RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (Full Version)

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MissImmortalPain -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 1:26:36 PM)

I am tempted to ask what you would do if this weren't a sub. What if it were just a friend or a little sister. Wouldn't you tell her to deal with it in the same way anyone else would. Wouldn't you suggest to the young woman that it is most likely in her best interest to cut communication with said other person. That if she feels she is being harrassed to report it to the proper people. I would also hope that at your age you would remind her that if you break rules(as you implied she did) that sometimes you pay for such behaviours.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 1:53:49 PM)

They are adult women and can not control them selves any better than this?

I say let them fight to the death.

Bless their lil hearts.

edit to remove cafeteria reference, after reading another thread



BurntKitty -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 2:08:35 PM)

Is this a real life relationship or a cyber one?



lizi -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 4:45:13 PM)

I'm allergic to drama, this is way too much drama. You've only been on the site for 10 days and I'm positive you didn't have a sub when you joined as you were looking for information about what to do when you found someone, so this relationship is literally days old. Days old and already she's needing you to defend her against horrible people and threats to her peace of mind? It's not that I don't believe her story, it's just kind of crazy to be engaged in this type of thing with someone you just met. I have to say, what does it say about her common sense if she's going around getting involved with strangers that try 'topping' her (at school?) and then tell their Master that she is a unicorn for them. Is this a fantasy novel? Honestly, how could this level of stuff be happening already? What the hell kind of world does this woman live in?

For the record, no one at my school knows I'm submissive and doesn't try anything involving intimate acts with me or they'd find that I'd take appropriate steps taken to keep them from me speaking to them again, if that didn't work I'd go to the teacher, if that didn't work I'd talk to the college, and if that didn't work they'd find my shoes down their throat. I'm not going to have anyone in any walk of life speaking to me about something I consider private, and certainly not starting a drama filled mini-series and making threats on my person. This whole story is absolutely bonkers.

For someone who just started out, this wacky story seems a trifle overboard, is this what BDSM means to you? Is this woman you've known for days really that much of a catch if this is what she brings to your doorstep almost immediately within starting with you? I'd be wondering if it was all worth the trouble.

For the record you've always struck me as a well-intentioned person with a brain which is why this all just seems so weird.

As far as help, she can go to the college, they'll have their own campus security department and nothing BDSM need ever be mentioned. If the other woman brings it up, your partner can look appalled and be indignant at the suggestion. If either of you learns anything from this it might be that no one ever need know of your BDSM interests, and if they didn't, this whole thing wouldn't have started.



Killerangel -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 5:03:21 PM)

Is this like a kinky soap opera? I never meet people and have them claim me as some kind of prize for their bedroom games and then get threats when I don't go along.

OP, read what you've written here on this thread and tell me it doesn't sound like the craziest thing you ever heard. Lol...people into kink are just people, they're not running around with nets trying to capture poor unawares college students as property. This all sounds fishy to be honest. It's a little too bonkers to be real. I've been kinky for a long time and I've never known anyone be interested in another if they didn't think they were on board with things. That's another thing, why did this other woman think she could somehow claim the woman you know as a third? What did this woman you know do that sent the wrong signals? If it's even all true...

I think this is either a complete fabrication or you're not being told the whole truth.



Fornica -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 6:36:51 PM)

Is this online?
Is she is grade 10?



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 7:07:10 PM)

OP, as much as you want to save her from being picked on by this other woman, she's an adult. She can, or should be able to, fight her own battles. Can't she tell that other woman herself to stay the hell away from her and, if she doesn't, report her to the school authorities for harassment, sexual or otherwise, whatever kind it is? She doesn't have to bring up the BDSM aspect of it all.

Just because she's a sub, it does NOT mean she's unable to take care of herself. If you feel you absolutely need to get involved, tell the other woman's Dom that he needs to instruct his girl to stay away from yours or else <whatever you decide to do in case she doesn't step off>. If it were me and I were being harassed by someone who would not listen when I tried to be reasonable with her, there are such things as No Contact and Anti-Harassment Orders and I'd be headed in that direction.

NBMG



Aileen1968 -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 7:12:28 PM)

This sounds so ridiculously far fetched.
If there is even one speck of truth in all of this then teach her two words. Fuck off.



littlewonder -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 7:20:49 PM)

Tell her it's time to grow up because that's what you do when you leave high school and move onto college....welcome to the real world!

If she can't even do this how is she ever going to survive in the world? Always hide behind you? What happens when you aren't around and she has to rely on herself?

Nevermind, I don't even wanna think about that. It's just too gruesome.



Alecta -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/27/2012 9:45:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta
If this was happening at kin club or similar, however, I'd just grab the other sub by the roots of her hair and haul her ass off in front of her Master


Which isn't kosher either and would be considered physical assault.



Granted, but I've got a temper and aren't always the most legit cookie ;)



risktaker9 -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 6:01:28 AM)

OP, take the kink out of it- do what they do in elementary school when it's time for the word problems in math. Take out all the extraneous information. What you have then is a woman you just barely met having some high drama involving jealousy and threats with people she supposedly hardly knows. If she truly feels threatened she should go to the authorities which it seemed like she was doing by your last posting here. Problem solved.

Btw, this just doesn't seem normal in my opinion even if you throw the kink back into it. Craziest thing I ever heard. Remember, this is her account of what has happened, you are missing the other half. The actual truth is somewhere in between.



Englishcrumpet -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 6:19:34 AM)

it seems obvious to me that she has to be pretty new to all of this too - so shes in some sort of sub frenzy, all over the place, 'girls just wanna have fun' and 'protect me daddy' type of stuff.

personally id let her have her fizzy moment and learn from it - tell her you dont do 'drama' and see whether she picks her own tail off the floor and deals with this all by herself - what would she do if you werent there getting all protective about this.



fucktoyprincess -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 6:23:02 AM)

FR

You are allowing this other couple to hold the two of you hostage because of the BDSM aspect of your respective relationships - i.e. you are scared to go to the authorities because you don't want to be "outted". It is still harassment. Go to the school authorities. Just say there was a misunderstanding and that misunderstanding is causing behavior that is interfering with your gf's work.

If discussing this with the authorities requires you to go into detail about the relationship dynamics going on then do it in vanilla terms. If you do not want to discuss BDSM, then you can discuss the entire scenario in vanilla terms - threesomes and poly exist in the vanilla world. I highly doubt this other couple is interested in the details of their relationship dynamics being public either.

p.s. If this is a school, and this person is underage, please just remove this thread. If the reason you are not able to go to the authorities is because she is underage, then there is a whole other issue going on here, about which there is only one piece of advice to give.



Missokyst -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 8:41:59 AM)

wow. Sounds like this girl is much younger than the one you discussed a few days ago.. you know, the one who was not your sub yet. This kind of drama is very HS. Or.. it might be that she is a clever cookie who is stringing along an older man who is still too new to find out not everyone is as they seem. Have you actually met in person yet?
In the event you have and this threat to her is real, hasn't she figured out yet that the other girl also claims to be sub?
No threat exists if it can be flipped back on the accuser. And if as you suggest later in this thread, the threat is regarding her behavior at school then I say WTF... do you want someone who is unethical?
It amazes me what some men put up with to have a piece of tail



SoftBonds -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 9:14:00 AM)

OK, so I've been talking to folks who post here offline, hoping the thread would just die.
Here is "the rest of the story," or at least, what I'm willing to share.
1. I have a "white knight complex." She didn't ask me to help, she wanted someone to vent to. I went into overprotective mode, which some folks mentioned. Hopefully I can learn from my mistake.
2. She is dealing with it herself. I was thinking of getting involved, but the combined wisdom of the boards has convinced me otherwise. I am confident that with the college officials she will handle it.
3. She is of age. I think I made her seem younger by my overprotective attitude, which again is my fault, not hers.
4. She did not do something wrong at school, someone else started rumors that she had done something wrong. She can prove that she didn't do it, but how do you stop a rumor, right? Folks still think Obama wasn't born in the US.
Conclusion: I goofed, I'm sorry, can we drop the thread?



lizi -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 10:22:38 AM)

Thank you for the explanation.



SailingBum -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 1:01:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

OK, so I've been talking to folks who post here offline, hoping the thread would just die.
Here is "the rest of the story," or at least, what I'm willing to share.
1. I have a "white knight complex." She didn't ask me to help, she wanted someone to vent to. I went into overprotective mode, which some folks mentioned. Hopefully I can learn from my mistake.
2. She is dealing with it herself. I was thinking of getting involved, but the combined wisdom of the boards has convinced me otherwise. I am confident that with the college officials she will handle it.
3. She is of age. I think I made her seem younger by my overprotective attitude, which again is my fault, not hers.
4. She did not do something wrong at school, someone else started rumors that she had done something wrong. She can prove that she didn't do it, but how do you stop a rumor, right? Folks still think Obama wasn't born in the US.
Conclusion: I goofed, I'm sorry, can we drop the thread?


Actually no. What you have is a need to grow the fuck up complex

BadOne



Focus50 -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 4:59:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

my sub harrassed by another master's sub


Seems like a whole bunch of teenage melodrama so I'm just gonna give the simple answer to the subject title.

If my sub is getting harassed by *anyone*, then damn straight I'm gonna get involved. It'll be polite and maybe even passive - AT FIRST - as long as that's sufficient to resolve the problem.

One thing I won't tolerate of my girl is her being stressed and distracted by outside influences - because that affects her inside the relationship, making her problem mine!

Focus.



DesFIP -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 6:17:32 PM)

The problem here is that you're trying to fix the problem without getting the other girl in trouble. What you don't get is that the other girl should be getting consequences for her action.

If this was a guy she had turned down doing this shit, is there any reason she wouldn't have already made a formal complaint?

If you were working in an organization and somebody was making it impossible for you to do your job because you had turned them down for sex, wouldn't your first response be to walk into HR and file a formal complaint?

Same here. This is what she needs to do. And not feel guilty about getting the other girl in trouble because the other girl caused this trouble and deserves to receive a consequence for it.



SailingBum -> RE: my sub harrassed by another master's sub (2/28/2012 6:29:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

my sub harrassed by another master's sub


Seems like a whole bunch of teenage melodrama so I'm just gonna give the simple answer to the subject title.

If my sub is getting harassed by *anyone*, then damn straight I'm gonna get involved. It'll be polite and maybe even passive - AT FIRST - as long as that's sufficient to resolve the problem.

One thing I won't tolerate of my girl is her being stressed and distracted by outside influences - because that affects her inside the relationship, making her problem mine!

Focus.


Yer kidding right? ppl are affected by outside stresses all the time job, family friends the list goes on. Call me crazy but the girl I choose to hang with would be able to handle the stress in their life without coming to me every day and saying fixit.

BadOne



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