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ShadeDiva -> Ahhh chain letters! (4/1/2004 10:15:47 AM)
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This was evidently written by a guy since he's worried about estrogen turning him gay, but what the heck, it's funnier than hell!
To all my friends, thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003:
I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's capable of digesting the lining of my stomach within minutes.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place, and sometimes I even walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me, or worse.
I stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number, and then I would get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are made from horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I also donated all my savings to Amy Bruce and Jessica Mydek, two sick girls about to die in the hospital about 1,000 times. Funny thing is they've both been about 7 since 1993...
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for the paid vacation to Disneyland.
I'm nearly blind from waiting for the REALLY FUNNY, amazing what-ever-it-is to show up on my computer screen after sending the chain letters to "at least 11 people".
And I am positive that all of this is because of some stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow up on and received a curse. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????
IMPORTANT NOTE: Send this e-mail to at least 1000 people in the next 30 seconds, OR a large bird with diarrhea will crap on you today at exactly 7pm!
~ShadeDiva
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