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Aswad -> RE: safety tips for first time encounters (4/8/2012 1:23:09 AM)
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ORIGINAL: PateSucree
Dude, I make cupcakes for a living, I'm about as uncreepy as it gets.
Never said you were creepy.
I said keeping mace around for a meeting was creepy.
This is similar to the concealed carry problem: by the time you think to reach, it's too late. Nails and pointy shoes will do a better job, and they are always available and concealed in plain sight. If you get a chance to spray someone with mace, it's either (a) because there was no reason to do so, or (b) because you got lucky.
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Isn't it a bit creepy to consider putting mace up someone's ass?
Nah. It's great fun. [:D]
Mace isn't CN-gas anymore, it's capsaicin, which means it will burn like hell, but it won't do any lasting damage. At least as far as I know. I haven't actually tried it, seeing as I would like to stick something else in there later, without getting it covered in capsaicin.
But you kind of missed the point:
If someone is looking to assault you, he will take the mace from you, and then use it on you. Unless you've already got your mace out before things start to happen, it'll be too late, because the attacker has the reaction time advantage and is already surging with adrenalin from the moment they cross the mental line of "I'm really going to do this." and onward. Instead, just be aware of the risk, pay attention to your surroundings and your gut feeling, and get away if the situation starts looking problematic.
Violent crimes and sexual assaults have steps to them. The mace only becomes relevant after you've already failed to preemt an attack at every one of the preceding steps, and it's sadly a common misconception that the chances are going to be any better at the last couple of steps, or that the mace will radically alter the odds. Your best bet, if you've already arrived at that point, is to surprise him by clawing for the eyes or kicking for the knees while yelling "fire!" at the top of your lungs, and then running like hell in the brief moment the surprise lasts.
The majority of rapists will abort when they're faced with any real resistance, and while the risk of sustaining some minor injuries will increase, the risk of getting killed or penetrated will dramatically decrease; also, you're maximizing the likelihood of securing DNA evidence and witnesses with flashbulb memories of his face, even if he aborts.
Mace is a control weapon, which is how and why police use it.
It's far more useful to a rapist than a potential victim.
In the course of planning fantasy "rape" scenarios, I've given a fair bit of thought to the various ways to do one, and one of the first things I thought of was mace, simply because it puts control in the hands of the "attacker" right away and gives a shocking "diving in" start to the whole experience, with fear, pain, adrenalin, blindness, gagging and so forth. Of course, for a non-masochist, a xenon flashbulb will also induce temporary blindness without that persisting burning sensation, but a real rapist is unlikely to be that sophisticated (aren't we all glad pondersome perverts like me stick with willing women?).
If carrying a can of mace makes you feel safer, then don't carry one.
It just dulls the senses that'll keep you out of trouble.
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Obviously letting people know the mace is there is unwise.
Hardly. It's like with guns: people overestimate the risk.
If you surprise them, it's down to a physical conflict, and chances are they will avoid getting sprayed with it. There's also a good chance they'll gain control over it, in which case you're screwed, quite possibly literally so. (Guns are much the same, except the outcome is more likely to be fatal; quite a few people are shot with their own self defense firearms.)
The goal is to avoid having it come down to an actual conflict, and leaving the mace where they can see it puts them on notice. It doesn't significantly reduce your chances of using it, and it dramatically increases the chance that they will chicken out. Courage isn't exactly a defining trait in most rapists.
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I would never play with someone who made me feel uncomfortable anyway, but I've lived in the shitty side of town long enough to know that it never hurts to take precautions. I always have mace on me, even when I go to the grocery store- there's just too much shit that can happen to a 115 pound girl physically incapable of running.
Define physically incapable of running?
Obviously, this isn't detailed advice tailored to your situation, but I've rarely encountered any woman whose safety could be enhanced by planning on the use of mace or the like in a self defense scenario. I have, however, encountered women that learned too late that having false security is worse than no security at all. And I have provided advice and training that have been successful in preventing assaults.
It's not strictly speaking a major focus of mine. I just think that, as you say, there's a lot of shit that can happen, and it makes me feel useful to try to offer what I know to be proven helpful advice, along with training in those self-defense techniques I have learned.
Health,
al-Aswad.
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