RE: I could really use a little advice

RE: I could really use a little advice (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/6/2012 10:55:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScottishLady I need to hear from you 24/ 7 Dom/me(s) and Dom(s) is there a protocol for those rare occasions when the Dom/me and submissive are both out of control and behaving badly. Ah yeah......."Get the fuck away from me!" Or calling 911.

Lucifyre -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/6/2012 1:04:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScottishLady I need to hear from you 24/ 7 Dom/me(s) and Dom(s) is there a protocol for those rare occasions when the Dom/me and submissive are both out of control and behaving badly. errm, LOL wut?

ScottishLady -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/6/2012 4:21:20 PM)
The out of control Domme was me. And I agree, i should have never lost control. But ,i did.

LaTigresse -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/6/2012 7:12:44 PM)
Then you need to figure out why and take appropriate measures so that it NEVER happens again.

SthrnCom4t -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/6/2012 10:13:00 PM)
Buy the book, The Four Agreements. In fact, buy 2, one for you and one for your submissive. Read and discuss. Being the Dominant doesn't make us perfect. However, using past behavior to learn from is the best use of a "bad form" event.

DesFIP -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/7/2012 4:02:54 PM)
I'd suggest you go home and have a nap. And then figure out the next day what went wrong.

ScottishLady -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 5:20:54 AM)
To La Tigresses , Thank you for your sage advice. No being the Dominant does not make me perfect or, always right. I am far from either of these Nobel goals. As much as my submissive would like me to be the strong one, I am not always able to be as strong as he or I would like. And ,when this sub. Looked at me and said he needed me to be the adult in the relationship . I did not know now to respond, are all subs. Children ? If so I am married to a male slave child. The first problem was my slave husband / submissive , and I had been shopping. We purchased the I gradients to make Rice Crispy Treats. he asked if I knew how to make the marshmallow treats. I lied . At home he elected me to make the treats. I had said I knew how . I expected him to make the Rice Crispy Treats. At some point after this my temper and his begun to fly out of control. I do not know how I allowed the situation to escalate to name calling , accusations, and a lot of shouting but, I did. I do not know how or if I can prevent this from happening again. I hope the conversation with my sub and conversations with others such as yourself will help prevent such incidents in the future. Thank you again for your time and advice

ScottishLady -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 5:31:09 AM)
Sthrn, Oops, sorry , I accidentally credited someone else with your sage advice . The reply to you I accidentally sent to Tigresses by mistake . You have proven your point being a dominant does not make us perfect. I hope you and La Tigresses will both find some humor In this recent mistake. I ask both ladies to pardon my inattention to detail.

ScottishLady -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 5:34:04 AM)
DES-Fip A nap sounds like extremely good advice . That is exactly what the submissive and I did. We slept on it .

SlipSlidingAway -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 5:34:31 AM)
I really don't think the Rice Crispy Treats were the problem. Looks to me like you had a problem admitting that you didn't know something, lied about it, got caught in the lie- and then got angry about all of that. Not entirely sure that this has all that much about your sub/husband acting childish. I would have real problem with anyone in charge of me lying about something so petty and then flying off the handle when confronted. If I can't trust a dom on Rice Crispy Treats, going to be really hard for me to trust him on the bigger issues. Want to avoid it happening again? Try being honest. Should remove the situation from repeating itself. As a submissive I would much rather have my dom tell me when he does not know something. After all, he's human, and it's no big deal. Lying to me, however, is.

Killerangel -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:03:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScottishLady To La Tigresses , Thank you for your sage advice. No being the Dominant does not make me perfect or, always right. I am far from either of these Nobel goals. As much as my submissive would like me to be the strong one, I am not always able to be as strong as he or I would like. And ,when this sub. Looked at me and said he needed me to be the adult in the relationship . I did not know now to respond, are all subs. Children ? If so I am married to a male slave child. The first problem was my slave husband / submissive , and I had been shopping. We purchased the I gradients to make Rice Crispy Treats. he asked if I knew how to make the marshmallow treats. I lied . At home he elected me to make the treats. I had said I knew how . I expected him to make the Rice Crispy Treats. At some point after this my temper and his begun to fly out of control. I do not know how I allowed the situation to escalate to name calling , accusations, and a lot of shouting but, I did. I do not know how or if I can prevent this from happening again. I hope the conversation with my sub and conversations with others such as yourself will help prevent such incidents in the future. Thank you again for your time and advice I'm having a hard time taking this seriously for the most part because Rice Krispy Treats are about the easiest thing to make in the world and all you had to do was look at the box and get the very simple recipe right there, I mean children can read and follow that recipe. It takes about 10 minutes to make these from start to finish. So yeah, the biggest thing was that you lied to begin with and got caught in it. Why would you lie about something so small? That's ridiculous. I detest liars and as SlipSlidingAway pointed out, if you'd lie about something that meaningless, I'd wonder what else you'd lie to me about. To prevent this in the future be honest and keep your temper. This is what we learn as children, basic respect, it's not rocket science. I have to ask because it just seems possible, are you and he heavy drinkers?

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:05:01 AM)
quote: We purchased the I gradients to make Rice Crispy Treats. he asked if I knew how to make the marshmallow treats. I lied . At home he elected me to make the treats. I had said I knew how . I expected him to make the Rice Crispy Treats. Hm, okay. Of course you knew how to make them...get online, type in "Rice Crispy Treats recipe" and then read and do what it says. Your hubby could have done the same thing. The recipe might even been on the side of the Rice Crispies box. It's not rocket science; my kid and I did it right the very first time...as a homeschool project in third grade. He was badly autistic. I told him to read the recipe, supervised while he got out all the ingredients and made sure he followed the directions to the letter. My slave could only nuke tv dinners and fry meat when I met him, and though he isn't making lattice top apple pies from scratch like my son has been doing since he was 12...he has learned to make grilled cheese sandwitches and pancakes (I'm working on the rest, lol). He will learn more over time and someday soon, I will (gasp) dig out a recipe book and see to it that he follows all the directions of a recipe. I'm not too concerned over your giving yourself full credit for lying, but more for his TELLING you to do them. [:D] He ELECTED YOU??? If my guy was sick I would let him off the hook, but otherwise that wide evil grin is coming out if he tries to order me about. It is a shame that the both of you couldn't have enjoyed each other's company in the kitchen, laughing over puzzling the recipe out, putting yer feet up and sipping coffee or tea while he washed up afterward. Both of you could have had an enjoyable evening. Even if the treats turned out fugly they would have tasted good. (Try using cocoa crispies, or the multicolored ones. I loved making the cocoa ones and mixing in some Toll House morsels...) This storm in a tea cup is over now and it's time to kiss and make up, and find out if both of you just had a bad day and were tired, or if there are some other issues...that need to be talked out to clear up any misunderstandings or whatever. Don't feel bad. My boy and I have had two times of trouble in the past two months. Spit happens. Another thing. Life is a lot less complicated (for me) without lies to have to keep track of and to answer for. A simple, "Nope, never made them before but we WILL read the recipe and figure it out" would have been better than what the lie led up to in the end.

kalikshama -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:12:07 AM)
This is not a D/s issue. This is a personal integrity / anger management / how to relate to others issue. Or perhaps a substance abuse issue - was alcohol or something else involved? quote: The first problem was my slave husband / submissive , and I had been shopping. We purchased the I gradients to make Rice Crispy Treats. he asked if I knew how to make the marshmallow treats. I lied . At home he elected me to make the treats. I had said I knew how . I expected him to make the Rice Crispy Treats. At some point after this my temper and his begun to fly out of control. I do not know how I allowed the situation to escalate to name calling , accusations, and a lot of shouting but, I did. I do not know how or if I can prevent this from happening again. I hope the conversation with my sub and conversations with others such as yourself will help prevent such incidents in the future.

DarkSteven -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:13:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScottishLady To La Tigresses , Thank you for your sage advice. No being the Dominant does not make me perfect or, always right. I am far from either of these Nobel goals. As much as my submissive would like me to be the strong one, I am not always able to be as strong as he or I would like. And ,when this sub. Looked at me and said he needed me to be the adult in the relationship . I did not know now to respond, are all subs. Children ? If so I am married to a male slave child. The first problem was my slave husband / submissive , and I had been shopping. We purchased the I gradients to make Rice Crispy Treats. he asked if I knew how to make the marshmallow treats. I lied . At home he elected me to make the treats. I had said I knew how . I expected him to make the Rice Crispy Treats. At some point after this my temper and his begun to fly out of control. I do not know how I allowed the situation to escalate to name calling , accusations, and a lot of shouting but, I did. I do not know how or if I can prevent this from happening again. I hope the conversation with my sub and conversations with others such as yourself will help prevent such incidents in the future. Thank you again for your time and advice 1. You demean your sub in the way you describe him. 2. You lied to your sub. 3. You told him to make the treats and he refused. 4. At that point you could have punished him for refusing a direct order or you could have asked him why he refused. Somehow, an argument resulted instead. 5.You realized that things were out of control. But you did not disengage. I think the key is " As much as my submissive would like me to be the strong one, I am not always able to be as strong as he or I would like." It sounds to me like you're claiming to be a Domme because he wants it, not because you wish it. Ask yourself what YOU want. Discuss with him. See which way things go.

searching4mysir -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:16:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScottishLady To La Tigresses , Thank you for your sage advice. No being the Dominant does not make me perfect or, always right. I am far from either of these Nobel goals. As much as my submissive would like me to be the strong one, I am not always able to be as strong as he or I would like. And ,when this sub. Looked at me and said he needed me to be the adult in the relationship . I did not know now to respond, are all subs. Children ? If so I am married to a male slave child. The first problem was my slave husband / submissive , and I had been shopping. We purchased the I gradients to make Rice Crispy Treats. he asked if I knew how to make the marshmallow treats. I lied . At home he elected me to make the treats. I had said I knew how . I expected him to make the Rice Crispy Treats. At some point after this my temper and his begun to fly out of control. I do not know how I allowed the situation to escalate to name calling , accusations, and a lot of shouting but, I did. I do not know how or if I can prevent this from happening again. I hope the conversation with my sub and conversations with others such as yourself will help prevent such incidents in the future. Thank you again for your time and advice Seriously? You lied over Rice Crispy Treats? Why? That's part of the crux of the problem, you are willing to lie over petty shit. This certainly wasn't anything for you both to lose your temper over. Gosh, what happens if something big comes up, like taking out the trash? And I love this part of your profile: quote: My husband and I will not be lied to. Our questions will be answered completely and honestly at all times. These things will not be tolerated Lying dishonesty in any shape form or fashion will not be tolerated. So essentially, you are a fucking hypocrite because you can lie but others cannot. Cupcake, you can't be trusted to master your own twat let alone another person.

SlipSlidingAway -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:17:06 AM)
Hmmm, just a thought, the opening line to your profile might provide a clue: "Silence! Maggots , shut your yaps and take a seat..."

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:29:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlipSlidingAway Hmmm, just a thought, the opening line to your profile might provide a clue: "Silence! Maggots , shut your yaps and take a seat..." Get the FUCK outta the CITY. The whole Scottish Lady thing has been way too funny. I mean Dayum. Now I have to go to the Payless and get the I gredients for the Treats. Heavy drinkers, indeed.

Killerangel -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:36:49 AM)
I know. I'm craving some Rice Krispy Treats like crazy.... Come on ScottishLady, fess up on whether or not there was some tippling going on. Just sounds like a drunk argument to me.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 6:56:10 AM)
Yeah, but you need THE RIGHT STUFF !! quote: We purchased the I gradients

LadyHibiscus -> RE: I could really use a little advice (8/8/2012 7:52:55 AM)
THE DIRECTIONS ARE ON THE BOX OF RICE KRISPIES FFS!! Except really? Use an entire stick of butter and the whole bag of marshmallows. Don't be a krispy piker. This giggle was most excellent.

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