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This newbie needs some help - 6/9/2006 6:12:43 PM

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline

Hello,

I/i curently have a bit of a problem. As I/i have said, I/i am very new to this. M/my companion, Mystress Mynx, and I/i are both switches. As that is the case, W/we are E/each others Dommes and submissives. S/she has asked for 48 hours in which S/she will be the submissive. I/i have no problems accomidating her, but I/i fear running out of ideas. As she is the more experienced between U/us, S/she is trying her best to instruct M/me. Still, since this is to be her surprise, I can't very well ask her advice or pick her brain. Granted, S/she tells me that I show promise, and knows that I/i will shine brightly, I/i could use some advice.

Queen Alice

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/9/2006 10:14:48 PM

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Whenever you enter the room or she approaches you, have her kneel and knock her head 3 times on the floor. . . it is what I always do

But really. . . here are some suggestions:

Breakfast in Bed
Having her wash your hair/back
Manicure
Have her sit at your feet while you watch a movie togeather
Go out to lunch and have her hold your chair. . . and then you order for her

What types of things do you like to do togeather. . . pick some and just change the dynamic around a bit. . .

Hope that this helps.

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Queenalice)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/9/2006 11:46:07 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

What to do, what a quandry!

You could always use up time to think about what to do next by giving her a written task of some kind. ^_^ She'll never know it's a ploy for more time to think.

Wish I could help more, but alas, I am a beginner myself and I fear the ideas I give are somewhat substandard.

_____________________________

Ask me to share your fantasies, dear
But don't ask me where tomorrow is
Don't ask me where to find happiness
Though I know for sure where sorrow is

(in reply to LaMalinche)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/11/2006 3:12:58 AM

NikoB

Posts: 31
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline

I am familiar with this quandary, but I am usually the more experienced one, so I will try and offer what advice I can.

The writing idea is always a good one. Also do not be afraid to flat out ask her what things she would like done to her as a submissive. Then you have a nice long list you can work though and usually while working though you find you think of new ideas that you can incorporate. The communication can also be quite nice for setting the mood in some cases, nothing quite like being made to tell someone what sort of things you enjoy having done to you as a sub to place you in a good frame of mind.

The only other advice I can give you, and I know this is obvious but it can often be forgotten, is not to forget the fact that when it comes down to it you will be the dominant one, and so the focus should be on pleasing you. Of course you do need to think of your partner, but also be aware that you should be enjoying this too and think of things you want done to you. I know that every time I sub, a large portion of my pleasure is derived from pleasing my partner.

< Message edited by NikoB -- 6/11/2006 3:14:01 AM >

_____________________________

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

(in reply to AngelVoice23)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/12/2006 8:31:24 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline

Two hot pieces of D/s for me are (speaking from the D side for the moment) Things You Do TO Them and Things you MAKE Them Do (the latter makes my submissive side tingle, just writing it).

Make her do things to you that you like having done. A back massage, foot rub, hair stroking, toe nail polishing (using her mouth to hold the applicator, of course), and other personal service things. Make her dress, from the skin out, exactly like you want her. TELL her that you control her in every way (even if you feel like you don't!) Make her tell you in detail, exactly what she needs or wants. These things don't have to be sexual, per se. She wants, I presume, to submit to your will. Let her! The hot sex (just the way YOU want it, of course!) will follow!

Things to do to her (presuming you KNOW what she likes and does not like): Pull her hair (close to the roots, while standing behind her) and tilt her head back. Give her little I-control-you swats on the butt. If you're in the car, tighten her seat belt after she puts it on. make her get out and open your door, or any door, for that matter. Make her walk in front of you so you can admire her walk--and discomfort. If you're the same size, make her wear a pair of your favorite panties, clean or dirty (okay, I'm a panty-loving guy. Woman may find this less interesting).

This is fun (and hot!), and I could sit her and do it for quite a while! I'll bet you can, too, if you start writing your ideas down (Tip: Make cheat notes for yourself. I do.)

Hope this helps!
touchdeep

(in reply to Queenalice)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/13/2006 7:46:04 PM

Posts: 129
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

that is why you are a switch....you are confused..?
Me too....I'm into Fastlane and all I hear is bad shiat...go figure?
what to do, what to do, what to do....hmmmmm, I know, I'll bann him from my life..........lol..........what a mistake that would be.
My point is this..do not listen to the fools and follow your instincts...I know I will.
smiles...Anne

(in reply to touchdeep)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/14/2006 7:03:36 AM

Posts: 148
Joined: 5/8/2006
From: Springfield, Il
Status: offline

Creativity is a must in any situation of this proportion. I, think, that this will be a fine time to figure out if you are indeed a true switch. It should come as natural to you as submission. ( At least, in my opinion ) Me, having never been involved with another "switch", makes it hard for me to answer with a clear view of the big picture. However, this topic has put me back in "Domme" mode, ( if only for a moment ) and i personally, don't think i would ever "run out of ideas." ( that wasn't meant as condescending as it sounded, but im not sure how else to word it ) Keep things fresh and decide if this is meant to be a 48 hour "scene" or if this is meant to live out everyday things with her being your sub. Open a line of communication to her, asking her what it is that she expects from this experience, and what she hopes to come away with. * shrugs * i don't know, but i'm sure it will be an enlightening experience for both parties....

BTW, i have noticed some new faces... Welcome to the wild and crazy world of CM forums. Please, take a look around and continue posting.. nice to meetcha :)

_____________________________

"On my knees, i think clearer"

~Thoughts are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well or one day you may be your own victim. - Navajo Proverb~

(in reply to kickinchick)

RE: This newbie needs some help... - 6/14/2006 8:55:24 AM

Posts: 121
Joined: 1/28/2004
Status: offline

I've run into this same problem myself. The easiest answer id to turn the tables -- do onto her what she does unto you. If she insisits that you grovel, dance rub her shoulders, require the same of her.

( another good idea is to read erotic books ( or view tapes) together and collect ideas that you both might enjoy.)

Glad to help,

Switch guy wes

(in reply to Queenalice)

RE: This newbie needs some help... - 6/22/2006 2:46:21 AM

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline

Thank Y/you all for the wonderful advice. Things didn't go the way I expected, but I/i am assuming that this is mostly fly by the seat of your pant any way. As it stands, W/we have decided to do it again and hope that life and better timing will make for a wonderful 48.

Queen Alice

(in reply to westside)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/23/2006 3:22:00 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

hello lady,
how are you doing? am intrested in your profileand i will like to meet you, pleasdo get back to me with your mail id so we talk on chat okay,
here is my yahoo id: [email protected]

(in reply to candleTC)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/23/2006 3:24:19 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

hello lady,
how are you doing? am intrested in your profileand i will like to meet you, pleasdo get back to me with your mail id so we talk on chat okay,
here is my yahoo id: [email protected]

(in reply to Queenalice)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/24/2006 12:29:48 AM

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, AB
Status: offline

Oh how nice, a form letter, posted to two different people, complete with identical spelling and grammatical errors! Definately the best way to win friends and influence people.

(in reply to Fancy01)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/24/2006 6:17:39 AM

Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

<laffin> these are the ones who are out of the country looking for a green card. We get them all the time on another site and the ones who are idiot enough to IM them come back to the chat room and "discuss" the conversation.

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to kalstolyn)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/24/2006 10:34:38 AM

Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline

I think the important thing is, never ask or command anything you yourself would not be able to carry out. It has always been my opinion to be a well rounded master, one must know what it is like to serve. Just my opinion though.

LOKI

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to JessieMe)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 6/28/2006 8:08:28 PM

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline

I/i think that is very sound advice, thank Y/you for expressing something, I/i have been told, that many Dominates forget.

__________________

"Look here, Scooter. That is my ear. What you're aiming for is about 2 feet Southward." --Queen Alice

(in reply to LokisBrat)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 7/3/2006 2:20:01 AM

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline

Loki, that is exactly how I approach life. Never expect anything performed unless your willing to perform it as well.

(in reply to Queenalice)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 7/10/2006 10:35:13 AM

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

I don't know if this is good advice or not, but I just happened to think about it. Why don't you two get you a pet? It could help ease the frustration a bit, and you would not be under pressure to switch on different dates at different times. I think the time limit could be stressing you out. Good luck.
Mistress_Jan

(in reply to shadevarr)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 7/10/2006 11:18:42 AM

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline

W/we're actually considering that. The prospect is inviting, and is fraught with all sorts of opportunities to learn from. H/her reasonings for the 48 hours were 1) for us to enjoy the hell out of ourselves (first and formost) 2) to get M/me to better know my Dominate half. A pet sounds like a sound idea

(in reply to janiceleeinsc)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 7/14/2006 11:00:23 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

*giggles* Well, you know I've already volunteered. ~_^

_____________________________

Ask me to share your fantasies, dear
But don't ask me where tomorrow is
Don't ask me where to find happiness
Though I know for sure where sorrow is

(in reply to Queenalice)

RE: This newbie needs some help - 7/14/2006 5:26:58 PM

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline

Heeeeee! Heeeee. What do you think we've been collar hunting for?

Maybe we might try a pet we can all play with. Any way, the idea of involving another, might help M/me with M/my aim and aggression. I hope the poor thing has a high tolerance and lot of pacience. (Spelling is not my high point)

(in reply to AngelVoice23)

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