 1/7/2012 6:18:40 PM

BootyBoy

Posts: 108
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

I'll take a try at answering this.

To a degree, I'd like the sadism to be a part of their personality (outside of their relationship to me) because in that way, it seems more natural to the person rather than the situation. I read into your question (whether implied or not) that the person could be completely vanilla if it weren't for the fact that I am submissive. For some reason, that doesn't have the same level of appeal to me. In such a case, the Dominant/sadist seems like a "role" that the person can fill with me, but they also might be submissive to someone else (or Switch). This may be unreasonable, but mentally, I am more turned on by a sadist who is always sadistic as part of their person—not just capable of sadism when they choose to play that role.

On the other hand, I am only talking about sadism as relates to the lifestyle. I wouldn't like to be with a person who strangles kittens or kicks their dog because their are no masochists around to provide relief. I hope all of that makes some sense.

(in reply to strongbottom88)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadisti... - 1/7/2012 6:23:18 PM

BootyBoy

Posts: 108
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

Ah, I forgot that I wanted to say that the sadism tailored just to me is a HUGE turn-on in a person who is a natural sadist. The simpatico that can be achieved when that energy is directed to my particular receptors is much better than a broad brushed idea of just hurting someone... although that works too, in a pinch.

(in reply to BootyBoy)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadisti... - 1/7/2012 8:59:36 PM

slaverachel2Him

Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Of course, the answer is obviously, "well, both, of course."

Phrasing my question specifically to male subs but happy to hear all points of view:

When you consider how erotic/exciting/arousing a sadistic, dominant woman is to you, is the fact that she's sadistic -- or, for example, "She gets turned on by trampling," or "She is very aroused by spanking," or "She gets hot when she inflicts cbt" - is THIS arousing to you?

Or, is it that she simply enjoys doing these things to YOU. And, truth be told, she probably wouldn't want to do it otherwise?

Akasha

i am sexually straight, but i am strongly drawn to submit to certain types of Dominants- male or female. Other ones just piss me off. Sadism alone isn't enough. Though the attraction as you say is both, those those who Dominate me (Master and my Mentor) and those that Dominate in general. i think the direct ones who are very firm, controlled and logical vs the manipulative ones, or bullies who i perceive as weak, bluffing and usually are both.

< Message edited by slaverachel2Him -- 1/7/2012 9:01:23 PM >

_____________________________

Master Richard's slave rachel

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadisti... - 1/14/2012 11:25:56 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

ideally for me it is both as do not want to feel she is doing it to please me but rather i am accepting it to please her..........have had both types in my past so but the proviso could be that since female sexuality is so relationship oriented in general, that she might feel genuinely sadistic to just me and that would also suffice too to some degree....

this is a great question for me right now as i am currently in a relationship with a Domme who is being sadie as part of the relationship exclusively to me but she seems to be acquiring a genuine selfish taste for it in and of itself also so ....

(in reply to slaverachel2Him)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadisti... - 1/15/2012 12:29:53 PM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

When you consider how erotic/exciting/arousing a sadistic, dominant woman is to you, is the fact that she's sadistic -- or, for example, "She gets turned on by trampling," or "She is very aroused by spanking," or "She gets hot when she inflicts cbt" - is THIS arousing to you?

Or, is it that she simply enjoys doing these things to YOU. And, truth be told, she probably wouldn't want to do it otherwise?

Well, for me the attraction isn't really geared to specific activities, or to sexual arousal, so it's not so much "she gets hot when she inflicts cbt" as "she likes hurting people". And if she also likes controlling, degrading, restraining, confining and terrifying them, and subjecting them to discomforts and deprivations, so much the better.

With that said, though, I'd prefer the sadism to be a very basic part of her personality as opposed to something that only I brought out in her. This is actually a bit of an issue in my life at the moment - my girlfriend doesn't seem to have much interest in torturing anyone but me, which I perceive as one of the nagging little problems in a relationship that's terrific in lots of other ways. I'm well past the stage of worrying that she's consciously pandering to my desires, but I do think that she enjoys sadism mostly because of how I, specifically, respond to it. This makes the whole thing seem a bit shallow and inauthentic, and also limits her horizons. Especially considering that we're long distance and don't see each other all that often, she could have a lot of fun and explore a lot of possibilities by taking a flogger to other people now and then. And I'd eventually benefit, in a thoroughly painful and squeal-inducing sort of way, from the skill and experience she would no doubt acquire in the process. I suppose it might happen someday.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 26