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NuevaVida -> RE: Bumpin Fuglies: Correlation of Power & Authority (6/18/2012 9:05:35 PM)
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I love the water analogy too.
But I'm in a different place regarding power and authority. Maybe it's because I'm in what seems to be a constant state of transition lately (which is not a bad thing).
The Mister has more of a quiet power. Subtle, but there. Sometimes I wish it were more aggressive, but that could be because I've only experienced aggressive power before. It's not lacking in anyway, it's just different for me to experience it this way. He's more like the river that slowly and gradually shapes its path as it moves its way toward its ultimate goal. I turn around a few years later and see the form he's been creating. It's fascinating.
And then there's my own power. I've learned in recent years I have a lot of it. It's always been there, but it was mis-channeled, or hidden, or stifled. I'm seeing it more clearly now, what it's capable of, and what I can do with it. I'm finding it can match most anyone's, so maybe it's good that the Mister's is more subtle in it's form, otherwise there could be the potential for some serious clashing, which wouldn't be so fun.
So with us, we both have power, but he has the authority. He has it because I gave it to him. This was an exercise of my own power - to channel my energy in a way that follows his lead. It's an expression of who I am. I've given authority away before, coming from a different place - a place of not recognizing I had any power at all - and it felt so different than it does now. It was more a state of helplessness back then, and any time my power would start to show itself, he'd squash it back down, so I never learned to accept, embrace, and channel it until the relationship ended.
Here and now, the decisions he makes with the authority he has, allows me to use this power of mine in ways that are healthy for me, and that benefit those around me. He also redirects that power (rather than squashes it) if it is in conflict with his own. Just last night I was telling him that I feel I still have a ways to go in letting go of control - it's been such a long process for me this time - and he just smiled and said we have the rest of our lives and there's no hurry for that, and it's happening just as it's supposed to. I know he could force it, and I would bend to that, but he and I both know if he did that, it would hurt us in the long run, too. So his power is subtle - always there, yet allowing me to find my own way to him, while at the same time keeping me on course.
Kind of a ramble here, but that's what happens when you're still working through it. [;)]
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