Pregnancy and Submission (Full Version)

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NiceButMeanGirl -> Pregnancy and Submission (7/25/2012 6:37:32 PM)

I have this really good submissive friend and, well, she just found out she's pregnant. The whole pregnancy thing was a total surprise. She and I have looked all over the place and found no information on how kinky activities may need to be modified to accommodate a pregnancy safely. She said her doctor isn't kink-friendly so she can't ask him/her and she's in the process of switching doctors right now as well. My friend would be very grateful for any weblinks, book referrals or anything else you all might have for her. Thanks a lot! Really.

NBMG



Dresproperty -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/25/2012 6:41:04 PM)

For me I looked up "bdsm while pregnant" on google and Im reading through the links from that search. Im not currently pregnant but plan on being as soon as Master and I are able to conceive.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/25/2012 7:46:49 PM)

Thanks. I guess I put it in wrong. I put in "pregnancy and bdsm" and came up with nada.



divi -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 8:22:40 AM)

How about she just use some common sense ? Does a pregnant woman really need to google this ?



LadyConstanze -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 8:26:28 AM)

Came up with a ton of links, didn't check them out but here"

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=bdsm+pregnancy&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a



LadyConstanze -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 8:30:58 AM)

Looked at some of them out of curiosity and 2 seem to be really good:

http://darkenedmirra.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/bdsm-and-pregnancy/

http://libbysub.blogspot.co.uk/2007/10/pregnancy-and-bdsm.html



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 9:53:14 AM)

I recently had a baby and honestly we just kept an eye on how I was feeling and worked to that.

It goes without saying that there's no impact around the belly and she needs to be careful of her changing centre of balance. I would think looking up resources about exercise during pregnancy might give some tips.

We don't play that hard anyway, but really I just listened to my body. The blowjob count went down when I had morning sickness. My sore back prevented anything involving holding a position for a long time. Lots of medical appointments made us stay well away from lasting marks. Sheer tiredness meant at the beginning and end of the pregnancy nothing was very energetic. If she's fit and has a healthy pregnancy she should be fine.

That said, it didn't stop me obeying because he isn't the type to be unreasonable in his demands. If anything I did even more cleaning that usual because I had the nesting impulse very strongly. I remember being in trouble when he found me standing on the dresser to clean the window frames with a toothbrush at 11pm.




kalikshama -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 12:25:28 PM)

NBMG - is your friend's lifestyle like Athena's or more like LittleWonder's?



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 4:03:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

NBMG - is your friend's lifestyle like Athena's or more like LittleWonder's?

I'm not sure what their lives are like, but my friend is single and sees her Dom on a very part-time basis. He's mostly into rope and more rope, a little bit of impact play, and a lot of sex. They're really more of a Top/bottom couple than Dom/sub. There's not a lot of "everyday" D/s that goes on at all. I would think that they would mostly need to be careful to not impact around the belly, be aware of circulation issues, and positions that are safe as she gets "bigger."

NBMG



kalikshama -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 6:42:50 PM)

In Mass and Florida. medical practitioners have not been judgmental when I revealed I'm into kinky sex - I hope she has good luck with her new doctor.

Is her Dom the father?



Lucifyre -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/26/2012 7:01:05 PM)

I can say that as far as the sex goes, as long as she is not classified by her doctor as high risk, any and all sex is ok for the baby as long as Momma is up for it.
The baby will feel like it is being rocked to sleep ;) I wouldn't reccommend all out fisting though ;) (BUT stretching the perrenium IS A VERY GOOD THING to prevent tearing during birth!! <---use coconut oil and massage and stretching and omg the orgasms yumminess!!)

As far as BDSM goes, it is better not go get Momma worked up too much, light play is ok, but heavy pain and long scenes are probably not a good idea. It's much better to focus on the sensual side of BDSM during pregnancy than the rest. Long massages, plenty of petting, those sorts of things are all wonderful for a pregnant woman...especially with swollen feet and joints an aching back and hormones raging. Even some light spanking is ok if she's up to itbut I wouldn't go too far with it.

Let her be the guide as to how much she can handle and always be extra safe. Plus having a kink friendly OB is a good idea too because then any concerns that come up can be addressed without worry. My midwife was aware of our lifestyle...she didn't much approve, but we told her because we wanted to be safe. So when we had questions related to what we were doing, I could come right out and ask without being embarrassed or having to come up with some stupid ass story.

Anyway, the above are all my experiences and opinions only so take them with a grain of salt ;)

Lucifyre



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/27/2012 6:41:27 AM)

Lots of sex is fine when pregnant as long as she has no complications. It was actually encouraged by my midwife.

I was told not to spend too much time flat on my back after about 4 months - something to do with pressure on a certain artery which can cause lightheadedness and (worst case scenario) reduce blood flow to the placenta - something to keep in mind when he's tying her up. I was also told no extensive nipple play because it can trigger early labour (very rarely but still a risk).

I think any sexual position they can manage to get into will be safe enough.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/27/2012 8:58:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Is her Dom the father?

That, she's not sure about. She is fucking around on her boyfriend with her Dom and she was not using birth control with either. Really NOT smart. I don't agree with the cheating thing myself, but that's not the issue here. The issue is how to be safe with her pregnancy and kinky at the same time.

NBMG



DesFIP -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/30/2012 12:17:12 PM)

If she can't talk to her doctor, and get an okay, then she shouldn't do anything. Every pregnancy is different.

But in the first trimester it's doubtful she'll feel highly sexual. Especially if there's any morning sickness.

Spanking should be okay, but thin, stingy things to the thighs, although unlikely to raise risk of miscarriage will raise risk of varicose veings.

Thuddy stuff leaving big bruises raises the risk of blood clots and DVT.

She needs an okay for her, which isn't going to be the same okay the woman in the following appointment would get.



wittynamehere -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/30/2012 12:25:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
She and I have looked all over the place and found no information on how kinky activities may need to be modified to accommodate a pregnancy safely.

I would recommend honing your search skills. There are volumes of information easily found with any search of those terms. There are entire websites dedicated to the topic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If she can't talk to her doctor, and get an okay, then she shouldn't do anything.

And whatever you do, don't listen to stupid advice like this.



Lucifyre -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/30/2012 4:29:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Lots of sex is fine when pregnant as long as she has no complications. It was actually encouraged by my midwife.

I was told not to spend too much time flat on my back after about 4 months - something to do with pressure on a certain artery which can cause lightheadedness and (worst case scenario) reduce blood flow to the placenta - something to keep in mind when he's tying her up. I was also told no extensive nipple play because it can trigger early labour (very rarely but still a risk).

I think any sexual position they can manage to get into will be safe enough.


There is also a risk that the artey you mentioned is located toward the left side as well, it depends on how the pregnancy pushes on her insides.
The nipple play thing is more of a risk toward the end of pregnancy because it triggers the hormone ocytocin which is one of the labor triggers.

Lucifyre



LafayetteLady -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/30/2012 7:13:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Is her Dom the father?

That, she's not sure about. She is fucking around on her boyfriend with her Dom and she was not using birth control with either. Really NOT smart. I don't agree with the cheating thing myself, but that's not the issue here. The issue is how to be safe with her pregnancy and kinky at the same time.

NBMG


Actually the issue really does come down to who the father is.  At this point, her priority shouldn't be how kinky she can get with a guy who may or may not be the father of her child, but how she is going to handle being a single mother.  Sorry, she wasn't very bright in her activities.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/30/2012 10:14:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Actually the issue really does come down to who the father is.  At this point, her priority shouldn't be how kinky she can get with a guy who may or may not be the father of her child, but how she is going to handle being a single mother.  Sorry, she wasn't very bright in her activities.

Oh, I totally agree 100% and I've told her just as much.

NBMG



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/31/2012 11:02:30 AM)

I guess her Dom had a vasectomy, so that answers one question...whose it is.



Lucifyre -> RE: Pregnancy and Submission (7/31/2012 1:07:31 PM)

I can only imagine the can of worms the other way around would have opened. Good to see it worked in her favor even though I agree she isn't making good choices.

Why isn't her Dom her primary relationship anyway? Just curious.

Lucifyre



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