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Rochsub2009 -> RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant (4/2/2012 10:28:00 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sklavo87
Ive messaged quite a few Dommes who I felt I was compatible with to introduce myself and a majority of the time, I dont get a response back... Is it against kink protocol to send an introductory message/photo to without asking permission? If so, how do you go about asking permission?
Asking for permission to write to someone is rather silly. After all, why ask for permission if you've already written without permission in order to ask for permission? If you can't write to them without permission, then how are you supposed to get permission in the first place? Geez, my head is starting to hurt just thinking about that.
Here's a little tip for you. If you send a respectful message to someone and they don't respond back, just move on. There's no need to question why they didn't respond, or to send them follow-up messages asking for a response (they probably won't respond, just like they didn't respond to your original message).
It kinda sucks for us male subs on CM. We outnumber the Dommes by like 1 billion-to-1, so the odds of you finding someone on here are pretty slim. But that doesn't mean that it can't happen. But understand that the odds are against you.
Also, remember that this is the internet. So you have lots of flakes, fakes, and guys pretending to be girls. So is it really so bad that you didn't get a response from that girl who was really a guy pretending to be a girl? [;)]
Different people are going to have different protocols. Most of the lifestyle folks are more casual about things. They typically don't want you to call them "Mistress" or "Master" until there is an actual dynamic in place between the two of you. That's why you will seldom be asked to call a total stranger "Mistress" at a munch or play party. But I've noticed that many of the pro-Dommes and "on-line only" folks seem to think that forcing complete strangers to call them "Mistress" in the first communication is a show of power. Personally, I see it as more a show of pompousness, but to each his own.
So if you want on-line domination, cam sessions, or paid sessions, then you may have to be prepared to call them "Divine Mistress Goddess Queen" in your very first conversation. But if you plan to meet someone locally, or if you begin a dialogue with a "lifestyle Domme", things will usually be a bit more relaxed. However, she'll probably start introducing protocols once she starts feeling "chemistry" with you.
Personally, I hate the term "proper protocol" because it implies that there's only one protocol. But I've been at this for almost 20 years, and every Domme that I've ever served had a different protocol. So how are you supposed to know what a specific Domme's protocol is until she explains it to you? Some Dommes will prefer being addressed by a title, while others may prefer that you just call them by their first name. Some will require you to say "Yes Ma'am", and others won't. Some will require you to kiss their feet/ass/hand as a standard greeting, and some will prefer a simple "hello".
Bottom line: Just be friendly and respectful. Treat any woman that you write to like a lady. If you wouldn't say it in an initial face-to-face meeting, then don't say it in an initial e-mail. Try to be engaging and let your personality shine through. Just like in the vanilla world, every woman that you approach isn't going to like you (unless you're a billionaire who looks like Brad Pitt). But if you keep it up, you'll eventually find the Domme that you're looking for.
Good luck in your search.
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