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dilemas - 6/7/2006 4:19:19 AM   
BewildereDsub


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/7/2006
Status: offline 		What i am i do know,,What i have become i do not know.
Mmany of Yyou will roll Yyour eyes,Yyou may judge me as just another girl playing the field,bored with life. Well i am neither of these,
What i am is confused and hurt,
my search restarted 3 yrs ago, since then i found one or two decent Doms,real and sincere but not the One i was to be with,,many fakes,abusers.Then i thought i found the real deal,Someone older (64) wiser,comfortable,knowledgable and secure,,yes it was  an online to start,and i thought Wwe had discussed all thoroughly re; D/s, sex,outside life,all lies it seems,all went fine for the first few weeks,a few spanks,a few strict words,i thought it was to progress as Wwe discussed prior to me up and walking out of the world i had to be with Him.
needless to say,,this has not flourished,progressed or even simmered.
Realisation,yet again that this is to be a doomed relationship,based on companionship and nothing more.
i NEED,DESIRE more.25 yrs ago,i was a Masters prize, Owned and cared for as girl should  be,
am i stuck in the sexless, undisclplined enviroment forever.leaving is an option i don't seem to have......will i become the dreaded cheater.........
jeez,,,,a flogging i need,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i should be thankful i am alive 

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: dilemas - 6/7/2006 4:21:58 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Why is leaving an option you don't seem to have?  Leave.

(in reply to BewildereDsub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: dilemas - 6/7/2006 4:28:29 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BewildereDsub
25 yrs ago,i was a Masters prize, Owned and cared for as girl should  be,


If you're going to compare all relationships to this one past relationship then you ARE doomed to misery for the rest of your life. It's a classic mistake that many people make. My advice - don't! Remember that relationship positively but don't compare everything that comes your way to that. It's a recipe for misery.

quote:


am i stuck in the sexless, undisclplined enviroment forever.leaving is an option i don't seem to have......will i become the dreaded cheater.........
jeez,,,,a flogging i need,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i should be thankful i am alive 


Bullshit. You're not stuck anywhere unless you make the choice to be stuck there. Take responsiblity for yourself and the choice you made to get involved with this person and decide whether you want to stay and be miserable (which you have no one to blame for but yourself) or leave and find a partner who is a better match for you.

(in reply to BewildereDsub)
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RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 4:29:48 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		It didn't work.  Leave.  Start again.  You've been looking for three years.  For many people, that's a start.  You describe a good, abet brief, beginning and then go on to say" needless to say,,this has not flourished,progressed or even simmered. " Why?  How long have you been face to face.

You don't state what venues you've been using.  Online is probably the weakest of the ones available.  Where else have you been looking?

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to BewildereDsub)
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RE: dilemas - 6/7/2006 4:33:12 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe we should just videotape this and play it back in slow motion?

Sorry, was watching The Crow.

Bewildered, leaving is always an option, regardless of what your situation is, short of being physically chained to something, or otherwise restrained.  Truthfully, I think you might be fearing for yourself a tiny bit here; that you are somehow not fulfilling your end of the agreement or some other such nonsense.  Your first obligation should be to yourself, not to your Master, not to anyone else.  Simply go.  You are at a crossroads, apparently, and just standing there staring at the forks won't get you anywhere.  Make a choice and go with it.  There are more than plenty on this board that will give you advice on what to do and how to go about it, and I am sure some will even pull up a bunch of archive references that will show yer not the only one that has ever been in this scenario.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: dilemas - 6/7/2006 4:33:57 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Keep looking, you'll find what you need.  Be very clear about what you want, and it'll happen.  But you might have to kiss a few frogs first.

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: dilemas - 6/7/2006 4:38:06 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Leave and find someone that will fulfill you. Why settle?

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 4:42:37 AM   
mineva1slave


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline 		when one gets stripped of all finances,and worldly assets, it is hard...but yes,leave is what i should do...
and yes,i have tended to *compare* as it may.
sheesh,snivelling girl i must be,lol,but wether it is an easy one for some ,it has been somewhat a deep discovery i have had to go thro,i shall learn from that...
i have talked about it with Him over an over,,, He says He LOVES me and i feel that has taken the D outta the D/s.i appreciate the love,,,but i still firmly believed Wwe were basing Uus on D/s as agreed to 12 months ago at the start........

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 4:44:18 AM   
mineva1slave


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline 		oops wrong forum

(in reply to mineva1slave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 4:47:20 AM   
mineva1slave


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline 		lol,trying to give my own example of my own past situation for bewildered,sorry for confusing post,,,bewildered,yes,many of us from both sides get this *dilema*

(in reply to mineva1slave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 5:02:18 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Posting only under one name improves credibility

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to mineva1slave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 5:02:23 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds more like 'bewildered' is a profile you made up so you could post without people (maybe your Dom?)  knowing who you really are. No worries, I'll keep your secret

quote:

ORIGINAL: mineva1slave

lol,trying to give my own example of my own past situation for bewildered,sorry for confusing post,,,bewildered,yes,many of us from both sides get this *dilema*


< Message edited by MsIncognito -- 6/7/2006 5:03:12 AM >

(in reply to mineva1slave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 6:03:17 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		The op is a copy of her profile....
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: dilemma - 6/7/2006 6:07:19 AM   
BrattyBottomRN


Posts: 73
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I agree, leave.

But if it's not an option, there was a WHOLE other thread on this before, lol, where I got to be the flame-ee, I am the dreaded cheater.  My husband is a wonderful man, teriffic father, provider, blah blah blah... but he cannot satisfy me sexually nor will he play any sort of BDSM with me (believe me, I've tried) so I have a husband and a Master.  Husband doesn't know about Master.  Master has wife, wife doesn't know about slave.  He's in exact same situation.  We satisfy each others' 'dark side', lol, if you will, and help our whole lives feel fulfilled.  And yes, I do feel fulfilled.  Yes, I do feel a bit guilty, but the alternative is what, leave my husband and father of my daughter because I need a kinky sex life?  That'd make me a REAL freakin' moron.  So I empathize, and I don't think you're some girl bored and playing the field.  hang in there sweetie. kisses.  email me if you wanna chat more about this.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: dilemas - 6/7/2006 8:24:39 AM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		there is a quote from the books of Gor that reads as follows...

" a girls slavery is only as hard as she makes it "

the same rings true for all relationships.. and life in general, for that matter..

make the best of the situation you have at hand... if you don't like it, or can't deal with it, then create a new situation and adjust accordingly.

simple solution to a simple problem.

T.R.

~logical thinking at its best~

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to BewildereDsub)
Profile   Post #: 15
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