sirsholly
Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007 From: Quietville Status: offline
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quote:
I don't feel sexy, I don't feel pretty, I don't feel attractive. quote:
I am being completely irresponsible by spending this money on myself. I could probably rattle off a hundred things in less than a minute that I should devote it to...my kids, my house, other debts that I don't have to pay off right away but probably should. Spending it on me is the most selfish thing I could do. How do I get through the guilt of doing that? Selfish??? Oh my Darlin'...considering the above quote of how you are negatively effected by your body image, I see it as totally selfish for you not to do something. Look at at the ways over the years that your issues have stopped you from doing what you want to do and robbing others of the interaction they wanted with you. It is not selfish. What you are doing for yourself will be a huge benefit to your family and friends by things as basic as a more positive disposition and a higher energy level. Surgery or counseling is a must. Personally, I would recommend counseling prior to surgery, as so many who have walked in your shoes believe that life will improve in an unrealistic magnitude once the surgery is complete and they have the body they have always dreamed of. In fact...I would venture a guess I may have hit the nail on the head, at least partially? Perhaps you do have an unreal expectation of how glorious life will be once the surgery is over. Perhaps the fear you are feeling is simply your sub-conscious mind trying to protect you from a monumental letdown? You have dreamed of this for an incredible fifteen years...dreamed of how wonderful the end result will be. Might your sub-conscious self be the one who is frightened, not of the pain, swelling, drain-tubes, etc., but of a bitter end to a lifelong dream? If that is the case, in my personal opinion, it is totally normal and expected to feel this way. Of course you have expectations! I am sure you have dreamed of that first shopping trip to try on a small sized sexy bra from Victoria's Secret, a pair of low cut jeans that do not give you a muffin top, a figure hugging tank top, etc. The fear of these expectations not met is devastating. Just my two cents. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck!!
< Message edited by sirsholly -- 8/3/2012 9:25:46 AM >
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