std's and safe play

std's and safe play (Full Version)

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laika2000 -> std's and safe play (2/26/2012 8:07:17 PM)
although new to this site, i've been in and around the "community" for over 20 years. i have seen many friends become sick (temporarily and permantly) and sometimes die due to unsafe sexual practices or worse yet - trusting someone at face value. i doubt i am alone in these experiences, especially on a site devoted to sexuality. my question is - why is it i can define my tastes on collarme down to the most refined and exquisite parameter yet there is not a SINGLE dropdown bar to address those of us who have an std and are mature enough to discuss it and advertise ourselves accordingly? if you haven't been on the website "positivesingles" or something of its nature, you may be surprised to see how many people are on both. let's grow up and take some communal responsibility on this site. fantasy and fetish are one thing - denial and deception another. laika

MistressDarkArt -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 9:25:35 PM)
Welcome, Laika! As for a 'drop-down menu', on the other side one could certainly put whatever information they wanted in their profile narrative. Here, there have been many, many discussions on the boards about safer sex (or the lack) and folks currently dealing with STIs. If you're interested, try a search and join in the conversations.

laika2000 -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 9:45:49 PM)
fair eough. i will check out posts. my belief is that people are more likely to be open about things they see as normally "advertised" vice self-admissions. i am more apt to check the "edge play" block if i see it (thus it appears more commonplace) than if i have to self admit.

peppermint -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 9:58:31 PM)
My personal opinion is that is it no one's business if I have an STD except the person with whom I may be contemplating having a relationship. I make a lot of friends here. Since those friendships will never involve sex, why would I want them to know my own private business if it does not effect them at all?

laika2000 -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 10:24:23 PM)
well i guess because in my experience, friendship equals complete trust and sharing of private things. i, personally, do not hide things from friends. i call everyone else an "acquaintance". to each her/his own.

peppermint -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 10:46:17 PM)
If you wish to share all things with your friends you are welcome to do so. There are things I do not discuss with friends, even my best friends. As an example, I never discuss my financial affairs with my friends. I have no idea how much money they have as they do not discuss that with me. If you wish for your friends to know how much money you have in the bank and how much your IRA is worth that is entirely YOUR choice. When I was growing up it was considered impolite to talk about personal private matters such as sex and money. I don't ask my friends how many times they fuck every week nor do I ask how many times they orgasmed. I have never felt the need to call up my best friend to tell her I fucked the night before. I discuss sex with my sexual partners and money with my financial advisors. I see no reason why a friend, no matter how close a friend, needs to know any of that. I do not consider my point of view as hiding anything from my friends. There really is such a thing as TMI. How we relate to friends is not important here. What is important is why you think it would be necessary for me to reveal if I had an STD and post it in a public profile for any and all to read. How could that possibly have any effect on anyone except for the one person with whom I have sex? Why would you care what my STD healh might be? Why would I care about your STD health? How would posting that help people to use safer sex methods?

JanahX -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 11:14:35 PM)
Hey if you want everyone to know .. you can font size up to the largest readable letter size - change the color to bright red and advertise on YOUR VERY OWN PROFILE: I HAVE A RAGING CASE OF ___________________, ____________________, AND ____________________. And I'm PROUD OF IT !!! WHOO HOOOOOO !!!! Its really that easy, when it comes right down to it.

laika2000 -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 11:52:13 PM)
wow. enjoy your repression.

laika2000 -> RE: std's and safe play (2/26/2012 11:56:54 PM)
and your "sock".

laika2000 -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 12:18:26 AM)
i guess according to your rationale, none of your 'friends' know you even have an interest in bdsm. that said, why do you care what you - or i - post here?

laika2000 -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 12:22:24 AM)
funny, you make "friends" here yet do not discuss things like stds. you are an amazing array of contradictions.

peppermint -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 12:31:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laika2000 i guess according to your rationale, none of your 'friends' know you even have an interest in bdsm. that said, why do you care what you - or i - post here? OH, my good friends know all about my interest in BDSM. However, that has nothing to do with my sex life nor my financial well being. Actually, I really don't give a damned if you post here. I was just commenting that is it not logical to expect everyone and all web sites to do things YOUR way.

peppermint -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 12:34:50 AM)
Why would I wish to discuss STDs with my friends? Believe me when I tell you that sexually transmitted diseases do not come up in our conversations. Why would they? We'd rather discuss our golf game, the latest books we are reading, and where we want to go to dinner. We'd have to be really bored to feel the need to discuss STDs.

laika2000 -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 12:55:54 AM)
well...i'd have to be exquisitely bored to discuss golf. guess we'll never see eye to eye. take care.

peppermint -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 1:34:22 AM)
Isn't it wonderful how we are all unique? What works for one person is a complete dud with the next. We are all so marvelously different.

angelikaJ -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 5:53:36 AM)
FR I have noticed that some people just write their particular STI circumstance within the text of their profiles.

DreamyLadySnow -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 3:39:09 PM)
I just assume everyone I play with has everything, and ask accordingly. Has kept me safe so far

SharedLife -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 4:03:08 PM)
quote: I have noticed that some people just write their particular STI circumstance within the text of their profiles. ORIGINAL: angelikaJ The OP does actually state she is hpv2 + in her profile quote: I HAVE A RAGING CASE OF <snip> And I'm PROUD OF IT !!! WHOO HOOOOOO !!!! ORIGINAL:JanahX I know your a sock - but thats low ! There is a difference between someone being honest and not "ashamed", and their being "proud" Peppermint, well, no comment ! The other side is a dating site it may or may not have been a suggestion all or even most would follow - but it didnt seem to me to be a "bad" suggestion, personally I give kudos to the OP for being honest and up front - and putting a "suggestion" out there that "might" help others.

JanahX -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 4:35:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL:JanahX I know your a sock - but thats low ! There is a difference between someone being honest and not "ashamed", and their being "proud" whats low about it? It was just a SUGGESTION. If she doesnt want to take it, she duddent' have to.

kalikshama -> RE: std's and safe play (2/27/2012 4:48:24 PM)
Having your HPV status in the first line of your profile is the most prominent place for it. Will some men ignore it? Sure. I added "not looking" in the first line of mine and while it did cut down, it didn't stop emails. You can do a keyword search to see if other people have mentioned it in theirs.

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