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RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/28/2012 1:52:34 AM   
petitverdot


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		Basically it's pointless for people to say they want a REAL DOM or a REAL SLAVE.....it is all open for interpretation.....I have found that most men on this (and other) sites don't suit me, that doesnt mean that they are less dominant, it just means that they don't suit ME.
Everyone had their own idea of what they are looking for and it's just a matter of finding someone else who we click with.
I'm not sure I agree that it's 'rare' to find another with the same 'needs' (mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold)..it's a matter of being open minded and willing to to not be rigid in one's ways.

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/28/2012 4:15:39 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		There is no such thing as a "true anything". Just someone you click with or not. Chat a little , see how it goes , make some friends and if it doesn't workout, move on.

I don't have a problem saying I am dominant to the right person. I am not the type to brag about things or walk around with a leather vest with badges everywhere, a flogger on one side , a whip on the other. If a submissive is interested in that , she is probably not my type anyway.. It makes things simpler and weed out the bad.

I also think people ( like on okcupid , or other dating websites) fill out the profile to get the most responses (cast a bigger net) instead of being honest about who they are and only getting a few emails ( but most likely better ones).

By filling out very "pleasing profiles" people will generally have more b/s emails and thus more "you aren't a true this or that" and "I am a true this or that" kinda post.
Just my 2 cents

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/28/2012 4:29:58 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Using FR, so not replying to anyone in particular.

Putting aside this boards long term bias of the terms "real" and "true", I think when the less than experienced use these terms they do have meaning, for them. Sure, that meaning my vary, but frankly I can't imagine what it must be like to be a person with little experience with BDSM faced with all the many choices out there on the net and forced to decide for themselves what is real and true.

What with all the players, predators, scammers, wannabes, and just plain confused individuals who don't know what they want, it has to be quite the quagmire.

So although I see using these phrases as a sign of confusion and inexperience, I try to understand where it comes from.



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(in reply to Buzzzz)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/28/2012 11:04:46 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		I think too many people work too hard at the mental persona's of these titles vs. simply being themselves...and this is what gets people into trouble.

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(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/28/2012 11:09:58 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Buzzzz
I also think people ( like on okcupid , or other dating websites) fill out the profile to get the most responses (cast a bigger net) instead of being honest about who they are and only getting a few emails ( but most likely better ones).

That is the one aspect of "true-ness" that I can get behind. Who knows if I'm a true dom or true master or whatever? But I am a "true Jeff" and I try to portray myself and my marriage as accurately as I can given the limitations of text. I wouldn't call someone who doesn't do that a "fake". I'd call them a liar.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Buzzzz)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/28/2012 11:25:17 AM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline 		Being true to oneself is always the best policy.

And in different forms that's been said from the Oracle of Delphi, to Shakespeare, hell to Mr. Miagi (Never put passion above principle, even if win... you lose.)

Too bad so few actually take it to heart.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 2:27:04 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		I can see where someone might post "true Doms only please" in frustration after receiving the 50th (or 500th) scam mail.

My sense of mischief also leads me to:

aurum caminus = latin for hearth of gold - leads to (in MY mind) gold = the real deal = not fake = true.... make of that (non)sense what you will. Be happy.

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 4:43:18 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		If you have a problem with scam emails, reduce your email settings to "local only". I believe you can also chose the distance from your zip code. All fixed, and no more drama/ less fakes.

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 6:29:29 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks Buzzz. Already done: I don't myself have that problem, but I gather it's rife, and that's one reason I can see someone posting, in effect, "fed up of this...."

(in reply to Buzzzz)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 3:00:15 PM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

I can see where someone might post "true Doms only please" in frustration after receiving the 50th (or 500th) scam mail.

My sense of mischief also leads me to:

aurum caminus = latin for hearth of gold - leads to (in MY mind) gold = the real deal = not fake = true.... make of that (non)sense what you will. Be happy.


Lol, of course caminus is a Forge fire, not a hearth fire.

So a little more accurate would be Goldsmith, or Goldmaker.

But that comes more from my interest in Alchemy. ;-)

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 3:05:27 PM   
fetisheden


Posts: 274
Joined: 1/25/2011
Status: offline 		any sort of negativity is a turn off.

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(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 3:11:01 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		NO it isn't!

(in reply to fetisheden)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 3:45:30 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominicsJoy

Truth is fluid. In past eras everyone knew it was true that the world was flat.


Apparently, they didn't. That was made up by a pisspoor 'historian' called Andrew White in the early 20th century. Just saying.

However, I think you're correct to say that 'truth is fluid'. The problem is that it's not very comforting to believe that. For many people, it's profoundly disturbing to discover that they are perverts. They feel the need to re-stabilise themselves by cooking up a bunch of beliefs that what they are is perfectly OK, normal and morally acceptable. They will therefore leap for words like 'true' and 'natural' at every possible opportunity, because they're too stupid and/or lack the bollocks to work their way through to being the individuals that their souls are forcing them to be.



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http://www.domme-chronicles.com


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 4:52:26 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petitverdot
(mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold).


Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to petitverdot)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 8:56:56 PM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: petitverdot
(mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold).


Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite.



To which 5,000 guys say, "And exactly where are these real life place?"

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 9:03:32 PM   
subbyinlosangele


Posts: 117
Joined: 1/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: petitverdot
(mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold).


Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite.




My view on that: I don't care if there are 5 men to every woman or whatever the overall stats are. If I worried about the odds of the overall stats, I wouldn't have attemtped or accomplished most of the significant things I have done in my life. There is only one me. Any domme I choose to be with is lucky tp get me. And any domme I want to be with I am lucky to get.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 11:43:41 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite.



To which 5,000 guys say, "And exactly where are these real life place?"

Ah, but the real question is, do those 5,000 guys really know the breakdown in gender/orientation/relationship status of others at their local BDSM munch group?

Frankly, most don't.  In larger cities, it can take a while to get used to who is who, etc.  I've been everything from the only female Dominant in the room (all of the other females were switches or subs) to being one of hundreds at a major event.  Many guys wouldn't know the same kind of stats if it would cost them their left nut.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/29/2012 11:56:07 PM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ah, but the real question is, do those 5,000 guys really know the breakdown in gender/orientation/relationship status of others at their local BDSM munch group?

Frankly, most don't.  In larger cities, it can take a while to get used to who is who, etc.  I've been everything from the only female Dominant in the room (all of the other females were switches or subs) to being one of hundreds at a major event.  Many guys wouldn't know the same kind of stats if it would cost them their left nut.



*shrug* Doesn't really matter, they'd still come.

Of course, I've heard of a few groups like that here. But they accomplish it by having a strict, "Single males unwelcome," policy.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/30/2012 1:58:51 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus
*shrug* Doesn't really matter, they'd still come.

Of course, I've heard of a few groups like that here. But they accomplish it by having a strict, "Single males unwelcome," policy.

Are you looking at swingers groups or BDSM munches? 

Swingers groups, I'd agree with you.  BDSM groups, not so much.  Some of that can depend on your topping skills.  If you are the only guy who is doing rope suspensions, electrical play, fire, or some other specific type of play that nobody is doing in the area, there are going to be people who are more than happy that you've shown up.

Considering the location you are listing as your city, I'm sure there are a number of groups in the area.  I'd find it hard to believe that all of them are turning single guys away at the door.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/30/2012 2:30:57 AM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline 		Of course there are.

But the only ones that I have even heard of that have a significantly higher female/male ratio do have that policy.


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 60
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