Mistress Basics "help" (Full Version)

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NewbieMistress -> Mistress Basics "help" (7/25/2012 12:41:51 PM)

Hello Mistresses [sm=welcomewave.gif]

Question: It there any set steps in finding a slave/submissive? What kind of questions do you ask? I guess I don't know how invasive i can be. So some basics would be appreciated. Do you just be yourself until everything is settled? or Do you tell them what you expect with authority right away? What things do I look for? What personal information should I ask for? Does anyone know of any good books on Goddess/slave relationships? Do you tell a slave not to except any other offers from others until you decided what to do?

Thanks,
NM



LadyPact -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/25/2012 12:44:16 PM)

Have you had a look at the non fiction titles on the BDSM book list?

Edited to add the link. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm




DarkSteven -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/25/2012 1:22:50 PM)

Just join the local Denver scene. As I recall, I gave you a rundown of the local scene last time you asked a question.



NewbieMistress -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/25/2012 1:51:35 PM)

Thank you very much LadyPact.






quote:

BDSM book list



LadyConstanze -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/25/2012 2:19:54 PM)

Depends what you consider invasive, now if I'd let somebody into my life (and I assume you aren't talking casual play) I'd be damned invasive, simply out of self-protection, once stalked, twice shy



Kaiel -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/25/2012 2:42:58 PM)

OP: I am wondering what you mean by "do you just be yourself until things are settled?"

Who else would you be?




AAkasha -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/25/2012 4:26:35 PM)


You need to use an approach that you are comfortable with.

However, in the kinky world, I have found that relationships that start off VERY heavy in protocol (ie, the guy is submitting right out of the gate, and the woman is dominating right out of the gate) tend to lack substance. If I am meeting a guy online or in a kinky venue, unless it's in an "established roleplay space" (like a kinky chatroom where the atmosphere is agreed upon), my motto to sub men is, "Don't kiss my ass unless I'm sitting on your face."

In the vanilla world, I always approached men differently. I wanted to give cues that I was dominant in my sensual/sexual style, so ironically, I'd be more aggressive. If I acted that way toward sub men in initial encounters, the sub men would go way overboard in return, if that makes sense, so I prefer to behave on mutual terms until some power exchange is in place, or flirtation kicks off.

Akasha



kalikshama -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/26/2012 6:28:36 AM)

quote:

Just join the local Denver scene. As I recall, I gave you a rundown of the local scene last time you asked a question.


I wanted to point this out to her on her newest thread, but all I could find was you suggesting this:

quote:

NewbieMistress, this is kinda hijacking your thread, but you live in the greater Denver area. If you'd like to venture out from the cyber world, there are a LOT of play parties locally and opportunities for a Dominant woman to play in real life.



LadyPact -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/26/2012 10:31:57 AM)

Throwing this in for good measure.



http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3521731



kalikshama -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/26/2012 12:20:50 PM)

I really liked this part:

In a number of cases, I do tend to think that folks would do better on these boards if they would make the personal investment of reading a book or having some experience before posting here. The thing is they have to be willing to do the work. Even if it's just research, they would get such a better response if they were willing to have some initiative. Nobody can convince Me that I should have a more vested role in their education than they should have in themselves.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/26/2012 12:24:38 PM)

It's the truth. Just like the gal who wants to know what dominance feels like in General. Really?



LadyConstanze -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/26/2012 12:36:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's the truth. Just like the gal who wants to know what dominance feels like in General. Really?


In general it feels pretty good, and it tastes just like chicken but has no calories... Or was that the wrong answer?



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Mistress Basics "help" (7/26/2012 4:50:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's the truth. Just like the gal who wants to know what dominance feels like in General. Really?


In general it feels pretty good, and it tastes just like chicken but has no calories... Or was that the wrong answer?

[sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]



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