how to make switching work

how to make switching work (Full Version)

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enigmabrat -> how to make switching work (6/5/2006 1:28:21 AM)
Me and my best friend are both switches we try and play together but we are both much more submissive then Domanent and we both struggle to please the other one because we both want to sub at the same time. I really think that we could be more to eachother if we could find out how to be what the other needed. but I cant ever seem to be Domme enough for him or him for me. I really love him but I cant be with someone that isnt Domanent enough im not sure what to do exept keep looking and just stay friends

BiteGirl -> RE: how to make switching work (6/5/2006 6:14:55 AM)
You could try watching other domme women, and see what they do...

Lashra -> RE: how to make switching work (6/5/2006 7:09:06 AM)
Have you tried roleplaying? I was thinking perhaps something like a prisoner interrogation scene where one partner gets really into the mean/demanding/humiliating aspect and the other into the "please don't hurt me I'm innocent" begging/pleading headspace? I don't know if it will help but it might. Also have you thought about a threesome with a Domme? [:D] It might be alot of fun and a learning experience for you both. ~Lashra

enigmabrat -> RE: how to make switching work (6/5/2006 8:04:17 AM)
::grins:: Iv thought about the Domme Dom thing haveing a thrid person come in.. its not so easy to find

Lashra -> RE: how to make switching work (6/5/2006 8:23:09 AM)
Yeah I hear you on that one we are looking for a sub female to play with and so far no luck. They are interested in me but not him heh. But I am the ever optimist that one day it will happen and so should you be. [:D] Psssst try the roleplaying Im telling joo its fun! ~Lashra

enigmabrat -> RE: how to make switching work (6/5/2006 9:07:18 AM)
::grins:: roleplay is good but I dont know if he'll ever be what I need prolly not, so I look on

Lacaena -> RE: how to make switching work (6/5/2006 9:13:48 AM)
Have you thought about having each of you drawing up a sort of script or scene plan? That way you know what you want to do next and you don't feel at a loss as to what to do, and you can take as much time to think about it before hand. If you both do this before you top eachother you might both have an easier time topping and a more fun time bottoming. But my honest opinion is this. Until you find a top with passion, a spark in thier eyes, letting you know that they love what they are doing, you won't be as happy as you could be. Good Luck Lacaena

LaMalinche -> RE: how to make switching work (6/5/2006 10:24:58 AM)
The list thing is a great idea. . . so is the roleplay. . . especially if at least one of you is a good story teller. All those years ago, I never thought that D&D skills would come into my sex and play life. . . but when it did . . . whoo-hoo. To add to the list idea. . . yep jumping on the list bandwagon. . . Perhaps you both can make up lists of the areas that you like to be dominated in and the areas that you like to be submissive in and then compare and where they compliment each other, those are the areas you can stick to.

enigmabrat -> RE: how to make switching work (6/7/2006 11:10:21 PM)
yes.. thanks.. May I ask this though, should the fact that we are both submissive make THAT much a difference if there is love there?

LaMalinche -> RE: how to make switching work (6/8/2006 2:05:41 AM)
If you both really want to make it work than you will find a way. As Tina Turner said: "What's Love Got to do with it?"

champagnewishes -> RE: how to make switching work (6/8/2006 12:23:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaMalinche If you both really want to make it work than you will find a way. As Tina Turner said: "What's Love Got to do with it?" Oh nice pull on the quote! Don't get so hung up on the labels...the fact that your both submissive doesn't mean that you can't play and be satisfied. You both need to live outside your own box a little...explore...discover...push your own submissive limits into doing something you ordinarily wouldn't do. Rise to the occasion!

theRose4U -> RE: how to make switching work (6/8/2006 8:46:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat yes.. thanks.. May I ask this though, should the fact that we are both submissive make THAT much a difference if there is love there? There is such a thing as a sub couple and some that seek them out. Though as you're realizing it's kind of a needle in a haystack.

Level -> RE: how to make switching work (6/9/2006 2:53:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat yes.. thanks.. May I ask this though, should the fact that we are both submissive make THAT much a difference if there is love there? Only two people can answer that; you and him.

SwPuno -> RE: how to make switching work (6/9/2006 6:18:05 AM)
You might also try thinking about this a different way. Maybe make it a competitive thing to see who can do the best topping and as you get better it will raise your game plus the other will most likely be more satisfied and you can continue to see if you can, er, "top the top". Another way to go about it might be to try to demonstrate what it is you would like to experience or feel from a top when you top. Then you could sort of demonstrate what you would like in terms of attitudes, intensity, etc. as a different way of communicating it. Of course if you both have different styles that you are looking for it might not help the other person at first but once you learn what the other person is seeking and can do that you'll both be happier. Hang in there, and best of luck.

shadevarr -> RE: how to make switching work (7/3/2006 2:12:24 AM)
It really boils down to communication. Find out what triggers your sub and Dom sides, keeping a journal has been useful for me to discover how to tap those aspects and with practice it becomes seamless. I can transition in about 5 minutes and get right back in the fun.

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