DameDarkness
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Joined: 10/1/2004
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I thought these good enough to pass on . .
#1. A WASHINGTON, D.C., AIRPORT TICKET AGENT OFFERS SOME EXAMPLES OF WHY OUR COUNTRY IS IN TROUBLE! The following are her stories.......
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near a window....................
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to 'Capetown.' I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. 'Capetown' is in South Africa." Her response.....click.......
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida vacation we did for him. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an "ocean-view" room. I tried to explain that is not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"...........
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map.".....
5. An aide for a member of the President's Cabinet once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a one-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."....say what?
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her that the plane went fast, and she bought that!....maybe she'd buy the Brooklyn Bridge, too!
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No. Why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said 'FAT' and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude!" After putting her on 'hold' for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is 'FAT', and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.............
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?".........duh, do the tracks float?
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them." . . . who the heck elected him?
10. A woman Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant, "fly to Pensacola, Florida on a commuter plane." She said, "yeah....whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he also needed a Visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a Visa. When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. "I want to go from Chicago to 'Rhino', New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes... what flights do you have?" asked the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country, and I can't find a "Rhino" anywhere?" The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your New York map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply...."Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
Now...is it any wonder why the Federal Government is in the shape that it's in?!!
#2. Yankee Ingenuity
Lets hear it for good old Yankee ingenuity. What ever it takes to get all people living in the United States legal. Hopefully we can secure the country and stop the inflow of illegal entry.
I have a friend who is president of his homeowner's association down in Washington. They are having a terrible problem with trash on the side of the road that is around his association's homes. The reason according to Wallace (my friend) is, there is being built just next to them, six new homes...big ones! Wallace said the trash is coming from the Mexican work crews working at the construction sites. (McDonald Bags, Burger King trash, etc.) He has pleaded with the site supervisors and the general contractor to no avail, called the City, County, the Police and got no help. So.............guess what some people in his community did?
They organized about twenty folks, named themselves The "Inner Neighborhood Services" to go out at lunch time and "police" the trash themselves. It is what they did while picking up the trash that is HILARIOUS !!!!!!!!
They got some navy blue baseball caps and had the initials "INS" in gold put on the caps. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, however, to understand what they hoped people would think it means.
Well, the day after their first pick up detail, with them wearing their caps and some carrying cameras; 46 out of 68, of the construction workers did not show up for work the next morning!!!!!!!!.............and haven't come back yet!!!!! It has been ten days. Now the General Contractor, I understand is madder than hell, but can't say anything publicly, because he could be busted for hiring "illegal aliens." Wallace and his bunch can't be accused of impersonating INS folks, because they have it on their home owner association records the vote to form the new committee within their association, plus they informed the INS about what they were doing in advance, and the INS said basically according to Wallace........."have at it"!
SO FOLKS, I THINK YOU COULD SAY THAT YANKEE INGENUITY TRIUMPHS AGAIN!!!!!!!
_____________________________
Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.
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