Master does not want sex (Full Version)

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chatterbox24 -> Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:46:00 PM)

This is my first post to collarme. Thank you for listening.
I have been involved in a relationship with my Master for a little less then 2 years. I see him one a month or so. Both have conflicting busy schedules and some distance or we would see each other more often.
This is my first experience as a sub/slave. I fought it for the first year, being called a slave, to me it was degrading and refused my Master for a long time. I had no idea when I first met him he was into this lifestyle and I didnt know a thing about it until my connection with him. Although I fought his way for some time he never left me, and I never left him because the attraction is beyond any I have ever had with anyone in my life. THe mental and physcial attraction is intense. I many times wanted to end it but just couldnt, thoughts of him stay with me constantly.
My Master is pleased with the changes he has seen in me, and wants to collar me now. As crazy as I am about him I have concerns. THe thought of ending it with him is unimaginable at this point.
He has never shown any interest in pleasing me, it has always been him. He has never even seen me naked. When I visit he likes for me to kneel and please him, I only stay a brief time (an hour or hour and a half) then he tells me to leave after I do some house work for him. At the beginning of our relationship I told him I wanted sex, but he ignorred those requests and told me to go out and compare. I was so furious I did and guess what I came back, even though he has never pleased me sexually or touched me sexually ever. Not even a kiss. During this time I had not submitted and decided I wanted to be his slave. Outside of our visits he keeps in contact me everyday and is concerned about my life. He tells me he is steaked in our relationship.
He wants to collar me soon and told me to think about the words I want to say to him. He told me it would be "an intimidate ceremonious event" Could this mean he might finally have sex with me or please me in some way? I have spend the last 3 to 4 months being a superior slave after my decision I could live without him. I have spent alot of time trying to make up for the time I was an EXTREMELY DIFFICULT SUb to train. Giving him gifts, telling him how wonderful he is, being faithful etc.
I asked him once "WIll we ever have sex?" and he said I can not answer that. But also keep in mind he told me once he preferred worship over sex. I take my collaring very seriously and need some advice!!!! I dont think I can go without sex forever. I dont know how to approach questioning him either. He does not like excessive questioning. Thank you!



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:51:23 PM)

It sounds like hes married .....



OsideGirl -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:52:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
He tells me he is steaked in our relationship.



Of course he is! He's got some chick that will come over, blow him, do some housework and then leave.

That's not a relationship. Relationships don't flow in only one direction. You're a glorified booty call.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

He wants to collar me soon and told me to think about the words I want to say to him.
My words would be, "You have used me for the last two years and my answer is 'NO'".



RedMagic1 -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:53:09 PM)

I won't look at your profile, because this is a good test of a theory I put forward some months back before I stopped posting here.  My guess is that your age is 40+, even though many people, I'm sure, would think you were young and inexperienced.  Am I right?  Also, either way, have you ever been in a live-in relationship lasting over one year?



xxblushesxx -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:54:03 PM)

Oh hell no. He probably can't even get it up. (which is ok, but he should be honest, and also learn other ways to please you, unless you agree to a totally celibate-on your side-relationship.)

Drop him like a rock, and find a Master who can be honest with you, and who will give you what you need. (and/or what you are willing to accept)



OsideGirl -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:56:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

My guess is that your age is 40+, even though many people, I'm sure, would think you were young and inexperienced.  Am I right? 
You are right!



searching4mysir -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:56:52 PM)

FR

OP,

For it to be a relationship, both parties have to be getting something out of it. What is your payoff? You blow him and clean his house, so we know what he gets out of it.

Just because you self-identify as a slave doesn't mean that your needs do not ever have to be met.

He's already getting whatever he wants from you, so don't think things will change for you after you are collared. If anything, they will only get worse.



crazyml -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:57:36 PM)

With the best will in the world, I think you're fucked. Well, obviously you're not fucked....

Either there's something sketchy (and my sketchomatic alarm did chirp as I read your OP - but it didn't actually go off), or he's not interested in having the kind of relationship you want (to wit one in which you get your oats).

But, you know - the best person to ask is him. And if he doesn't like being asked questions, then begin by telling him he's going to have to suck it up, because you've got some important questions for him, the kind of questions someone who cared about you would be willing to answer.






MistressDarkArt -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 5:59:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I won't look at your profile, because this is a good test of a theory I put forward some months back before I stopped posting here.  My guess is that your age is 40+, even though many people, I'm sure, would think you were young and inexperienced.  Am I right?  Also, either way, have you ever been in a live-in relationship lasting over one year?



Her profile says she's 44, Red.

OP, welcome. You're fairly new to this so I'd like to remind you of a comforting fact. Submissive females are in great demand in this lifestyle. You can have your pick of men who will return the favor. There's no reason to settle for less.






chatterbox24 -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:00:33 PM)

No he is definitely single and a high profile guy so its easy to follow his career. He is not married because I visit his home. Yes I am 44 and I was in a relationship for 22 yrs.



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:04:49 PM)

Chatter, A Dom i dated when i was 18... Was married, I came to his home cleaned for him everything, he only had me over for a few hours at a time when his wife was at work, or book club or some other excuse...

I didnt know it for 8 months until wifey walked in...



OsideGirl -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:05:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
He is not married because I visit his home.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're the only one sucking his dick and cleaning his house.



searching4mysir -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:05:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

No he is definitely single and a high profile guy so its easy to follow his career. He is not married because I visit his home. Yes I am 44 and I was in a relationship for 22 yrs.



If this is an LDR and you don't see each other often, his wife could be away when you visit. Have you done a background search on him?



RedMagic1 -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:05:50 PM)

I remember pissing people off some months back when I said that I believe women in their forties do much dumber shit than women in their teens and twenties when they first find BDSM.  Put another way, I think the worst cases of sub frenzy occur in that age group.  Obviously, I'm not speaking about every woman.  However, in addition to the rush BDSM provides, there is an added, "This is the last chance I am going to have for a man to see me as a sexual being."  It's as though the current master really is the last man on earth.

So you see posts full of desperation, and actions that are not full of common sense.

Anyhow, OP, you have successfully created a financial dominant who will probably never fuck you.  And, frankly, he shouldn't.  If he does, he will be like a boyfriend, and the spell will be broken.  If he continues to insist on worship, and to point out your lack of submission for requesting your own desires be fulfilled, you will be in debt to him, financially and emotionally, forever.

Does that sound like the future you want for yourself?



poise -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:06:58 PM)

I wonder if, at the beginning of the relationship, he was training you (gosh I hate that word) to focus only on his pleasure
as a way of submitting to him. You yourself said that you fought him hard over this, and that he has since come to be proud
of your progress. Either way, 2 years seems a bit long in the training department.

However much he may hate to be questioned, the fact that he is attempting to take ownership over you means he also has
to take responsibility for what you are feeling. I would refuse the collar until you can get some concise answers from him.



chatterbox24 -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:07:33 PM)

As far as him getting it up........lol......he can twice in a brief visit.



Baroana -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:09:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
I had no idea when I first met him he was into this lifestyle and I didnt know a thing about it until my connection with him. Although I fought his way for some time he never left me, and I never left him because the attraction is beyond any I have ever had with anyone in my life. THe mental and physcial attraction is intense. I many times wanted to end it but just couldnt, thoughts of him stay with me constantly.


I hope this doesn't mean what I think it means. What I think it means is that you are intensely attracted to him. He, on the other hand, sees you simply as a doormat, and he was able to mold and manipulate you into being his slave despite your lack of natural desire for it.

Unlike the last person on here who was in that situation, you aren't married to him with a teenager. Get thee some self respect and walk away.



Baroana -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:12:06 PM)

And as for what RedMagic1 posted, I have to say it makes a lot of sense to me.



Fornica -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:13:56 PM)

Just for clarity...he'll "let" you blow him, but not kiss him?



DesFIP -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/22/2012 6:16:22 PM)

You will get less than this in the future, not more.

If this is enough for you, doing his housework and then leaving, possibly giving him a blow job as well (your post is unclear), then stay. If you need a more fulfilling relationship, then leave. He doesn't want you sexually. He may well have ED and isn't honest enough to admit it and find other ways for the both of you to be satisfied.

But you are never going to get more than this brief encounter that you have now. Decide for yourself if you deserve to be satisfied also. In the meantime, a couple of thoughts to ponder. Never make someone a priority who makes you an option. And. When you settle for less than what you deserve, you get less than what you settled for.



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