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Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a relationship?


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Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a relati... - 4/10/2012 4:16:09 PM   
Karmastic


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Sorry if this is an ignorant question! I really am clueless in this area (well, many areas).

When you're in a marriage, LTR, FWB (or whatever) with a person, do you consistently play the dom/top or sub/bottom, or do you switch depending on the mood, or cycles, or what? I really want to learn more. The concept of switching is fascinating, thanks in advance for sharing your take on it.
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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 4/11/2012 7:06:58 AM   
ProlificNeeds


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Depends entirely on the chemistry between me and my partner, sometimes I am always submissive, sometimes we switch, sometimes it's just vanilla. Each relationship has it's own unique formula, depending on what I want and what my partner wants.

I do find my orientation to be on the submissive side more than the dominant side though when it comes to what perks my sexual interest, so I am never seeking a relationship where I would be expected to be dominant all the time, I would be seriously unhappy.

(in reply to Karmastic)
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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 4/12/2012 1:03:36 PM   
Karmastic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

Depends entirely on the chemistry between me and my partner, sometimes I am always submissive, sometimes we switch, sometimes it's just vanilla. Each relationship has it's own unique formula, depending on what I want and what my partner wants.

I do find my orientation to be on the submissive side more than the dominant side though when it comes to what perks my sexual interest, so I am never seeking a relationship where I would be expected to be dominant all the time, I would be seriously unhappy.

Thank you. I wasn't even sure if people switch within the same relationship, I'm sure it's different for every1.

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 4/12/2012 1:11:54 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


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I am of the opinion there are two kinds of switches, if you will. Those we tend to change roles within a given relationship, and those (like myself) who do not.

My primary partner is my dom, my secondary is my sub, nobody changes roles. I've been doing this for over 30 years now, I've never switched roles within a relationship, so I don't think I'm wired that way.

I'm one or the other, depending on who I am with.

However, I know some delightful switch couples (or poly families) who change roles at will. It's cool to watch the synergy.

There are people who say switches don't exist, we are merely confused people who need to decide. They are wrong. We do exist.

I admit, we can be difficult for those who are firmly wired one way or the other to understand.

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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 4/12/2012 1:49:56 PM   
ProlificNeeds


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There are THREE kinds of switches.

Those who can count, and those who can't...............


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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 4/22/2012 1:51:57 PM   
CojitoRojo


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I have had both types of relationships, one role or the other and switching as it fit. I agree that it depends on the chemistry of the relationships.

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 5/2/2012 11:40:04 PM   
DreadPirateSyrin


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I, like CojitoRojo, have had both types of relationships. It entirely depends on the enegry I have with the person.

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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 5/6/2012 4:49:01 AM   
Gerry241


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I sometimes find it difficult to switch. You're Dom wants to come over for the weekend, instruct you on how to cook and clean house with some very painful spankings in between, hot sex and then she wants to be disciplined. This is all within three hours.

Pre planning, might be a good idea, but not always. If your partner wants to quickly switch make him or her stand nude in the corner (keep half an eye on them they like to touch themselves often,) while you compose yourself. Subs are in many respects high maintenence and you don't want to hurt them emotionally or physically.

Respect, respect yourself and your lover.

(in reply to DreadPirateSyrin)
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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 5/6/2012 7:36:33 AM   
ConnossuerofPain


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My Pet(who has been my slave for 7 years) is now extremely Dominant over others(something we discussed when she had these feelings) I started training her to be Dominant and that meant allowing her to practice on myself(better me than someone else). I have no problem every once in a while allowing the girls there turn at giving as a special treat, but it all has to do with the dynamics I have set within the House.

(in reply to Gerry241)
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RE: Is it more common to alternate or fix roles in a re... - 5/20/2012 3:48:49 AM   
TLovee


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For me it depends on the person. With my ex, I will only ever sub for him. Me dominating him sounds incredibly ridiculous in either of our heads. The opposite goes with my slave. He will never dominate me. But with my girlfriend, we tend to do a little of both. It's very nice to alternate as well.

(in reply to ConnossuerofPain)
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