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RE: Safe Word? - 1/30/2012 8:06:38 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'm just trying to get more interest in that thread as that forum doesn't get much foot traffic, so to speak.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Safe Word? - 1/30/2012 8:34:18 AM   
Fetters4U


Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline 		There is at least one documented case on the internet of a safe-wordless sub dying during play. Apparently, he was gagged, doing a new routine with a new (to him) Pro Domme. He had no idea he had a strong latex allergy. There was no way to communicate that he was going into apoplectic shock. Check the Darwin Awards for details.

 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Safe Word? - 1/30/2012 1:01:58 PM   
Justyourpet


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/24/2011
Status: offline 		Just my experience...I hate safe words, but after my first time playing I realized I needed one. I was all wrapped up and my dom had but back the chastity device on, but it snapped my skin. luckily we had a gesture for safety, cus without it I don't think I could have handle the pain.(for those of you who didn't think it was that bad my penis was swollen pretty bad for a week :/

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Safe Word? - 1/30/2012 7:24:38 PM   
OldRemi


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/10/2011
Status: offline 		No safe words for this sensualist.  (Stupid me!) but  never cared for the easy way..



(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Safe Word? - 1/30/2012 8:34:49 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		I am a firm believer in safe words and safe gestures while playing. Experienced or not, one should always have a safe word, signal, gesture to be able to communicate and to stop play. As much as we might fantasize about I have no say and no limits, real life gets in the way. So things like asthma attacks, breathing difficulties, medical emergencies, and more can and do occur. You need to be able to communicate when you are in trouble because the Dom or Top no matter how good they are cannot know everything or always tell when you are in trouble.

< Message edited by mummyman321 -- 1/30/2012 8:36:01 PM >

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(in reply to OldRemi)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 12:17:59 AM   
slaverachel2Him


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dougie159

If you know each other, have been 'playing' (how the hell did it get that title) for many many months, then should the sub have a safe word? Question brought on by one hell of a 'bruising' (very very literally) session yesterday. Was totally helpless, Mistress really laying in and enjoying herself (bloody Sadists) and realised there was sod all i could do to stop her. She just kept going despite my pleading and begging for a break. If we (still) 'played' with a safe word, i may, just may, have used it. BUT, was glad i did not have one, if that makes sense.
So, over to you lot. What do ya think? How much more real (and satisfying later) is NOT having a way out, a safe word.

dougie (Got the pics to prove the point)

Don't knock down fences until you know why they were put up.

It's what you negotiate. The concept comes from unknowns playing together so they have a common stop/safe word and also so people can say stop, don't and not REALLY stop the session. One IMPORTANT use of a safeword is.. is if you think you are having a heart attack, stroke, feel a bone break, or an internal organ compromised.. It DOES happen, and being able to communicate that is critical. You might be dead, and she'll have a hard time explaining why she kept going. i hope you have a backup escape Plan B if something happens to her too if you play alone. If you REALLY wanted her to stop- at THAT point it became non consent for her to keep going. THAT is something to look at. She needs to be aware of that-though pushing is not unusual, consent is BDSM non-consent is abuse. THAT is how we explain it to the powers that be, and we need to stick to it to defuse discrimination. We remain distinct from abusers by our consent. Some of us like the bruising and welts, "marks". It sounds like you need to maybe renegotiate some things- re-evaluate what you are looking for. A safeword if you are new is a good idea. You can scrap it later when you know each other well and she can read you better. Also-again, medical conditions need to be communicated.

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Master Richard's slave rachel

(in reply to dougie159)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 12:21:33 AM   
slaverachel2Him


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

There is at least one documented case on the internet of a safe-wordless sub dying during play. Apparently, he was gagged, doing a new routine with a new (to him) Pro Domme. He had no idea he had a strong latex allergy. There was no way to communicate that he was going into apoplectic shock. Check the Darwin Awards for details.

 

There is another case of a man who was often gagged with a hood on and his Mistress often left him for hours that way. This time, she took a shower and when she came out he was dead. SHE went to prison. Another case a limitless slave was electrocuted by her idiot master and his alpha slave. She survived. They are on trial for whatever they are charged with. a friend of mine is a material witness.

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Master Richard's slave rachel

(in reply to Fetters4U)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 3:04:02 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hey OP...

Out of interest, what would have happened if you'd used your old safeword ?

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(in reply to dougie159)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 3:15:14 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantHunger
For myself, with a sub I've never played with before, I ALWAYS start with the red/yellow/green cliche AND I stop for any other word of protest. I won't play the no-means-yes game with someone I don't know well and will fully discuss the implications of falling back to only responding to a safe word before it happens. Since everyone is different, I will likely modify how safe words are handled as I get to know someone better.

I think the theme of the tread is there is no one right answer, be aware of yourself, be aware of the situation, and make appropriate decisions to minimize risk.


Sound as a pound.

I don't often engage in play where a safeword is relevant, since I don't engage in hard CP all that often, and a simple "No" is enough.

Occasionally though I'll get my CP groove on, and then I insist on a safeword when playing with someone new. Over time it tends to become redundant, but even after many months, if she used it I'd stop immediately and we'd have a good natter about it.

For me it's a sign that I've not read her responses properly, so I feel a responsibility to stop, and listen.


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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 7:54:49 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Another case a limitless slave was electrocuted by her idiot master and his alpha slave. She survived. They are on trial for whatever they are charged with. a friend of mine is a material witness.


That's this case, right? http://www.collarchat.com/m_3449895/tm.htm

I'd love for you to comment on that thread, which is still open as there was an update last month.

(in reply to slaverachel2Him)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 1:45:48 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldRemi

No safe words for this sensualist.  (Stupid me!) but  never cared for the easy way..


What's this "easy way"?

All my past subs had a safe-word (mostly at my insistance) but none were comfortable with the thought of actually using it. And I don't mean in fear of their well-being but rather a fear of failure if they did safe-word. Which can be annoying because *I* determine what constitutes failure....

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to OldRemi)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 7:32:52 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm beginning to think that I'm the only person here who ever had stomach cramps and needed to be released to run to the bathroom. And yes, that merited a safeword.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 8:48:30 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Not just you, Celeste. "Nature calling" has ruined several of my bondage masterpieces.... lol

The standing rule is that when she knows restraint is iminent, she speaks up if there's even the slightest chance she needs to "go". But yeah, Nature doesn't always give a lot of warning, dammit.... Still, my girl doesn't actually need to safe-word for it - though I can't guarantee she won't get "the stare", either. lol

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 9:31:22 PM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		We have a safeword.. but I am very new to this and like any new partnership, till you get a full grasp of what someone can handle and how someone reacts to certain stimuli I think its a Very. Good. Idea.




_____________________________

"WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS!"

Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

Secretary - ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 9:49:14 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm beginning to think that I'm the only person here who ever had stomach cramps and needed to be released to run to the bathroom. And yes, that merited a safeword.


Nope, i safe word for nature things as well..


_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Safe Word? - 2/1/2012 9:55:00 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		if I have to go I'm usually told to hold it or go where I'm standing lol. I prefer to hold it. lol


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Safe Word? - 2/2/2012 7:46:12 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I am quite diligent about starting play with a very empty bladder but once I attempted a bathroom break for a tampon change and was told "Bleed on the floor - it will add atmosphere."

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Safe Word? - 2/2/2012 7:55:14 AM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		Although I'm relatively new to this business, I have recently noticed that although intellectually, the idea of a safe word such as yellow or red is appealing, I find that when getting spanked to the point it becomes too unbearably painful, those words simply don't come to mind. It is more likely this will come out of my mouth, "Oh, no, please, (insert Top's name here), that is too much!"

Maybe I just need more practice at it!

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Safe Word? - 2/2/2012 9:52:23 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dougie159
If you know each other, have been 'playing' (how the hell did it get that title) for many many months, then should the sub have a safe word?

Depends, if you're the sort of person who says no when you really mean harder then I think they are a good thing to have. Otherwise I'm more of a fan of people talking to each other in the normal fashion.

However, the question you've asked I think is a little different. It's whether or not your Mistress should listen when you say no. I think that's the actual question regardless of whether you pronounce the concept of no as no or as banana.

(in reply to dougie159)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Safe Word? - 2/2/2012 1:38:20 PM   
straponprincess1


Posts: 48
Joined: 11/19/2010
From: Tampa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

From the other side of the coin, what NyxPontia said.


I feel the same. I think you should always have one.


_____________________________

StrapOnPrincess
Strap On Sessions

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 60
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