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The (REAL) Laws of Nature - 7/22/2012 10:49:26 AM   
MasterG2kTR


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Forget Newton and Galileo.

Here are the real laws of nature:


Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.  

Law of the
Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Law of Doctors'- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.
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RE: The (REAL) Laws of Nature - 7/22/2012 11:01:24 AM   
DaNewAgeViking


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The Law Of Paper - 'Paper is always strongest at the perforations'.


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RE: The (REAL) Laws of Nature - 7/22/2012 4:33:03 PM   
Rule


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Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG2kTR
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

It is true. They used to produce a spread cheese that accelerated my lip to heal when I had herpes symptoms. They do not sell it anymore.

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RE: The (REAL) Laws of Nature - 7/22/2012 7:07:21 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG2kTR

Forget Newton and Galileo.

Here are the real laws of nature:


Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

The Urishiol rule: The above also occurs right after you have mowed through a big patch of poison ivy, sumac or oak. The more allergic you are, the greater the need.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.  

Law of the
Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
The MRI rule: as soon as the machine starts up your nose will itch ferociously like it never has before.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
The Syndication Paradox: If you have only watched a handful of episodes from a TV series, when it is in syndication you will only see the episodes you have already seen.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Law of Doctors'- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.
The Well Child Check-up Law: Every time you bring your kid in to the doctor's for a routine anything, they will pick up something in the waiting room, necessitating another visit within the next 14 days.


edit: typos


< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 7/22/2012 7:08:22 PM >


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RE: The (REAL) Laws of Nature - 7/22/2012 9:16:43 PM   
GreedyTop


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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

The Syndication Paradox: If you have only watched a handful of episodes from a TV series, when it is in syndication you will only see the episodes you have already seen.


omg, this is SO true!!

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RE: The (REAL) Laws of Nature - 7/23/2012 1:09:44 AM   
Thaz


Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

It is true. They used to produce a spread cheese that accelerated my lip to heal when I had herpes symptoms. They do not sell it anymore.



Marmite or any other yeast extract will also do the trick. Its likely that the cheese product had some in as flavouring.
Its actualy a vitamin B12 shortage in your system if this works. Are you getting enough meat/dairy in your diet? Vegetarians and Vegans often suffer from this, also some people on an otherwise restricted diest (Ironically hospital food is prone to do this to you). Also heavy alcholic consumption _can_ mess with B12 absorbtion.

Or it might just have been the salt content :-)

(Warning if you DO apply yeast extract direct to a ulcer its right up there in 'Kanaland' levels of pain.)

Sources:-
Some patients with recurring ulcers were found to be deficient in vitamin B12. [ Nutritional deficiencies in recurrent aphthae. Wray D, Ferguson MM, Hutcheon WA, Dagg JH. J Oral Pathol. 1978;7(6):418-23. doi:10.1111/j.1600-0714.1978.tb01612.x. PMID 105102.]

Vitamin B12 (in pill or injection form) was found to be effective as a treatment for recurring ulcers (regardless of whether deficiencies were initially present) in a small placebo-controlled, double-blind trial. [Volkov I, Rudoy I, Freud T, et al (2009). "Effectiveness of vitamin B12 in treating recurrent aphthous stomatitis: a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial". J Am Board Fam Med 22 (1): 9–16.doi:10.3122/jabfm.2009.01.080113. PMID 19124628.]


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