Am I a switch?

Am I a switch? (Full Version)

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TheKingofHell -> Am I a switch? (1/30/2012 11:45:01 PM)
I don't like being told what to do but I sometimes have fantasies of being dominated and I do want to dominate but I often find myself being completely clueless and not knowing what to do when in a position where I can dominate. Is this do due to a lack of experience? You see through out my life I've been a follower always striving to a leader in other words I'm a beta wolf(possibly omega given my social standing back in high school) that has always wanted to be a alpha wolf.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Am I a switch? (1/31/2012 4:04:06 AM)
When I first started indulging my switching impulses I didn't always know what to say or do, I chalked it up to lack of experience. Now that I have experience, I rarely lack ideas on what I want regardless of being on the top or the bottom. Just sit down and fantasize about being the top, dream up your list of 'hot things' then try them out next time you get the chance. Like any new position or activity you do need to build up a little confidence in yourself at first. Regardless of experience or not though, just do what you enjoy, and don't worry about analyzing it too much.

doctorgrey -> RE: Am I a switch? (2/6/2012 6:56:27 AM)
no. yes. dunno DrG

DesFIP -> RE: Am I a switch? (2/6/2012 9:52:17 AM)
Not liking people telling you what to do in real life has nothing to do with what you like sexually or in an interpersonal relationship. Many people who are in control of their daily lives enjoy having a rest from that when at home. Instead of fantasizing and imagining, go meet people. Date, explore, have relationships. And then, when you have a better understanding of what you like in a relationship you will be more able to determine what label you want.

jennileigh8182 -> RE: Am I a switch? (2/7/2012 10:32:25 AM)
I agree with Des. I'm an alpha in my normal life...I'm very competent and like to run things. However, in relationships...I want my partner to be strong enough to inspire me to submit. I tend to hold men that can't meet that in contempt. Not consciously, but I find myself despising their weakness, viewing them as inferior, and thus no longer of interest for me. But none of that makes me a switch. I am very firmly submissive, but not everyone gets to see that.

leonine -> RE: Am I a switch? (2/9/2012 12:52:43 AM)
As I know and use the term, switching is about your BDSM life. Having different roles in the outer world and in BDSM is another matter. I know plenty of subs who are strong minded leaders in their public life, but I don't call them switches because in private intimate relationships they only want to submit. Personally, I believe that everyone into BDSM has the potential to go either way, but most people pick a role and stick with it unless something happens to shake them up. (Like my wife who thought she was only a Domme till she found herself wanting to submit to me.) If your fantasies go both ways, it may turn out that only one way works for you in real life, but you'll only find out by trying.

BoxwineForBrunch -> RE: Am I a switch? (2/9/2012 1:41:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheKingofHell I don't like being told what to do but I sometimes have fantasies of being dominated and I do want to dominate but I often find myself being completely clueless and not knowing what to do when in a position where I can dominate. Is this do due to a lack of experience? You see through out my life I've been a follower always striving to a leader in other words I'm a beta wolf(possibly omega given my social standing back in high school) that has always wanted to be a alpha wolf. you may just be kind of a schliemel who dreams of being a schlamazel. jk :D (but srsly)

Violetdragonlady -> RE: Am I a switch? (2/10/2012 2:51:32 PM)
I am a switch but for me I can only submit to someone who I cannot dominate. I'm lucky in that My Master does allow me to dominate others at events etc to get it out of my system and so I don't constantly try to 'top from the bottom' at home. In the 'real world' even my bosses call me formidable so I guess I do have a fairly dominant personality overall but I do enjoy my submission to him. One thing I do firmly believe though is that before you can dominate anybody else you have to be in control of yourself first, and know yourself, your flaws and weaknesses as well as your strengths and accept them and work on improving and correcting the flaws and weaknesses.

NinaAura -> RE: Am I a switch? (2/27/2012 6:42:58 AM)
I've been in the same position you're in. For awhile I thought I was a dominant, taking on submissive guys and girls just to get it out of my system. After awhile I'd get frustrated and realize I had no ideas once put in that position. In a normal vanilla relationship I was the dominant personality, making the choices, doing the work. But then I met my Master who took all the power from me. It felt good to be able to let go and relax. But there's also that other side of me that likes to be dominant and "fight the power". It might be you're a submissive with a bite who doesn't just lay down but likes to be put in their place or that you just need to explore some more and become more confident in yourself so that you can let your dominant side out.

newbieL -> RE: Am I a switch? (3/5/2012 3:04:02 AM)
Just be what you want to be in each moment , don´t feel in a hurry for being classified.

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