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New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/14/2012 10:45:59 PM   
MissDeville


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/13/2012
Status: offline 		Before someone writes "post that in intro!" I do have some questions, and seek some advice. I am currently in a romantic LTR(it is not a kink relationship but I am the dominant one) and have recently decided to become a Pro Domme. I feel like I am a lifestyle domme AND a pro domme(though lifestyle is much, much tamer) and I am NOT looking for a sub for "fun", since I am already satisfied in that department. I dont offer in person sessions, though I would like to, mostly for personal reasons so I am trying to connect with subs as much as possible without a real life encounter. I offer phone, chat, webcam, videos and photos, which seems pretty reasonable to me, as well as looking for full time subs and slaves. However, it seems the "Pro" part really gets over looked and subs get confused. If I wanted to dominate someone for free, I would ask my partner, and it seems a lot of CM people arent too fond of pro dommes. I am genuine when i say ive wanted to be a domme for a long, long time and would enjoy it immensely, and I dont believe that I should offer my services for free( or really anything for free!) If I had decided to start this a few years ago, I woulda started at a dungeon, but that is not the case anymore. Ive been seeking advice from experienced dommes, with no luck. Ive had quite a few "subs" email me and message me on various websites, and then it goes nowhere. Im willing to put in the work, to pay my dues, and Ive already dedicated a lot of time into this, and chatting with various subs, trying to get to know them and really attempting to build a REAL Dom/sub relationship even if I am being compensated for my time. Is it completely normal to have subs pretend they are interested and then leave you dry? I am quite busy, so doing 'free sessions' is out of the question. I just want to make sure im on the right path, because I do intend to do this for a long time. Im ready to learn and dedicate myself into this, so if an experienced domme is willing to help me, I would greatly appreciate it!

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/14/2012 11:49:17 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		It will be pretty difficult to do that without in sessions encounters.

Now you don't really want to just concentrate on that, have something else where you know your rent is paid so you can send guys away that don't mesh with you, because that is what will really burn you out.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to MissDeville)
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RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 3:37:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Well, here's your problem.  You want other people to spend their time helping you for free so you can charge people when you spend your time on them.  See the fallacy in the logic?

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to MissDeville)
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RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 3:48:13 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Welcome to the discussion side of CM.

As LadyP so kindly pointed out, there is a basic fallacy in your logic.

A pro means a professional. Someone as new as you *can't* be a pro, b/c you just don't know enough.

And you will have to pay your dues in more than time to enter this most lucrative profession.

Now you are in San Fran, so find a dungeon to your liking, and then look for someone willing to mentor you. You will almost certainly have to pay for the privilege. B/c that's what it is, a privilege, not your god given right just b/c you are young and sexy.



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RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 4:40:09 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		FR~

Avoiding real life sessions won't help you gain real insight and experience. Pay your dues and gain that life experience before you try to go Pro.
You might also find a lot of people disagreeing with you because a lot of us do this for fun... you stated clearly you want to do it NOT for fun, for money. Sort of like trying to put a pro football player in with the guys who just play on saturday for funsies.. there will be some very opposite objectives and outlooks.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
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RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 5:09:02 AM   
SadisticMs2


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/10/2011
Status: offline 		A professional ANYTHING is selling skills, knowledge, expertise. Get the skills, knowledge, and expertise before you try to market your professional status.

And if you don't believe in offering anything for free - in turn, make sure you don't EXPECT anything (like being taught those skills and knowledge) for free.

< Message edited by SadisticMs2 -- 5/15/2012 5:10:41 AM >

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
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RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 5:13:24 AM   
SadisticMs2


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissDeville


Is it completely normal to have subs pretend they are interested and then leave you dry? I am quite busy, so doing 'free sessions' is out of the question. I just want to make sure im on the right path, because I do intend to do this for a long time. Im ready to learn and dedicate myself into this, so if an experienced domme is willing to help me, I would greatly appreciate it!





See the contradiction?

(in reply to MissDeville)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 9:04:17 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissDeville

Is it completely normal to have subs pretend they are interested and then leave you dry?



Well, part of the problem may be that you don't have the skill needed to keep them interested. It would be like me saying that I want to be a hairdresser, and then wanting people to pay me lot learn on their hair. There's a reason why the new hairdresser always sits there looking bored with no customers, while the experienced hairdressers are completely booked.

What have you done to gain the skills needed to justify charging for sessions? It sounds like your boyfriend is pretty vanilla, so you probably haven't gained much skill playing with him. Your customers are likely to be much more "freaky" than your boyfriend. How are you going to "satisfy" them and make them feel like they got their money's worth?

You may want to join the local BDSM organization and attend some play parties. Play for free with anyone who is willing to let you practice on them. Then, once you've developed real skill, then you may want to consider going pro. But right now, it just doesn't sound like you're qualified. Buying dominatrix outfits isn't the same thing as preparation. I see that you have the outfits. But do you have the skill?

(in reply to MissDeville)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 10:01:09 AM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		I would say take time to get the experience, get a mentor, learn, take time to understand the submissive mindset etc

Nothing is instant especially not a profession like professional domination or submission, I can't answer from a pro-Domme point of view but I worked as a pro submissive/spankee for years and it is not as easy as deciding you want to...

I would say take the time to learn, maybe pay a successfull pro to have you in on some real life sessions with clients - it is going to be even harder with no real life experience the market for cyber domination is smaller.

When i started out as pro sub I worked with an established couple, a pro Domme and sub to learn, I did not make money at fiorst but got a LOT of experience - the professional side of things is very different in my experience to a D/s relationship with a partner

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Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

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RE: New Pro Domme seeking advice - 5/15/2012 2:13:36 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		OP: Others have addressed other parts, so I'll only speak on this:

Yes, it's very common - whether doing real-time or distance sessions - for a lot of clients to try and get something for free with no intention of ever paying for a session. Part of the business work of being a pro (and a lot of it is just normal small-business running; in my experience, the Most of it) is weeding clients out... seeing who you want to take on due to personal preferences and getting good at screening the wankers and freebie wanters early and well.


Oh, and always get paid FIRST, never trust a client to pay after they've had their session.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 5/15/2012 2:15:09 PM >

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

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Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 10
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