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Support for new Subs - 11/2/2004 7:31:52 AM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
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I really wish there was a support group for "new" subs. Although I did have a previous Master, it was after years of denying who I was, and he was my only. I have so many questions I would like to ask other submissive or slaves. Let me give you guys some examples. If you take on another Master and he lives in another state, how does that work out? Can you cyber to get to really know each other, and not be in the same space? How long to wait and meet? What if he doesn't feel the need to meet you for like six months~!??? What about our own limitations? I feel every sub is different just as every Master is. What about other Dominants aggressively pursuing you, and can't seem to take "no" for an answer?
With that said, I live in a small town, it's not like I have excess to the DM/Sub community, so, I get most of my information here or on line.
Is there a thread support on here I'm not aware of?
Raerae

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/2/2004 8:05:24 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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I think most of your questions have been addressed on the forums here. If you change the days at the top to 365 you can search through all the old threads. You can also click on "search" and put in key words to find specific topics.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 11/2/2004 11:20:51 AM >

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/2/2004 10:18:38 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
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Well finding a dom that you are compatable with is a very long and detailed process.

It depends on how you feel about waiting so long to meet.

Some people i can bond with online and cant wait to meet. Others i never want to meet.

Here is a good place to talk to people and ask your questions. Consdier us a support group in a way. As far as doms that wont go away, block them and make sure not to give out too much info until you know they are someone you want to talk to in the first place.

Good luck i hope things work out for you.

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It's because I can!

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/2/2004 11:28:21 AM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
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this slave lives in Alberta, and her Master lives in Pennsylvania. W/we met on alt.com in May of last year, and on June 29th He asked this slave to be His "submissive." a few months later she told Him she sees herself as more of a slave than a submissive, it was then that He had her say a set of "affirmations."

W/we had known each O/other for 14 months before W/we met and it was the best week this slave has had in a very long time. W/we had tried to get together before that but due to O/our work schedules it didn't work out, and while this slave wouldn't trade that meeting for anything, she knows that the next will be just like meeting Him for the first time again.

getting to know each O/other online is a start, but there has to be emails, snail mail, talking on the phone, and if He doesn't wish to meet for six months then that's a sign that He wants to get to know you better or maybe His work schedule is not flexible enough, maybe He has something that He needs to work out and this slave is not saying this is the case all the time but maybe He is hiding something. discuss, Discuss, DISCUSS your limitations at the beginning of Y/your relationship so there are no secrets, lies or deceptions on E/either part.

as for other Dom's pursuing you, that is something that you need to discuss with Him, and change your profile, and remind them that you have a Master.

this slave goes through that all the time and while Master allows this slave to play she has had to tell several Dom's no because they want her to be theirs when she has a Master. Although, Master and this slave live 3000 miles apart she loves Him dearly and does NOT want a Master here in Alberta.

should the day come that Master releases this slave then and only then will she take time to heal, do some soul searching, and then maybe look for a new Master, but until that day comes she will ONLY play with those Who respect her limits and the fact she has a right to say NO.

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/2/2004 3:57:57 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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The boards are a sudo support group. If you don't feel right asking on the boards, e-mail someone who you respect their opinion here. On the other side of course. That is how mentors are born.

Depending on where you are. There are also in person support groups. I know of a few here in So Cal.

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/2/2004 4:38:02 PM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

Thank you all for the response's! A lot of good information you guys. And you know what? It does feel like a support group on here,lol. It's nice to know your not alone. I decided to look other profiles of other submissive to see if I can write them and get that "mentor" experience you spoke of Gloria~! Cariad, you had some great advice as well. I do wish to occupy the same area as my Master though. I want to wait on him, and pamper him. What can I say? It's been in me since a child. I have always been extremely loyal as well. As for the Doms that won't take no for an answer, I feel bad sometimes that I kind of have to be rude. But, my decision has been made, and has to be respected. I am going by my gut and intuition at this point.
Raerae

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/2/2004 5:36:40 PM

newflowers

Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

A little searching and you may find a local group. I belong to a submissive's women's group and i love it. We have a discussion board and meet about once a month or so. There are women with whom I have become good friends and we hang out together from time to time.

I love my group and highly recommend joining a real time one if you can find one in your area.

newflowers

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/3/2004 12:07:13 AM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

this slave wishes to also "occupy" the same area as her Master but right now things aren't able to be that way.....it's been in this slave since she was a child also and that's part of what makes Master love her so much is because of her ability to be so honest with Him....

glad to hear that you have found a "Mentor," or someone you can at least email and speak with that you feel comfortable with.

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/7/2004 4:27:39 PM

cranialcarnage

Posts: 34
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline

You know, I would be happy to start up a Yahoo group for this, even a chat thing for where we can meet once a week, if anyone is interested.

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/8/2004 1:09:38 PM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

I would love a chat~!! If you do decided to do this, please include me~!
Rae

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/8/2004 3:45:28 PM

realophelia

Posts: 168
Status: offline

I agree with what others have said, the forums are a great source of support. I think that's the nice thing about the 'ask a sub section', you can go there and ask and somebody is sure to give you answer.

I don't have a problem with being contacted. As a matter of fact, I'm in a relationship and only interested in getting to know other subs and slaves. I'm sure lots of others feel that way as well.

Best of Luck :)
Ophelia

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/8/2004 4:18:23 PM

RaeRae39

Posts: 35
Joined: 10/26/2004
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Ophelia,
Then would you mind if I contacted you>? I'm fairly new in this lifestyle, that is not denying it, and had one Master who was really bad for me. Yes, he taught me much, but, he was a cruel man, and lied about so many things. Now I have met a new Dom/Master through this site. He is so far a wonderful, caring Dom, but, lives far away. I don't want to bring the baggage of the past either from my last Master.
I have always been the women I am today, always serving, but, not having the knowledge of what it was I doing. Let me know.
Thanx,
Rae

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RE: Support for new Subs - 11/9/2004 9:22:09 AM

realophelia

Posts: 168
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quote:

Then would you mind if I contacted you>?

Of course not! I'll look forward to hearing from you :)

~Ophelia

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RE: Support for new Subs - 12/5/2004 2:49:03 AM

Wolfsbabygirlz

Posts: 37
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

greeting to you ....I too am a newbie to knowing much at all, but I believe a lot of your questions just depends on the person and situation. It seems dumb to me to follow anything other than what works best for me. meaning, My questions will get answered when in the situation im in at the time. To have to feel obligated to follow someone other than myself's answers makes no sense at all. Just go with the flow, take things and situations as they arise, only then will you find the answer lying from within.
Wolfsbabygirlz =)

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