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Financial Control - 4/24/2012 10:23:58 AM   
chrisvirginslave


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/18/2012
Status: offline 		Ok a serious question, do you believe as a mistress you should have financial control over your slave, if so how much and if entirely under you control would you use it sensibly for both your future or just to treat yourself
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RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 10:34:08 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I find these series of questions rather interesting, in one of those raised eye brow sort of ways and an ironic smile.

If I am a mistress... that means I am involved. It isn't just a title that anyone may use with me. As mistress, I call most all the shots in my household. That includes money and not in a kinky sort of fetish way. Will I be wise with the money decisions and provide for him? Well... isn't it common sense to watch over my household and all in it and do the best I can with it? Once again, it isn't just a title.

Why confuse issues, people, relationships and kinky displays of all sorts of things? We don't need little boxes to fit into and one size doesn't fit all. I ask a lot of questions... how is one to learn... but in asking those questions it is easy to reveal a bit about ourselves and how we think or don't.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 11:26:50 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chrisvirginslave

Ok a serious question, do you believe as a mistress you should have financial control over your slave, if so how much and if entirely under you control would you use it sensibly for both your future or just to treat yourself


Mine means mine. A potential slave had better learn an awful lot about me and how I manage 'mine' before wanting to be 'mine'.

As for your bit about sensibly versus selfishly, I refer back to my previous sentence.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 12:51:17 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Everything LaT just said. EVERYTHING!

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Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 12:54:23 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chrisvirginslave

Ok a serious question, do you believe as a mistress you should have financial control over your slave, if so how much and if entirely under you control would you use it sensibly for both your future or just to treat yourself



Depends on the relationship, for me.

Some I take no control or interest in their finances.

On the other end of things, I run almost everything in my and Chael's relationship... As I said elsewhere today, he gifts me object gifts (flowers, earrings, special foods, things like that), a monthly monetary gift, I handle the taxes, how much and what bills we share, how much we both put into a joint account to pay them and do the payments myself, on my directing him he is buying a new truck tonight for himself, he runs by me how much he's going to spend on large things, things like that. I'm in charge of all the money except what he is able to keep to use freely and pay his own (unshared) bills. For a good few years I handled all the money and he was able to spend what I allowed on minor costs, but I found that a pain so I changed how our paychecks are divvied up.

Some are in-between.... object gifts, monetary gifts, shopping trips, shared cost of toys, whatever. It just depends on what we both want out of the relationship and what I enjoy.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

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RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 12:55:13 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chrisvirginslave

Ok a serious question, do you believe as a mistress you should have financial control over your slave, if so how much and if entirely under you control would you use it sensibly for both your future or just to treat yourself


Slaves (as opposed to submissive partners) own nothing unless I permit it. If the slave has a career outside the house, which I encourage, then the money earned is put into a bank account, preferably one that earns interest, with the slave's name on it but which is controlled by me. Spending money on simple things like food, toiletries or gas for the car doesn't require my prior permission. Major purchases such as replacing a worn-out computer or car repairs and frivolities such as a new phone or music for the MP3 player must be cleared with me first. The balance goes toward necessary items such as paying bills or is saved for the future.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 1:41:29 PM   
ekaienoae


Posts: 29
Joined: 5/1/2011
From: Louisiana
Status: offline
quote:


ORIGINAL: SylvereAPLeanan
The balance goes toward necessary items such as paying bills or is saved for the future.

Do you contribute to subs retirement plan? Does your sub accumulate savings that he would own if relationship dissolved?

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RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 2:14:44 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ekaienoae

quote:


ORIGINAL: SylvereAPLeanan
The balance goes toward necessary items such as paying bills or is saved for the future.

Do you contribute to subs retirement plan? Does your sub accumulate savings that he would own if relationship dissolved?


I think you need to go and re-read her post.

Especially this part...

If the slave has a career outside the house, which I encourage, then the money earned is put into a bank account, preferably one that earns interest, with the slave's name on it but which is controlled by me.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ekaienoae)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 3:10:14 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Similar to Sylvere, the money stays theirs but its use is entirely controlled by me, except I do control the small things like food, gas and toiletries.
There are "ration days" where you come with me to the shops and get stocked up on food and toiletries. If you miss it, too bad.
The gas on the car doesn't get topped up without me so if you haven't been watching the tank and run out of gas, too bad.
I put a certain amount of responsibility in, making sure that "ration days" are reasonably spaced and attendable, that I'm watching the gas tank when I've used it, making sure that there are options available for the slave (there'll always be buspasses and canned soup available), and I expect my slaves to meet me there.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 3:38:11 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ekaienoae

quote:


ORIGINAL: SylvereAPLeanan
The balance goes toward necessary items such as paying bills or is saved for the future.

Do you contribute to subs retirement plan? Does your sub accumulate savings that he would own if relationship dissolved?


Currently, I don't have a slave, I have submissive partners, so this is a moot point. Also, as LaTigresse pointed out, I've already answered your question. However, I will elaborate for clarity.

If/when I take on another slave, then the answer to your first question depends on whether or not there is a retirement plan available through the slave's employer. If so, then I would encourage the maximum allowable contribution each pay period. Since those funds are typically deducted pre-tax, this has no bearing on the bank account I mentioned. The same goes for deductions to pay for health insurance. If there is no retirement plan/insurance provided by the employer, then I'd encourage my slave to research options for both of those and we would decide together what is in the slave's best interests. Money from the bank account goes toward those things along with any other bills to be paid.

As for your second question, the slave's name is on the bank account for just this reason. If the relationship dissolves, any money owed for bills is deducted and the rest belongs to the slave, including any interest earned.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to ekaienoae)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 8:24:54 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Agreeing with the other ladies. Control the money, direct the money, but i wouldnt have my name on a slave's account unless we were married.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Financial Control - 4/24/2012 8:59:28 PM   
subbyinlosangele


Posts: 117
Joined: 1/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chrisvirginslave

Ok a serious question, do you believe as a mistress you should have financial control over your slave, if so how much and if entirely under you control would you use it sensibly for both your future or just to treat yourself



You're really young, so even though I am neither a mistress or a slave I'll chime in with my two cents worth.

If you want to hire the services of a professional domme, that's one thing and it's your business. In that case, in my view, it's like purchasing any other service -- find out upfront what the cost is for the service and decide if it's what you want to buy. In my view, anytime a domme requires you to pay her to be in her company -- and I don't care whether the payment is called a fee, a tribute, or a gift -- then you are purchasing a service. The key word there is requires. If you choose to give her a gift that's fine, like any other relationship. If it's a requirement, it's not a gift -- it's a fee.

If you are talking about a personal, or lifestyle relationship, I would be extremely wary if financial matters were brought up. Personally, I wouldn't give anyone else control of my finances. And I think anyone who does this -- especially if they don't know the person very intimately (and I think we're talking years into an exclusive relationship) is setting themselves up to be taken.

I am a lot of older than you, and based on my experience, trust has to be earned. And it shouldn't be awarded easily or quickly.

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RE: Financial Control - 4/25/2012 4:22:29 PM   
DommesLesEnigma


Posts: 108
Joined: 2/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Agreeing with the other ladies. Control the money, direct the money, but i wouldnt have my name on a slave's account unless we were married.


I agree as well, as long as it is done responsibly. In the case that the relationship dissolves the slave will not be set out penniless. That to me would be heartless.

_____________________________

There are many people that have found their way. The great ones are those that help others find their way.

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RE: Financial Control - 4/25/2012 11:31:01 PM   
another1harder


Posts: 112
Joined: 3/11/2012
Status: offline 		Not slamming anybody, but my ex was a gambler. Cannot assume the financial slave has full faculties to determine their own responsibilities.

_____________________________

Masochist: Are you going to whip me?
Sadist: Maybe.

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Profile   Post #: 14
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