I had given up....or so I thought

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I had given up....or so I thought - 11/2/2004 12:28:06 AM

subkit4u

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/23/2004
Status: offline

I am not one for writting posts in this fashion, but I do have to express myself to all those who are "giving up" or who might be thinking about doing so.

I had given up on finding someone in the lifestyle. I have been playing many years and only allowed few to Dominate me emotionally.
I travel, I go to conventions and have friends all over the world. I have tried to be open finding someone who could rock my world, a total package. However, I couldn't find what I needed, or wanted.
I don't submit easy nor let anyone in my head, out of play.

Just by a fluke, not a play session, not a date, not a chat, I met someone from this site, who has.. for the short time I know him, touched me. And these feelings are so new and scary.

Its not about the play, it's not about the sex...its about finding someone who can make you feel alive and special. Its being able to give and receive kindness and respect. Its about being human and having emotions and expressing them to each other. Its about laughter and being proud to walk with them (on his left, of course.) <g>

I can submit be it "his slave"( jeez i never thought I would say that) or his submissive, or girlfriend, whatever. I am not sure where this will go, if it goes anywhere. I am scared of getting hurt, therefore I have a terrible realationship track record, and I am not a good submissive, but I am a woman who has needs, wants and feelings and although I might walk away from this Master or he may walk from me. I hope he will be a life long friend.

He has not only given me love, lust and friendship he has shown me how much I do want to be a good slave, his...I will not give up searching, for if he exists maybe someone else out there will be there for me.

Kisses to you Sir, and thank you for the gift of your friendship. I hope it can work out between us, and take it very slow. If it is in the stars to do so.

It was an honor to be with you this past weekend and I hope you will find what you deserve... for you are way too special of a man a Dominate to be alone and not find someone who can give you what you deserve.......

I did not mention his name, I did ask him if I may do so. You know who you are, and your are special.

Kit

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/3/2004 10:59:52 AM

subbiejenn

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

Very nicely written subkit and thank you for sharing it with us.

It really made me think.. my last Dom and i parted not really on bad terms but i have had a tough time over coming my feelings for Him. Like you i feel honored for the time we did spend together and happy we still can be friends and who knows one day the distance between us wont be a problem anymore *grins*

good luck in finding what you desire *smiles*
~jenn~

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/3/2004 4:27:01 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

My dear Kit-

Thank you for sharing such a lovely and touching story with us all. It is a thing of hope, and it is so good to hear that you have met a someone who can touch you so deeply and sweetly. I look forward to hearing more about this wonderful, lucky fellow as time goes by.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/4/2004 7:14:30 AM

feline

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline

That is wonderfull. And so very well expressed. I hope it works out well for the both of you. I think it touched me so much because it sounds like how I felt with the Dom I met this past summer. I wish you both the best.

Take care,

Attachment (1)

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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/4/2004 8:21:30 AM

deannalynn

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline

Hello subkit :)

Very beautifully written and thank you for sharing.

I have a question about something you wrote on your profile. In being a pro submissive do you ever fear that you may get hurt physically? Do you have someone who sets up appointments? Are there many who seek a pro submissive? Do you have strict guidelines about what you will and will not do? Do you have someone with you whom you trust in case the other person crosses the line?

I just have this image of being bound, gagged and the person deciding they desire to go much further then you had arranged. Been there, done that and it was some one I thought I knew and trusted.

wishing you well,

deanna

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/12/2004 11:28:15 PM

blimabean

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Congratulations lil kit!!!
The search can be tedious, & test O/one's patiences. Seems to Me like you have found your light at the end of your perilous journey!

Best Wishes!
Bean

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/17/2004 8:31:37 PM

LadyPatrice

Posts: 11
Joined: 11/14/2004
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Nice story, kit. I understand exactly what you say about someone making you feel alive. That special connection doesn;t happen often but when it does...ummm, wonderment. And if it someone in the life, even better, of course. I met someone vanilla in this way one time and ended up helping her explore the submissive aspects of her personality eventually. It was lovely.

Lady Patrice

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/19/2004 12:21:18 PM

juicycute

Posts: 42
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Hemet, CA
Status: offline

Wow, this sounds exactly what I'm feeling with a special Someone I met here. *smile* How great for you!

~jc

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/22/2004 9:52:45 PM

atHisfeet

Posts: 52
Joined: 11/14/2004
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beautiful

so complex yet so simple

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RE: I had given up....or so I thought - 11/23/2004 9:30:12 PM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
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How wonderful for you Kit, and how gracious of you to share your story with us, especially thinking of those who are still looking. I can completely understand your fear of getting hurt and what that tends to do to relationships. It's nice to know that there can be the "One" out there if you don't give up hope...........(smile).

harmony

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