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humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a new sub - 5/6/2012 9:44:43 AM

subm19

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Looking at starting a D/S relationship with an older sub woman who has no experience. Any suggestions of ways to humiliate or punish her? and any bondage equipment that I might not have thought of

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/6/2012 11:22:45 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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How are we supposed to know what you have and haven't thought of?

If I were the sub in question, I'd much rather we talked about what we liked the idea of and tried things together bit by bit, than you coming in with a list. If she's new to it neither of you know what will and won't work for you as a couple. And if you don't know yet, how on earth can internet strangers know?

'Punishment' is a bit of a hot topic here at the best of times, and every few days there are new threads looking for ideas. How about you wait and see if she ever even earns a punishment? I'd be upset if I thought my master was out looking for ideas for crimes I hadn't yet committed. Your question is too vague to get helpful answers, and I'm sure your sub wants things you have thought up, not people who have never spoken to her. I have no idea what she would find humiliating - that's your job to find out.

I don't mean to be harsh, but I'm sure others will come along and be much harsher.

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/6/2012 11:43:24 AM

BurntKitty

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Here's my reply from the cross-posted thread.

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/6/2012 12:07:29 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subm19

Looking at starting a D/S relationship with an older sub woman who has no experience.
Any suggestions of ways to humiliate or punish her? and any bondage equipment that I
might not have thought of

Humiliation and punishment are pretty strong words to use in a relationship that hasn't even
formed yet. I'd suggest first that both of you discuss this so you are on the same page as far
as what this will consist of.

I would also advise that you discuss clear and concise expectations of her, and offer her a chance
to succeed at them, instead of worrying about the need for punishment should she fail.

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/6/2012 1:35:41 PM

JanahX

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there are a ton of older threads that address this same question.

It never fails to amaze me that someone who wants to be the dominant in the relationship has no idea what to do.

Especially when it comes to what they want to do with their sub ... and discuss it with a group of strangers instead of the sub his/herself.

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/6/2012 2:18:13 PM

DarkSteven

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I already gave the question you REALLy meant. And answered it too.

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/7/2012 10:45:48 AM

kalikshama

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Bah, that thread's been sandboxed >_<

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/7/2012 4:02:18 PM

amaidiamond

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From: Watford / London
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Ok before I even ATTEMPT to answer,

Do you mean Punishment (When a sub/slave has done genuine wrong, behaviour correction)
Or Funishment (Spanking/paddling etc as part of play and fun ie "ooooh you naughty slut in that short skirt, bend over my knee this instant")

The two are VERY different :)

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/8/2012 6:52:24 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subm19
Any suggestions of ways to humiliate or punish her?

You could show her this thread and she would realize that she's with someone that expects a bunch of strangers to tell him what to do. That should be pretty humiliating.

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RE: humiliation, punishment, and bdsm equipment for a n... - 5/8/2012 9:19:17 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Humiliation's easy. Tell her that you have no idea of what you're doing and could easily harm her instead of titillating her. Oh wait, that's how the op would humiliate himself.

Look kid, every relationship is a new one. It's common for someone to have hated one activity with an ex but love it with the new partner simply because of how the new partner approaches it. And the other way around also.

More important is if you have any skill sets in this. Because humiliation can be erotic embarrassment but it can also damage a person's self esteem and lead to you being labeled an emotionally abusive creep. If you don't know what you're doing, you haven't gotten into the other person's head, you absolutely shouldn't be doing risky activities.

Be honest about what you are confident doing, and both of you talk about what activities appeal to you the most. Google bdsm checklists to get lists of all kinds of stuff. Then start with the things you both find hot, not otherwise. And if you don't know how to do them, join your local community and learn how. Ask people to teach you. Both of you go to workshops. She needs to know if a partner is doing something safely or not. You need to do things safely.

Be someone safe to play with, which right now you don't appear to be. You appear to be the kind of guy who is going to damage someone without meaning to. And you know what they say about good intentions.

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