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kittenheels43 -> RE: acceptance (5/27/2012 6:54:29 PM)
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The battle within
Slavery : Wikipedia : Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation
Gorean slavery : Wikipedia : practices may be described as 24/7, dominance & submission, and/or Total Power Exchange relationships. BDSM concepts of servitude and slavery typically play a key role in Gorean dynamics.
Having never, some few weeks earlier, imagined that in this modern age, women and sometimes even men, would willingly (she smiles at the word willingly, for one would normally associate that word with a choice one makes, and a state one desires) enter slavery. Yet the world she had entered, so new and alien to her, proves her misled, not only were there real, intelligent, people, living as owned slaves, there were people openly seeking owners! To seek an owner as a slave, it seemed so desperate to her, why would a free man or woman seek to be a possession to some person as yet unmet? She had come to realize accepting slavery as the possession of a beloved Master, one already felt bonded too, was not an unrealistic occurance, but even then she struggled with the concept.
Perhaps her own needs and desires were unrealistic, because she knew many of these so called ‘slaves’ lived lives outside of bondage, held careers and raised families in one home, and became slave only when visiting their Master. To her this was ‘playing’ To say you accept that you are a slave, but hey, only for the next 4 hrs, then I have that meeting with the MD, oh and don’t forget I am off to dinner with a potential customer tonight… No, that is not slavery, at least, only to your employer, not to your Master. Her opinion of course, and others may boil with rage at such a bold statement.
The areas she fought against were:
firstly, the definition of slavery itself: a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation.
We live in a modern world, and the slavery one encounters within the world of bdsm, whilst it does often boil down to ‘forced to work’ in domestic servitude, without the bonds of love and without a sexual element, but cannot encompass the rest of the definition, slavery of this type is outlawed, although it occasionally crops up in the news, it is certainly frowned on even in her new world.
Secondly, the collar itself.
He had shown her a collar, was it intended to be hers, or had it belonged to another slave? She didn’t know and perhaps that was part of the problem, he had tried it on her (she had not resisted, as such, but her unwillingness was obvious, he had laughed at the defiance on her face, taken pleasure from it) He had attached a lead, and held her tight, dragging her head to and fro, up then down, showing her how helpless she would be. He had then removed it, telling her it was not hers, telling her to repeat the words, which she had. “It is NOT mine” she had said. ‘I don’t want it’ her eyes told Him. She was thinking : ‘I will never accept it, let alone beg for it’. Why? It was a leather collar, oh yes, pretty enough, soft leather, but none the less, the type of thing a dog would wear! To wear that would be dehumanising. The one thing she would never accept was dehumanising. She was a proud human being, and knew her value, her value lay in her looks, her natural, feminine, submissive demeanour, her composure, and perhaps more importantly, her love, for her love was given freely, but could never be demanded.
He had then sent her to fetch something, a heart shaped tag ‘do not read it’, she didn’t, she brought it to Him, and handed it face down, to Him. He turned it over and handed it back, telling her to read it aloud. It was a slave’s registration number, with His name as owner. Was this HER number, had he registered her already? Or was this some previous slaves tag, was this merely a momento of the past, an example of what was to come? Once more, she didn’t know, and didn’t ask, afraid of the answer. Why? Simple pride, she hated the idea that some other woman had been in her place… jealousy! How bizarre was that? She was jealous that some other woman had served Him in the way she fought against, and had accepted the role and perhaps excelled at it, fear that she would not live up to a predecessor!
He held out His hand for the tag “It is not yours is it?” He asked. “No” she replied “Why” he asked “Because I am NOT a slave” she said. He laughed again. That spark of defiance in her, He got immense pleasure watching that flare up, and subside, she glared at Him, but nevertheless, she was there, on her knees, hands on her thighs, and she did not move. Oh the fun he was having watching her struggle, every single emotion so clearly expressed on her face.
He sent her to make a drink then, and shortly, followed her to the kitchen, putting His arms around her he asked what she wanted most in the world right now. “kisses” was her answer… He gave them to her, and she relaxed into His arms.
He continued to tease her, playing with her subservient needs, watching her struggle with her pride and her embarrassment. Dragging her deeper and deeper into slavery, she thinks about how he did this, and blushes, she will not speak of his methods, they are a private thing.
But still, there remains that one stumbling block, she would have to beg for His collar.
Make no mistake, she is His slave in her heart, she will kneel when he demands it, with that slight gesture of His hand. Indeed she will kneel whether He demands it or not, her own heart demands it now. She will call Him Master if He allows her, but she hesitates to do so, because not having begged that collar she is afraid He will tell her she has no right to call Him Master. Imagine that? being afraid that the ‘honour’ of calling Him Master might be denied her? How far has she come down that long and winding road which she once refused to set foot on?
She did, of course, call Him Master when He took what he wanted from her, it’s possible the entire street heard her, in fact it is highly likely (she smiles, embarrassed yet proud of this fact, the one thing He can never doubt, is the effect He has on her when He chooses to use her) She admitted her slavery to Him then too, but after, when He asked her what she was, He had to drag it out of her.
What is she? For now, she is His plaything
What will she become? Pleasure slave? She could live with that, in fact, yes, she dreams of it.
She still has not begged
She still battles her fear
The game, as He calls it, is still being played. But it is not a game is it?
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