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ElanSubdued -> RE: Is a follow up email appropriate. (5/19/2012 4:47:35 PM)
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delightedbyyou,
I've got good tasting medicine for you and some that may not go down as well. First, let's deal with the "good" stuff.
Your opening post is the right way to ask a question on this forum and to get serious replies. I am very impressed. You explain yourself well and thoughtfully; use (within reason) proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation; and speak in a way that is sincere. We get new subs posting frequently and their questions are often little more than poorly disguised attempts to extract fodder for a given kink. You've separated yourself nicely from this crowd and I must say it is a pleasure to read your OP and your responses.
About your question, I've had mixed results. Generally, when I write to someone, if they don't reply in a reasonable time frame (say one to two weeks), I don't write again. However, in circumstances where someone has made an especially good impression, sometimes I'll send a polite follow-up after not receiving a reply. In my entire time of being on here (which is quite a few years), the follow-up approach has worked maybe twice. Most of the time the follow-up is also ignored or gets a nasty reply, which I then proceed to ignore, never contacting the person again.
One hard lesson I learned (on here and on other sites) is that a fantastically written profile may entice you to write, but it doesn't mean the author is equally fantastic. I've been shocked at how many times I received rude replies or inappropriate replies. The point is... anyone can write anything and we usually all write to make ourselves look our best. Until you start actually interacting with someone, you cannot sample their social skills, communication style, dominance style, and personal style. The bottom line is the profile means nothing, even if its super fabulicious! You must validate, by interacting, whether a given person's style works for you. This transition occurs when moving from an introduction letter to conversations, and when moving from conversations to real life interactions. All bets are off until you have sampled.
Here's the bad medicine I mentioned in my first paragraph. I was impressed enough with your OP that I read your profile. There are some blunders in your text that I'd consider changing or removing. Blunders as follows:
"A little chat is fine, a discreet encounter, or even the possibility of something more long term is possible."
I think you need to better define what you're looking for. For example, someone searching for a long-term relationship is likely to be turned off by the inclusion of "a discreet encounter". These two goals are incongruent with one another.
"It just so happens that I have a natural desire to behave in certain ways that can be quite attractive to a dominant woman."
You've homogenized and marginalized your audience, and by doing so you've insulted that audience. There is no such thing as "behaving in certain ways that are attractive to dominant women". Every domme is a unique person with her own preferences and life experiences. I'd consider discussing your personality, skills, and personal attributes that make you desirable as a friend and potential submissive. Leave out any notion of what a domme should like. A domme will decide if she likes what you have to say (in your introduction letter and profile) and reply or not reply accordingly.
Your third paragraph... DELETE IT. It's generic kink with no personality. Use this space to share a more balanced view of yourself.
Add an attractive vanilla picture of yourself doing something you love: hiking, volunteering, laughing at a joke, etc.
I think your OP is a great introduction on this forum, but your profile may not be a satisfactory backup to the letter you sent. It's possible the domme you wrote to simply wasn't impressed by your profile. It's clear you can write and express yourself. Use these skills to make your profile stand out from the pack. The less you say about kink and the more you show yourself as a well-balanced person who would be good to know, the better.
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