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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/21/2012 12:56:44 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Men fantasize about sex with nearly every woman they see.......if they say they don't, they are either gay or lying.

I still do not understand how a cyber relationship is threatened in anyway by the guy buying the panties of random women (or men....).

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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/21/2012 1:12:03 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I think it is only a breach of trust if he starts licking the used undies.

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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/21/2012 1:17:02 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		A breach of trust? Nope. Don't know about your relationship, if he wants to buy something he doesn't need my permission to do so. lol
So he bought used undies (can you say gross?). Big deal. You are long distance, you don't live together, we don't even know if you two have even ever met in person, face to face and he didn't fuck someone else (and even if he did, have you two ever met?).

I'd say if this is is what you consider a big deal in your relationship, I have a feeling the Dom is going to get a big surprise if he ever breaks it off with you.


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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/21/2012 1:19:25 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'll ask "Why?" when faced with something odd, adsurb, or off the wall. If needed, repeating the question in response to the answers I'm getting.

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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/21/2012 7:59:45 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It wouldn't set well with me either. I'm not sure I would identify it as a breach of trust though, just something that you aren't compatible with.

What I don't get is why he didn't buy you a couple dozen pairs of panties with instructions to mail them to him to sniff between visits with you. That would have fed his need to smell a woman's sex, and strengthened your commitment to each other. Buying other women's just seems tawdry to me.

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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 2:10:43 AM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		fr-

OP, i don't think it's a breach of trust so much as him holding back a fetish from you. everyone needs to have some secrets. i wouldn't worry unless this appears to be a pattern that is outside the parameters of your relationship.

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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 6:58:16 AM   
Pyramus


Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Men fantasize about sex with nearly every woman they see.......if they say they don't, they are either gay or lying.


Yup. And, they visualize themselves having sex with nearly every woman they see.
The kinksters visualize owning and collaring and leashing and (well, you name the kink) of nearly every woman they see.

Still ... personally anyway, I don't think I've ever fantasized nor visualized sniffing the dew-scented panties of nearly every woman I saw.

Maybe I'm just weird that way ...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 7:03:19 AM   
asiansubmissie


Posts: 47
Joined: 2/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
What I don't get is why he didn't buy you a couple dozen pairs of panties with instructions to mail them to him to sniff between visits with you. That would have fed his need to smell a woman's sex, and strengthened your commitment to each other. Buying other women's just seems tawdry to me.


that! ^^^^^

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 7:08:12 AM   
Blankpain


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
Status: offline
quote:

"and found out He was buying women's used atricles on ebay."


And you found this out how?

If that's his excuse when you saw them crumpled on the floor next to the bed, then we have some talking to do sister!

(in reply to asiansubmissie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 12:12:01 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Given that they are long distance, I'm curious as to how the OP found out as well.

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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 12:24:52 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Maybe they showed up in the mail while she was on a visit, or he left the page up on his computer.

Like Cynthia, I'm rigid in my view of monogamy and this wouldn't work for me. But the fact that he could have had her do this and chose instead to buy other women's is what's really wrong with this imo. He could have chosen to strengthen the relationship but didn't.

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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 4:06:46 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: collarmeplz3338

hmmmm i met my last Master of one year here. i really fell hard and we have had a long distance relastionship. But then i started to get "strange vibes" and found out He was buying women's used atricles on ebay. It didnt set with me well..He says He was always faithful but isnt this a breach of trust?


No, not unless you had an agreement that he wouldn't be buying women's used 'stuff' online.

Seriously........if sniffing dirty panties, of women he doesn't even know, and actually PAID MONEY FOR!!! (Seriously???? People actually pay money for this shit and where the hell can I 'recycle'?!?!?) is a breach of your trust, you need to find more important things to worry about.


I wonder how much I could get for a pair of 'tighty whities' with a good sized skidmark?


LOL. I read some article a while back that mentioned that gay porn stars apparently sometimes will sell their sweaty used undies to their fans to make extra money. I dunno about skidmarks, though, yuck!

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 4:10:02 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Maybe they showed up in the mail while she was on a visit, or he left the page up on his computer.

Like Cynthia, I'm rigid in my view of monogamy and this wouldn't work for me. But the fact that he could have had her do this and chose instead to buy other women's is what's really wrong with this imo. He could have chosen to strengthen the relationship but didn't.


Yeah, that's a good point. I wouldn't have a problem with this, but I would wonder why he wanted to pay money to sniff some random woman's panties instead of getting 'em from his sub, and also do it secretly. Unless he was worried she'd be grossed out by his fetish and leave him or something?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/22/2012 5:34:32 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Doesn't really matter what I think, it bothered you. You don't equate faithfulness with his activities, that's your prerogative. I will point out though that it seems like you're unsure as to exactly why it bothered you. You called it a breach of trust but I get the feeling that you're kind of fishing around for where to hang your hat on it. If I were you, I might just accept that it bothered me and try to figure out why and then examine that more closely for insight.

To me, he's definitely expressing sexual interest in other women, although in a narrow context that can still fall within the technical definition of faithfulness. Like the man who gets a blow job on the side instead of penetrative sex so he can remain 'faithful' to his marriage. His focus isn't on the two of you in the manner that you thought it was. While what he did wasn't' cheating to my mind, it was definitely having a general interest in others. Maybe he wasn't ready to tell you that he wanted one on one, but he did, and this was his way of keeping his 'freedom'?

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/23/2012 1:18:26 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		There's something about this thread that has just a touch of crap to it, and I'm not talking about the skid mark jokes.

I tend to find it odd when someone in a major city, with plenty of BDSM opportunities, finds the need to have a long distance relationship, using various profiles, pops up on the forums to talk about the panty sniffing habits of the last person involved.  Something is rotten in Denmark, and I don't think it has anything to do with something bought on e-bay.


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RE: a few good and bad things - 5/23/2012 10:17:57 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I wonder how much I could get for a pair of 'tighty whities' with a good sized skidmark?


We need to auction them off and find out!



I did that in the old days of eBay, had a bf who could never find the laundry basket, then his friend stayed with us for months, same thing, I got fed up with picking ripe socks and underwear off (and if I say RIPE I mean it, I treated it like nuclear waste with big rubber gloves), I finally had enough, created a name on eBay as Sk8terboyy or something like that, and offered socks and undies... Fetched quite a bit, bought the guys steaks and beers, in the add I mentioned I would really like to get pics of what they are doing with it. So when they had the steaks and the beers, I brought the laptop and showed them how they got their lovely meal. Then I enjoyed the gagging sounds from both bathrooms and whimpers "I am so sick..." (both of them were a bit homophobic) and after that, they magically managed to find the right laundry basket and understood that the floors are not laundry baskets...

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/23/2012 10:22:51 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



I tend to find it odd when someone in a major city, with plenty of BDSM opportunities, finds the need to have a long distance relationship, using various profiles, pops up on the forums to talk about the panty sniffing habits of the last person involved. 



Well, you know a major city with plenty of BDSM opportunities doesn't mean you are immune to the charms of a person living a long way away. When I lived in Germany, I met a guy on a tech board who lived in Wales, there wasn't a shortage of men in Germany but we did click, 10 years down the line, we own a house together and have a bunch of pets and we're getting ready to tie the knot... When it comes to feelings or falling for somebody, logic usually doesn't really work, you make things happen and give it a go.

Though I didn't get the panty sniffing thing, I thought he just bought female garments and possibly wore them himself and she has a problem with him cross dressing a bit.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/25/2012 4:01:29 AM   
collarmeplz3338


Posts: 10
Joined: 5/19/2012
Status: offline 		thanks for the comments...even the ones where i had to bite my tongue..;). the whole dang story of him spending money is what irks me the most when i had just sent him a pair 2 weeks before. He is a liar and thats too bad because i could of dealt with his quirks had he been honest from the get go

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/25/2012 2:54:17 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I did that in the old days of eBay, had a bf who could never find the laundry basket, then his friend stayed with us for months, same thing, I got fed up with picking ripe socks and underwear off (and if I say RIPE I mean it, I treated it like nuclear waste with big rubber gloves), I finally had enough, created a name on eBay as Sk8terboyy or something like that, and offered socks and undies... Fetched quite a bit, bought the guys steaks and beers, in the add I mentioned I would really like to get pics of what they are doing with it. So when they had the steaks and the beers, I brought the laptop and showed them how they got their lovely meal. Then I enjoyed the gagging sounds from both bathrooms and whimpers "I am so sick..." (both of them were a bit homophobic) and after that, they magically managed to find the right laundry basket and understood that the floors are not laundry baskets...


Best training story ever!!!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: a few good and bad things - 5/25/2012 3:02:52 PM   
Salinedion


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline 		I was married a couple of times so I know that underpants-fighting is never about underpants -unless it is.

In my S+M world, it's a rare hetero submissive woman who wouldn't find the prospect of the dark lord being a panty sniffer a bit of a downer. And where's there's underwear-smoke, you're wondering how much underwear fire is going on and when the next panty-shoe is going to drop.

Domly privelege to sniff, or basic incompatibility? What say you?

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Profile   Post #: 40
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