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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/20/2012 4:07:10 PM   
TNDommeK


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You just like to keep good company ;)

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/20/2012 4:39:57 PM   
JeffBC


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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I'd have to disagree with you also Vanessa. I very much require tribute and I am most definitely real. I really have sessions, I really get paid for them and I really do what I want in them. Plus, I can see My reflection in the mirror, so that makes Me real too. ;)

The ultimate truth of "real-ness" right there. Of course TNDommeK is "real". However, she is REALLY a pro-domme. If someone was looking for a pro-domme then she'd be the perfect gig. If someone was looking for a relationship then perhaps not so much. In my experience, "real" actually means, "really what I was looking for".


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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/20/2012 5:23:14 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline
Hello A/all,

From the sound if his post, newguy is receiving unsolicited messages requesting (demanding?) money. If that is indeed the case, there is nothing to say. You get those occasionally. Hit delete and move on.

If, on the other hand, newguy is asking for advice on how to spot such Dommes before contacting them, I may have a useful insight or two. Read her profile carefully. (You should do this any way.) If she uses PHRASES such as Fin-Domme, Financial Domination or Pay-Piggy, move on. What is the TONE of her profile? I find many such Dommes have a rather nasty edge to their profiles. If so, move on. BOASTING can be a clue. It seems to me that more than a few such Dommes over-sell themselves. Move on. If you get a message demanding money before you can progress any further with this Domme, Move ON!

I will NOT tell you that such Dommes are fake. If your kink is to send money to an unatainable woman for the privilege of being insulted by her.... I see it as a real form of domination. I, for one, will pass.

I would like to address the issue of Pro-Dommes. I LOVE THEM! My first experience in Female Domination (and a few since) was with a Pro. Just to be clear, I am refering to "REAL TIME" sessions. I have no experience with on-line sessions or video sessions and am not competent to address them. Pro-Dommes will tell you what they are right up front. On the other hand, I have never had one mention 'Tribute' untill I inquired about it. Her tribute structure should be pretty clear cut, X dollars per hour. There may be additional charges for a messy item such as Reddi-Whip. You should have a clear idea of what you can expect and what you CANNOT expect before money changes hands.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/20/2012 5:33:30 PM   
LPslittleclip


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there is a real nice dungon in atlanta called 1763 lots of play spaces and classes as well as havong rooms on site to use for the night if needed as well as atending the local groups

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/20/2012 7:13:16 PM   
TNDommeK


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Jeff, I couldn't have said it better Myself.

Also, SnowRanger, you are correct, it is pretty cut and dry. And I love what you had to say about Pros.

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/24/2012 8:16:37 PM   
Spankingvelvet


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" In my experience, "real" actually means, "really what I was looking for".


Exactly.


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I'd have to disagree with you also Vanessa. I very much require tribute and I am most definitely real. I really have sessions, I really get paid for them and I really do what I want in them. Plus, I can see My reflection in the mirror, so that makes Me real too. ;)

The ultimate truth of "real-ness" right there. Of course TNDommeK is "real". However, she is REALLY a pro-domme. If someone was looking for a pro-domme then she'd be the perfect gig. If someone was looking for a relationship then perhaps not so much. In my experience, "real" actually means, "really what I was looking for".



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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/25/2012 6:19:03 PM   
LadyAhmera


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I would like to add something here. I am a Pro Dom, that is what I do for my living. this is not about what I do for you, it is about what you do for Me. To weed out time wasting 'slaves' who just want a free ride from a Pro, we charge upfront tribute. I do have a website, but i usually don't give it out with the first hello.

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/25/2012 8:58:23 PM   
PeonForHer


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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAhmera

I would like to add something here. I am a Pro Dom, that is what I do for my living. this is not about what I do for you, it is about what you do for Me. To weed out time wasting 'slaves' who just want a free ride from a Pro, we charge upfront tribute. I do have a website, but i usually don't give it out with the first hello.


I don't mind about pros - I see the point, these days, good luck to all parties concerned and all that - but I have to say, that word 'tribute' still makes me chuckle. What's wrong with plain old 'deposit'?

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/25/2012 9:01:11 PM   
MissToYouRedux


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAhmera

I would like to add something here. I am a Pro Dom, that is what I do for my living. this is not about what I do for you, it is about what you do for Me. To weed out time wasting 'slaves' who just want a free ride from a Pro, we charge upfront tribute. I do have a website, but i usually don't give it out with the first hello.


I don't mind about pros - I see the point, these days, good luck to all parties concerned and all that - but I have to say, that word 'tribute' still makes me chuckle. What's wrong with plain old 'deposit'?


Don't forget the "non-refundable".

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 7:00:27 AM   
LadyAhmera


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Deposit is fine as well, or donate, but to say 'pay' calls up an image of a prostitute, and we are certainly not that.

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)
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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 11:03:32 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
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Agreed, I do require a deposit. I often read on the other side of these Dommes complaining that this sub or that sub was a no show. I just shake My head, a deposit is always required, and it is non refundable ;)

So by all means, be a no show, because your deposit is MINE!!! (evil laugh here) BWUHAHAHHAHAHHA!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 1:09:09 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

It's questionable whether a "professional dominatrix" is a "real" domme, particularly since they usually offer "services" whereas in reality the domme should be getting served, not giving service.




well.. hasn't taken you long to pick up the refrain that taking money for something means you're not real...

that's a load of shit.. my mechanic is real, my hair stylist is real, and every other service provider out there taking money is REAL... there are certainly, some, better than others... as with all things buyer beware... and be sure of what you want before you do buy...

basic human life lessons...

this 'not real' refrain is whiney, boring and childish


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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 1:42:09 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

LadyAhmera:
Deposit is fine as well, or donate, but to say 'pay' calls up an image of a prostitute, and we are certainly not that.


Businesses charge for their products and services, and state their fees clearly.  Customers pay said fees.  I see nothing wrong with the word *PAY* and almost everything wrong with alternatives that obfuscate the transaction.  It is because, in part, professional dominants use words like "tribute", "donation", and "gift", and put up lists of items they want (from Amazon.com, etc.) that they get a reputation as scammers.  Call it what it is.  "My fee is $300 an hour for domination sessions and is charged in one hour increments;  a $100 non-refundable deposit must be paid when booking."  That's clear and businesslike.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 3/26/2012 1:44:59 PM >

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 1:43:27 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
well.. hasn't taken you long to pick up the refrain that taking money for something means you're not real...

that's a load of shit.. my mechanic is real, my hair stylist is real, and every other service provider out there taking money is REAL... there are certainly, some, better than others... as with all things buyer beware... and be sure of what you want before you do buy...

basic human life lessons...

this 'not real' refrain is whiney, boring and childish



That's not the point I took from menowimp's post, M4A. For me, that point was that it can be difficult to feel that a 'real D/s relationship' exists if you happen to feel that a service is being provided for your, the client's, money - because anyone who provides a service is by definition a servant. I couldn't get past that feeling myself, actually. Sometimes, I wish I could - the occasional bit of NSA D/s fun wouldn't go amiss during those romantic lean-times!


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 1:47:03 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
Peon,

I've been meaning to return your "hello".  Therefore, hello back at ya!  Good to see you again.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 6:05:01 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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quote:

"My fee is $300 an hour for domination sessions and is charged in one hour increments; a $100 non-refundable deposit must be paid when booking." That's clear and businesslike.


^^^^THIS is real!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/26/2012 10:21:52 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newguy3149

So is there some secret way I dont know about to tell whether someone is fake or real? so far I've been message by several "dommes" that just want me to register to some site! and basically give them my credit card info?

Any advice is appreciated


Ya know what "Newguy", this is a fairly common question among new guys.

Good question....fortunately....I saw your post.

I'm here for you.

Yes, there is a secret "handshake" and I know what it is.

You can email me if you like....but I do get a LOT of emails regards this issue.

You can move up the que for 25 bucks.

When I see cash....you'll see some answers.

(in reply to newguy3149)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/27/2012 6:57:47 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

It is because, in part, professional dominants use words like "tribute", "donation", and "gift", and put up lists of items they want (from Amazon.com, etc.) that they get a reputation as scammers.  Call it what it is. "My fee is $300 an hour for domination sessions and is charged in one hour increments;  a $100 non-refundable deposit must be paid when booking."  That's clear and businesslike.


There's another issue at work. Words like "tribute", "donation", and "gift" make it sound optional (even though it's not). Whereas "fee" makes it sound like she's charging for the act. And that would put her on the wrong side of law enforcement in many parts of the world.

In fact, your suggested "businesslike" statement of "My fee is $300 an hour for domination sessions and is charged in one hour increments; a $100 non-refundable deposit must be paid when booking" would land the provider in jail. And all the prosecutor would have to do is print out your proposed ad, and that would be all that the judge would need to throw her in jail.

So perhaps the pro-Dommes aren't as dumb as you think. Maybe they just don't like spending time in rooms with bars on the windows.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 3/27/2012 7:00:42 AM >

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RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/27/2012 7:03:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip

there is a real nice dungon in atlanta called 1763 lots of play spaces and classes as well as havong rooms on site to use for the night if needed as well as atending the local groups

We are really going to have to talk about your typos.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How to find a real domme? - 3/27/2012 7:57:54 AM   
QueenRah


Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline
jj said: You can move up the queue for 25 bucks.

It's an odd word, I know. But, dass how iss spelt.

Rochsub said: Whereas "fee" makes it sound like she's charging for the act. And that would put her on the wrong side of law enforcement in many parts of the world.

'zackly.

LP said to LPslc: We are really going to have to talk about your typos.

*a peal of eeville laughter* Q: A whack a syllable, per mispeeled word? Oh! That lack of punctuation! grf!

QR




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Profile   Post #: 40
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