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forcedsensuality -> RE: Younger subs (5/15/2012 12:43:57 PM)
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i've been thinking about this a lot rick. It does remind me of myself.
Such a fantastic fantasy, rather than learning he has to make the first move, take the risk, watch for the cues, the young envirge can avoid the anxiety of face to face and body to body interaction with his sex-orientation peers (young ladies, old teenagers, coeds, dairy queens etc)..
Rick I wonder if you are attracted to any "coeds" (lets call them) your own age. I remember myself and most men at that age were just big hunks of muscle engorged with testosterone, which made almost any peer-ish young (non-perishable) coed we might have peered at eligible (or better, let's call any girl your own age who is single and is also even slightly attractive a peer-rear-able-coed (since you imagine touching her on her bottom would be pleasant, not sickening, so your testosterone has alerted you to her as one of the many possible breeding partners in your territory with (viable) rear-ability) )
Many young people have a fantasy about love or first sex, eg prince charming instead of easy to get on with local bike-riding bad-boy, Mrs Robinson provides stuff mum used to and also helps you with virginity, or the most beautiful girl in the class, who everyone has a crush on, making the odds pretty slim.. The common element here Rick, the fantasy is fairly likely to be unobtainable.. so you needn't worry about the more average-looking attractive enough girl in your class who you do get on with but it'd be awkward since she's a friend, you're both virgins, what will happen if it doesn't work out ? all sorts of minor reasons not to have sex with her even though you both fancy the idea .. but Rick, in the case of your friend, you will have to plan what to do .. no-fairy-godmother will do it for you,.. you have to attain adulthood by responding to the enviroment you live in, which then activates your brain to grow further in the direction of post-virgin sexual competence and confidence.
It's a rite of passage Rick .. not some live-out-your-fantasy role-played & stage managed bit of adventure tourism .. to gain competence and confidence you have to do the new thing .. and i'd suggest, "the normal thing"
Ok you can argue that role-play subbing is a sort of sex, ok, yes it is, but do you see that because this particular sort of sex lacks the usual bearing responsibility for getting it on on your part, the responsibility that you and the peer-rear-able-coed/ first-girlfriend/ high-school-sweetheart would normally share.
I remember i used to do elaborate alternatives to some standard rites of passage (eg i like alternative music, so i don't dance to that consumer dross stuff that you want to dance to (even though i really fancy you and would like to do some real dirty dancing with you, i so insecure i'll dance like a tool, so this really radical avant-garde approach i have to music which is meant to make me look like a really intelligent individual(more intelligent than the rest of you i imagine you all presume)).
Notice how i put on the front of being clever and exotic and different which i need to sell to my friend the girl .. i'm slightly better than her you see so i think i can safely skip this normal rite of passage where i'd normally have to dance and risk looking like a tool, especially in front of her .. she'll be impressed by me and really want to go out with me and i guess i might have gone out with her in a parallel universe .. She;d be quite happy to dance with me however i danced, she's insecure too, and it would be kind to reassure her that however she danced it'd be ok (but i can't tell her that because i've said i disapprove of that awful regular pop music .. i guess she feels a bit insecure that i snubbed her music taste too, but i prefer the exclusivity of the more cerebral alternative music scene .. she doesn't dress right for that scene anyway (a pity, whu should it matter ,.. but she'd not only wear the wrong clothes to my alternative friend's places, she;'d say the wrong things about stuff .. she's so easy to get on with and accepting and uncritical of me, .. but she' too uncritical
well anyway, you can see where that is going Rick.
i think it would be a shame for you and maybe a bit hard on some of your friends too, i don't know .. do you keep this kinky fantasy of an older woman micro-managing your virginity a secret ?
I'm assuming you have a regular peer group ,, i don't really know .. i suppose kink groups are more integrated into regular social networks these days are they ?
See Rick i got so fed up with my exclusive arty friends, my exclusive lawyer friends, but particularly my exclusive alt music friends (who'd get on with the arty people but refused to get on with the lawyer friends "on principal" and used this matter of principal to drink too much and behave badly around the lawyer friends, all with this "we're so much wilder and weirder than those straight lawyers" guff).
So do you see the analogy ? Twenty years ago i wasn't involved with any local kinksters, it wasn't so fashionable, more thought of as a bit dodgy, especially this "slavegirl" stuff .. I did mention my mild masochistic dreams to a couple of girlfriends .. it lost me one girlfriend who wanted me to spend more time thinking about ways to play with her clit, but the other girlfriend was worse, she drunkenly announced to a dinner party that "[I] wouldn't fuck [her]" because i was too busy trying to get her to spank my ass..
See there she goes, whatever anyone here might think, she just jealously resented the kink stuff because it had nothing to do with her .. and we had a pretty good sex life that did have little to do with any kinky stuff..
But there SHE goes treating the kink stuff as seperatist, elitist, that i'm behaving like that stuff is better than her, not complimentary.
As a male of testosterone peak age, you're meant to be rather polygamous in your eying up of potential mates .. so i guess you're meant to be open to various different sorts of people's ideas of sex .. how easily the kink stuff with an older woman coexists with your "vanilla" (whatever) friends' activities, that's key isn't it ? If you have to turn your back on sections of your network that you'd be happier to leave open/neutral, that'd be a shame.
But i think the bigger issue is "normative" virginity rite of passage, the "normal" response to your environment that in turn is meant to help bring on some of the final brain developments .. important competencies to do with many-to-one opposite sex interactions and widest-possible social network (cf: cliques and special interest crowds that prefer exclusivity and rejection of "straight" society and/or find their eccentric practises out of favour and shunned by "straight" society)
But` whatever else you do, do not restrict your masturbation fantasizing to limited fetishes and stuff you can't use with the majority of future "normal" sexual partners..
Imagine a man who falls in love with a woman and they hit it off on every level except the bedroom, where he tells her "you're very sexy, gorgeous, i wanna have sex with you, but i can't have sex unless you tell me what to do .. yeah,, i know,, yeah you ARE really sexy .. i just need you to do one thing .. just tell me that you'll punish me without mercy if you don;t come !" .... "no, oh no, you're punishing me already, .. yeah, i can do it now ,, huh, you're mad with me already . .?? you already know you're not going to get off .. . well, that's a shame, but it works for me !!"
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