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marriedave -> hi, I guess I am here looking for advice. (5/6/2012 2:36:38 AM)
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This is pretty scary.
No, it's really, really scary.
Seriously, I haven't ever done this before, and it could cause folks that I love deeply to be hideously hurt if I did this wrong.
I am a married guy, who, for reasons that aren't anybody's business, strays about once a year. It's a medical reason (cancer), and my wife knows about my cheating. She doesn't want to hear about it, however, and I CERTAINLY don't want our peers to know about it. My sweetie doesn't want to talk about it either. It's just that sometimes I go out to get what she can no longer give me.
Once a year, for a week or two, I have a lover.
Until a few years ago, I didn't actually realize that she needed to be dominated. The sex was good, and we always had a great time. I even took her boy (not my kid) to baseball games, and he calls me "Uncle Dave." The deal has been that if she finds a man to keep, then she will drop me (with my blessings), but, until then, we are once a year lovers, and I overdo it with the Christmas gifts to the "Street Urchin" (her boy).
I have known for a long time that her kink is such that if I grab her shoulders and push her into a wall, in a particular way, she gets super, super turned on. Last year, we sat down and had a long talk.
Please understand. She and I have been trysting since before I married, twenty years ago, and it took her a long time to open up to me.
But she is a classic submissive, with a few of what I consider unusual specific triggers. She has trusted a few guys (and girls) in the past, and she has never been happy with the outcome.
She does, however, trust me, and I really don't want to hurt her (emotionally or socially, she kind of likes the belt).
I want to do right by her.
I think it would be a good thing for me to find people who have the same kinks, and talk about what to do, and what not to do.
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