Old man

Old man (Full Version)

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Level -> Old man (6/7/2006 6:00:34 PM)
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new," says the hairy man, "It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him. The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "May I help you?", she says. The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee." "But, Sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities." The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 60 years old. I only get an erection once a month. ... but, ... ..... I fart 15 times a day."

spectreandnectre -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 6:03:50 PM)
lol

BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 10:55:20 PM)
[sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

Wulfchyld -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 11:00:30 PM)
OMG!!!!! Level that was waaaaaayyyy too funny.

littlemissub -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 11:02:17 PM)
haha, poor old guy

Lordandmaster -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 11:15:26 PM)
I know a similar joke: A guy who's dealing with a weight problem sees an ad in the newspaper for a new weight-loss program that doesn't rely on dieting or pills, and is guaranteed to work. The guy thinks, what the hell, I've tried everything, and this program is GUARANTEED to work. So he goes to the address indicated in the ad and meets the director of the program, who assures him that there's no dieting, no pills, and the results are indeed guaranteed. The director says, "Why should we waste any time? If you're ready to start losing weight, let's start the program right now." Then he leads the guy into a big area that's filled with grass and trees, and says: "Just call for me when you need me." Then he walks out. Before long, a gorgeous naked woman appears, with a sign around her neck that says, "If you catch me, you can fuck me." The guy thinks, "Wow, I'm going to lose weight AND get to fuck the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen." So he starts after her--but she runs like the wind. Up, down, back, around--she's just too fast for him. Finally, exhausted and panting, he calls for the director. "This is a great idea," he says, "but I'm totally exhausted. I can't take it anymore." "Ahh," says the director, "that means it's time for Stage Two. Are you ready to try Stage Two?" "Sure," says the guy. "As long as I don't have to chase that gorgeous girl anymore." The director walks out, and again the guy's alone--till all of a sudden he sees a naked 6'5", 255 lb. guy with a sign around his neck: "If I catch you, I can fuck you."

Wulfchyld -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 11:19:39 PM)
Oh shyt LAM!!!! lmao!!!

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 11:34:38 PM)
ROTFLMAO [sm=biggrin.gif] [sm=biggrin.gif] [sm=biggrin.gif] [sm=biggrin.gif] [sm=biggrin.gif] [sm=biggrin.gif] Thanks for that Level and LaM. M

Furr -> RE: Old man (6/7/2006 11:44:01 PM)
Hey. let's not be spoofing old folk. Remember, you hope to be one someday.

Level -> RE: Old man (6/8/2006 2:22:11 AM)
All people..............all people..........are availible for spoofing, goofing, pointing fingers at, and making the time-honored sound of guffawing at. [sm=banana.gif]

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Old man (6/8/2006 3:58:06 AM)
lol

OhBeMyMind -> RE: Old man (6/8/2006 9:55:07 AM)
"If you catch me, you can fuck me." "If I catch you, I can fuck you." Hmmmm....that sounds kinda fun actually! [;)]

kittensmailbox -> RE: Old man (6/8/2006 10:26:29 AM)
[:)] Both jokes... way funny... i did giggle....[:D]

trippingdaisy -> RE: Old man (6/9/2006 1:24:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind "If you catch me, you can fuck me." "If I catch you, I can fuck you." Hmmmm....that sounds kinda fun actually! [;)] So very true! Great jokes here. They sure got me giggling. LOL

GYPSYGRANNY4U -> RE: Old man (6/9/2006 8:03:34 PM)
Now that is a old one

FootQueen -> RE: Old man (6/9/2006 11:25:02 PM)
[sm=banana.gif]roflmao [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

mastersayed -> RE: Old man (6/12/2006 12:00:50 AM)
lol lol lol

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