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Brutalessons -> RE: How to attract subs/slaves? (7/11/2012 4:26:03 AM)
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Zorro,
Seems many have come out with a lot of good advice and suggestions that will take you far, ie get out and involved in local Scene, be yourself, make friends etc. I do not think you lack in confidence or the concept of thinking yourself as Dom would not have arose.
If I have only one piece of advice for you is to actually think what a huge and potentially risky situation you are asking a new sub to take in you and then "To Thine Own Self Be True".
You are pretty sharp so I do not have to go into all the ways some bumbling fool or predator or pretender/player could completely destroy their lives.... then look back at that same new sub and you have an understanding of what is in their eyes, what they may be thinking and concerned about, Knowing that it is her Life and Soul she is placing in your Trust not simply her body. She is much less impressed with your looks or tone of voice and much more alert to your confidence and air of, Being Trustworthy.
Here, more than anywhere else in real life Your words and actions define you. Being worthy of the Trust, Being consistent and truthful always... and holding Them to the same, Being willing to be stern and domineering and at the same time alert and caring and yes sensitive to their Needs. I guess what I am saying is Be Responsible for yourself, Confidant that You can be in Control of that responsibility at all times, and project that.
Players will always come across false and Subs have a keen sense for bullshit.
Even if you do everything right, some will still bolt. Remember what they are laying on the line, the bravery it took for them to even get this far before bolting and I think you will begin to see the balancing act you are taking on. The reward is more than worth the effort.
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