Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask.

Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (Full Version)

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MissImmortalPain -> Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 12:21:30 PM)
As someone that has been on both sides of the kneel before I know what it means to submit and I know what it means to dominate. But I'm having a bit of an issue with that dominant side. There are two men in my life each of which I would like very much to submit to. The problem is I can't get the dominant side of me to shut it's mouth long enough to do so. Has anyone else ever had this issue? (please tell me I'm not the only one) And if someone has had this issue how did they deal with it? (please don't tell me I'm just dom and it can't be done) Thank you to anyone that has any advice.

TNDommeK -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 12:42:36 PM)
Hmmm, being totally serious when I say this, but maybe a gag will do?

MariaB -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 1:29:07 PM)
All I can say is, I have been in your position and like you, I couldn't keep my big Domme mouth shut! It was different for me though. All I could think was 'Oh don't be so ridiculous' every time he tried to take me in hand' and believe me this man has to be the best dominant I have ever had the pleasure of watching in action. Clearly submitting willingly wasn't for me. It sounds like you need to relax and learn to trust your submission but if you are a feisty dominant woman, which I suspect you are, you are going to need one hell of a Dom to take you on that journey.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 1:35:40 PM)
One of them won't do that because he "likes the noise and a gag kills that" (his words) The other won't because he feels if I don't just drop and do what he says I'm not really submitting (which I think he might be right about but I really want him to be wrong)

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 1:41:18 PM)
What is really making me nuts is that I did this last year without any issues at all. And yes it was to one hell of a dominant man. Big issue is he is one of the two I would like to submit to and I now find that my mouth is running off even when I speak to him. I just feel really weird lately. I don't normally have issues controling this kind of emotion. I can fake it like a pro when it comes to most things but this is really bothering me for some reason. Could something like this be caused by hormones? I have had the oddest feeling about some things for a couple of weeks now. Maybe I should have put this in the health forum?

TNDommeK -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 1:47:00 PM)
Hmmm, I don't know then..maybe it is more fun for him to try to break the Domme in you?

MariaB -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 1:56:58 PM)
I don't think its a health issue but then I don't know your personal situation. I also don't think wanting to be taken by force and made to submit is any less submissive than the next person, its just different. Steve will sometimes force me to surrender to him and believe me, he has to get real tough and rough with me (obviously its consensual). What I can't do is agree to obey, it just feels really silly and game like. Perhaps you need the neanderthal man like me?! Steve has an obedient submissive in our poly household and me who he occasionally beats into submission. He enjoys both!

littlewonder -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/4/2012 2:04:10 PM)
Have you had any trauma or problems in your life in the past year? If so that's probably what is holding you back. Did you maybe trust someone before who dominated you and then you lost the trust? I'm thinking something along these lines is what's going on. You can't let go and you're still holding onto the pain. If it's not that then I got nuttin. Sorry.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/5/2012 2:29:37 PM)
I lost my leg last year and the livein walked out a couple of months ago. Littlewonder, you do think of the most amazing answers. I know a lot about me changed when I lost my leg and I really didn't think about how I would now react to a dominant if one pushed me. I will have to sit down with the one I keep being overly lippy to and have a talk. Thank you.

littlewonder -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (8/5/2012 6:35:16 PM)
You're welcome. Glad I could help a little. I know how trauma can affect your entire life even when you don't see it yourself. Others around you though can usually see it and point it out to you so that you can think it over. That trauma makes you act in ways you would never do otherwise because it's a self defense mechanism. I hope you're able to work through it. [:)]

Sybercat1 -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (9/19/2012 2:16:05 AM)
You need to let go and be free. Let your inner wounds heal. The best way to let go is to submit yourself to your desires. If your true desire is to be alone for a while maybe that is what you need. Time to get reacquainted with yourself and your body. Once you are at peace with yourself then you can truly submit to another.

Sinfulsandysue -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (9/26/2012 5:17:13 PM)
This question is for anyone to answer, ok?? I have never before been attracted to women, but I've always loved to look at a woman's breasts. I am so very interested in spanking, biting, kissing & putting into bondage a nice set of breasts. I have no desire to go down on a woman, to lick her clit but I'm interested in using a strap-on to a woman or man....I've always been a "sub", but as I'm growing older and more confident in my body and my desires.......I want to Dominate a man & a woman....Has any other woman ever felt like I do?? I don't know any females to help me with this issue I'm feeling & having...I would appreciate any and all advice. Thanks and have a great evening...

saundrakitty -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (10/1/2012 8:05:49 AM)
Ok, i also have a question too. I have been recently initiated by young military Submissives that need and want a Domme and the switch in me has been jumping up and down inside of me yelling goodie- new toys, I have a Dom myself and i am worried that it might make him upset with me if i release this part of me, so what would you recommend i do when i approach my Sir, and express this need so i don't end up having moments when submission to his wishes becomes hard on me and i try to turn it around on him?

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (10/1/2012 8:53:56 PM)
I have the same problem any time I spend too much time single or without a dominant force in my life. I am dominant in my job, at home, and in leisure activities. Almost everyone I interact with regularly among friends and family is very submissive/quiet/introverted and so I get in the habit of being the extrovert/dominant. In the past I have just been honest when entering into a relationship with any Dominant inclined partner and let them know.. I don't mean to try and ruin the dynamic, and if I do, they should promptly point it out to me, either strongly in private, or discreetly if in public. Learned behavior is hard to change without conscious effort, and repetition.

IndyVizens -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (10/1/2012 11:52:45 PM)
Ok I know exactly what you are going though. My Domme side grew stronger the more my Dom trained me and as He let me take over a more dominant role with our slave I would become more and more less swubmissive to Him. It didn't work out between us as a D/s relationship but we are great friends and I still go to Him for advice. I did however find another Switch and that dynamic works for us. As for the gag He tried that but I have a big mouth and would just spit them out LOL

theRose4U -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (10/20/2012 7:19:11 PM)
I would say: 1) Mr if you're not dropping to beg & obey gets a big fat eye roll!! Its not you it's him. 2) Dom that doesn't like gags is worth talking to. Bottoming (gagged) until you get some rapport may work for both of you in the long run. Its called power exchange for a reason! Lil give, lil take 3) I had this situation & man i was deeply devoted to loved that I was a strong powerful woman...HIS strong powerful woman. Isolating entire parts of who you are to please someone doesn't work long term. They either like who you are & can work with that, or they probably aren't right for you

JiminyJ -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (10/21/2012 6:54:42 AM)
I've had this problem before, but it's gotten to the point where i only submit to someone who i REALLY feel submissive towards otherwise i end up.....judging ? Is that a good word o.o My advice would be, you have the submissive feelings...embrace them, if you're having a session just think about how submissive the dom makes you feel and hold on to that :)

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (10/21/2012 8:02:10 AM)
Have I had this happen? Me????? Of course I have. First I would get some health things checked. When I went through menopause I had major issues with all kinds of things, and a big one was mood swings. To the point Himself and I broke up, and a huge part of that was me not being able to keep my mouth shut AT ALL. It was like there was a demon in me. Now that I'm safely through menopause, I'm happy to say I have that back under control. If it's not physical or hormonal, you have no choice but to explore emotional. I know for my own self, I can't be involved with anyone with whom I am having or have ever had a power struggle. If there's a power struggle, sorry babe, that means eventually I will win. (For one thing, chances are very good I am far more persistent.) So if I even perceive of a power struggle, it's a no go for me. Now, that's one of my known issues with finding someone who can dominant me. I guess you have to go through yours and figure out which one it is. And if it's not that, than perhaps you are re-inventing what dominance and submission mean to you? Been there and done that too. And it took me some time to get into being a sub again. Not sure if any of this helps, but I hope it does. Best, CP

Toysinbabeland -> RE: Okay, I'm lame but I have to ask. (11/1/2012 1:18:07 AM)
You aren't submitting without some form of internal sacrifice...

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