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jennileigh8182 -> RE: Dom/sub master/slave horror stories (2/29/2012 5:06:24 PM)
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My first D/s relationship...
I met the man on alt, though he's here as well. I was...19, I think? He was 32. He told me he was separated from his wife and working on a divorce (ha! how many times have we heard that?) Being 19 and wanting desperately to please as a sub, I believed him. We went out a few times, he pushed me pretty hard, pretty fast. On our second date, he took a picture of me in a new top and collar he'd purchased for me, saying he wanted a picture to look at when we were apart. He told me later that his (not yet) ex-wife saw it (he showed it to her, truth be told) and said I wasn't pretty enough for him. On our third date, he took me to a concert at a county fair and got us kicked out because he was trying to finger me in the stands. I was understandable (or so I think) shaken and distraught. What was his solution for taking my mind off it? Forcing me to give him a blowjob in his van before we headed our separate ways. When it came out that he was actually not only still married, but still living with his wife (who still wanted to try to work things out), I was quite upset and told him I didn't want to have any further sexual contact until the marriage situation was resolved. He was furious and thought I was horribly unreasonable. I don't honestly remember what the final straw was, but I broke it off, which was long over-due. About 9-10 months later, he called me on my birthday, for the supposed purpose of saying, 'Happy Birthday,' but for the actual purpose of telling me how he had a new sub, a GOOD little girl. She was only 18. Her family had threatened to disown her if she moved in with him, but she did it anyway because she was a GOOD girl and a WORTHY sub, unlike myself.
I married a man that I should have never even given the time of day to simply because he was so un-dominant...a response to my flight from the bad relationship. I left D/s for many years. I was convinced that, while I wanted to be a sub and felt like a sub, I simply wasn't good enough to be one, that I wasn't worthy of a Master/dominant. It took a number of years for me to realize how horribly unfulfilled I was in my marriage and what a mistake it was. I started r/p'ing in Gor again and made several dominant friends, good men that talked with me and teased this story out, and over time convinced me that I could not continue to take full blame for the failure of the relationship, that it wasn't my unworthiness as a sub that was at fault.
I have pretty strong personal ethics, and to have been sleeping with a married man violated them strongly. He had put me under the impression that the separation was long-term and the divorce would be finalized soon. For violating me in that way alone, I could never forgive him.
He's actually messaged me here, having noted a little blurb in my profile about my past, and was very angry, claiming I misunderstood everything and that he never lied to me.
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