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RE: the best way to ask - 3/26/2012 8:48:40 PM   
LoreBook


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

I am willing to adapt to her needs as well
That's mighty big of you.

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(in reply to shysoul18)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: the best way to ask - 3/26/2012 9:49:59 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Alright shysoul... Because somebody recently ask me if I was being prurient or poignaint in posing a recent question, (where did I leave that dictionary?) I am going to lace on my Whites and jump in with both feet. I will even treat you to a few bars of my outfit's version of "Blood Upon the Risers."

I have had pretty good success in meeting Dominant Women through CollarMe. Note that I said Dominant Women... Capital "D"... Capital "W"...! Here is what helps me.

If a Woman sparks your interest, read her profile thoroughly. Once you have done that, do it again. Look at her list of interests. You seem to be locked in to a couple of kinks; therefore, check out what she lists in her "Lives-For" and "Loves." If she lists either of them in those two categories, press on.

CollarMe is just a place to meet people who have mutual or complementary interests. The same rules apply here as any place else. The first step is to say hello. DO NOT open your correspondence with "Please sit on my face!" "Hello! My name is shysoul" works a lot better.

You read her profile carefully (twice). Surely something that she said in it will be worthy of thoughtful comment. Do so... thoughtfully. For example: "You mention that all males should be branded on the cheek. Were you referring to the face or buttocks?" Or perhaps: "I notice that you list "Chainsaw Operation and Maintenance" as a "Lives-For." I have trouble adjusting the low-speed-jet on my Husky. Do you have any tips?"

If you comment on her photo(s), avoid mentioning her anatomy! "Nice tits" just doesn't cut it. Try this: Your icon photo shows you wind surfing. That looks like a lot of fun!" See the diference?

You are trying to be evocative not provocative. DO NOT hit her with a Laundry List of kinks. She know that you have kinks... You're on CollarMe. By the way SPELLING, PUNCTUATION and GRAMMAR are of more than marginal value!

I am going to leave it at that. You will send out a lot of POLITE queries. A few Dominant Women will respond. Fewer still will suggest that you meet (in a public place).

Good Luck!
Mike
SnowRanger and Flyboy Extrordinaire

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(in reply to shysoul18)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: the best way to ask - 3/26/2012 10:25:19 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenRah

And fix your profile! JEEEbus! Wow. Can't read the text "bio" portion because of the weird background you chose. In it, you should write more about who you are and what makes you tick - not just (and not mostly) the kink.

Good luck, kid.

Sheesh. Did y'all see he's in San Fran? And he can't get any action? Well...it may be action from some other gender. But, I'm just sayin'.


Potty mouth.

(in reply to QueenRah)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: the best way to ask - 3/26/2012 11:48:39 PM   
shysoul18


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/26/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Good Luck!
Mike
SnowRanger and Flyboy Extrordinaire


Thanks for your input snow... Your advice seems rather helpful and well put.

I will keep what you said in mind and pray for the best but it is always good to take things slow. I am glad you have had success in your finds and wish you luck as well buddy!

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: the best way to ask - 3/26/2012 11:55:49 PM   
shysoul18


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/26/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Pretty much, Kalik. And what was that bit about vanilla women being whores?


as darksteven said I did forget the if in my sentence to clarify things.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 5:02:23 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		OK, I see you got put through the paces.  There's some good stuff sprinkled in there, too, so try to take that stuff to heart. 

San Fransisco is an awesome city.  I've only been there just the once, but it was for one of the biggest events on the planet.  There are definitely kinky people in that town.  Getting out there to meet some of them would be a great idea for you.

As for the rest, like Rochsub said, don't lead with your junk.  (I loved that expression, btw.)  Kinky people aren't necessarily different than non kinky people and might not want the first words out of your mouth during a conversation to be about your desire to give oral in a certain position. 


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(in reply to shysoul18)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 6:12:42 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Thank you, Mike, for the not-work-appropriate earworm.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 6:47:13 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: shysoul18

They are willing to facesit but It seems like they do it to satisfy you, rather then for both needs.



Then you're not doing it right. Getting vanilla girls to WANT to sit on your face is about as hard as convincing fish to swim.



Sidenote: This isn't very accurate in some circles. I've had a lot of vanilla female friends who aren't really into getting oral at all - let alone face sitting, either they've never found it attractive because they never received GOOD oral, or they have other concerns and issues with it.


ProlificNeeds,
I was just making a generalization. But as with any activity, there are going to be some who like it and some who don't. So I agree with you.

My point was actually that oral sex isn't all that kinky to me. In fact, it's pretty vanilla. I can't think of a single vanilla relationship that I've been in that didn't involve lots of (male on female) oral sex. So I never understand why guys come on CollarMe offering oral sex as though it's the fricking Holy Grail of kink.

Even if she's sitting on your face, it's just another form of oral sex. Lot's of vanilla folks do that. So why do guys even consider it "kinky"? Yet, we've all seen the profiles of "submissive" males who define their submission as offering oral sex to any random woman who will allow him between her legs.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 3/27/2012 6:48:49 AM >

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 8:11:36 AM   
QueenRah


Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Nonsense. I'd soon straighten them out. Takes a British tongue, you know.



Yes. I'll vouch for the superiority of the British tongue. It's the accent.

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(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 9:46:33 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Facesitting is more about smothering, for me. Really fun smothering.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 9:59:39 AM   
shysoul18


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/26/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Facesitting is more about smothering, for me. Really fun smothering.



Ahh you beat me to it saying that! Yeah Facesitting is about smothering more then oral sex. If it was just oral sex it would be called oral sex. Some people get this confused though.

Ladyhibiscus it seems like the majority of people prefer a light smother rather then fullweight. Do you think asking for fullweight is too much?

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 10:00:25 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		ridiculous.
quote:

ORIGINAL: shysoul18
I never approached a vanilla women as they are a whore.



< Message edited by Missokyst -- 3/27/2012 10:02:51 AM >

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
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(in reply to shysoul18)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 10:09:50 AM   
shysoul18


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/26/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

ridiculous.
quote:

ORIGINAL: shysoul18
I never approached a vanilla women as they are a whore.



s

you are not the first to think this. This has been corrected, (The *if* was missing infront of they) as 2 other people already mentioned

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 11:14:27 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Dude. If want to ASK for something from a dominant woman as if you were ordering from a menu, either hire an escort, or find some nice woman who likes to do service topping (ie find a girlfriend). If you've never done a thing, don't ask for the most extreme version of it mmmkay? Not everyone is scrupulous, not everyone cares about little things like safety.



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(in reply to shysoul18)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 11:47:59 AM   
shysoul18


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/26/2012
Status: offline 		I was not asking you to do anything other then a opinion. I was just making sure that not everyone feels the same about the safety factor which is a good thing. so thanks for that bit

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 12:02:35 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shysoul18

I was not asking you to do anything other then a opinion. I was just making sure that not everyone feels the same about the safety factor which is a good thing. so thanks for that bit


I know you weren't asking me specifically, it's cool. Still, the shortest way to getting dropped by a femdom is giving HER directions. We get extra cranky, and hey! we're pretty vinegary to start with.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 12:13:53 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shysoul18

I was not asking you to do anything other then a opinion. I was just making sure that not everyone feels the same about the safety factor which is a good thing. so thanks for that bit


You kind of don't get it. You keep coming back to certain sexual activities as though this is how you approach women. If you haven't noticed, women aren't the same as men. They don't tend to have things, or activities that mean more to them than the person that they are with like men do. Therefore you're at a disadvantage with approaching women constantly from the activity angle. You should have caught on by now that it doesn't work to keep asking about activities, you keep persisting with it though. Asking for personal opinions on kink from a woman isn't going to get you far and it makes you look like a creep.

As a woman, it gets tiring to be asked constantly to provide service to some guy even if it's in the form of information. It's a dehumanizing thing to keep being looked at as the kink purveyor to others as though you were a food menu. Get a clue here, people have been fairly nice and welcoming and have steered you in the right direction and you seem not to understand what they are telling you. No one is ever going to care about what you like for sex/kink until they care about you, that's the best advice I can give you. It doesn't help that you are in the majority here...submissive guys are a dime a dozen as are guys in general. It also doesn't work for you to not offer anything that makes you stand out or seem like a worthwhile person to know, if all you ever want to know is if your kinky desires can be fulfilled, no woman will ever give you the time of day. Become an interesting person with a different game plan and it might change.

(in reply to shysoul18)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 12:14:19 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Vinegary, lol nice!

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 12:17:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Vinegary, lol nice!


Got that from my Darling. It fits, I think. Red wine vinegar. mmmm

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: the best way to ask - 3/27/2012 3:59:41 PM   
shysoul18


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/26/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: shysoul18

I was not asking you to do anything other then a opinion. I was just making sure that not everyone feels the same about the safety factor which is a good thing. so thanks for that bit


I know you weren't asking me specifically, it's cool. Still, the shortest way to getting dropped by a femdom is giving HER directions. We get extra cranky, and hey! we're pretty vinegary to start with.



Thanks for being cool about it. I swear I would have not said anything if it wasn't the ask thread but thats only a one time excuse I promise :)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 40
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