RE: Seeking advice from fellow dominant top ladies

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Focus50 -> RE: Seeking advice from fellow dominant top ladies (8/14/2012 5:17:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze <snip>you claimed that dominant and top are the same, I said not always, just like LP did. Oh for Chrissakes...! For the 3rd and final time, I DID NOT say "dominant and top are the same". That's entirely you - and yeah, "just like LP did". Man oh man you pair are answering a lot of whispered questions. Done beating my head against this wall of blind ignorance, make-believe and just plain stupidity - hooroo! Focus.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Seeking advice from fellow dominant top ladies (8/14/2012 6:19:56 AM)
quote: You say you are "most certainly a dominant and a top" (dominant would cover both, to me) quote: Wrong - AGAIN...! I said only one (dominant) covers both - not "top" and not "they". Fair dinkum. you're like some vegetarian dog who won't or can't let the bone go. Gotta be all about you all the time - either right or never wrong. pfft Focus. I'm sure it makes sense in your mind, just in the real world not every dominant is a top. I hope you aren't going to drown in that river...

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Seeking advice from fellow dominant top ladies (8/14/2012 7:57:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberKathryn My problem is I don't know what to do with a submissive once I've got him. Every play situation I have been in, granted not many, I end up lost and don't know where to take it........ Where does one get there ideas and creativity from? How do you know where to go with a scene? Thought, ideas, advice? I know that you asked for advice from Doms/Dommes, but I'd like to share a sub's perspective if you don't mind. Don't think of it as a "scene". That puts too much pressure on you. Instead, simply think of it as time together. And during that time, anything that you desire, turn it into an order. For example, if you're thirsty, tell him to go fetch you a cold drink. If your feet hurt, tell him to give you a foot massage. Any stray thought that enters your head can become his imperative. Remember, he WANTS to submit to you and obey you. So all you have to do is give him commands to obey. You really don't need a scripted drama with a beginning, a middle, and an end. That's too much work. It may make it easier if you remove the rubber. I know that you said that you have a rubber fetish, but I believe that being in costume creates more pressure for you to have to "perform".

bighappygoth39 -> RE: Seeking advice from fellow dominant top ladies (8/14/2012 8:34:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 I know that you asked for advice from Doms/Dommes, but I'd like to share a sub's perspective if you don't mind. Don't think of it as a "scene". That puts too much pressure on you. Instead, simply think of it as time together. And during that time, anything that you desire, turn it into an order. For example, if you're thirsty, tell him to go fetch you a cold drink. If your feet hurt, tell him to give you a foot massage. Any stray thought that enters your head can become his imperative. Remember, he WANTS to submit to you and obey you. So all you have to do is give him commands to obey. You really don't need a scripted drama with a beginning, a middle, and an end. That's too much work. It may make it easier if you remove the rubber. I know that you said that you have a rubber fetish, but I believe that being in costume creates more pressure for you to have to "perform". Word. [:)]

Kana -> RE: Seeking advice from fellow dominant top ladies (8/14/2012 9:35:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission quote: ORIGINAL: bighappygoth39 quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Rubber T-Rex play. Oh hell yes, it needs to be done. Spanking somebody dressed in rubber while an old Marc Bolan record plays in the background? Kinky. That statement is Win, wrapped in awesome and sprinkled with epicness BRILLIANT!!! I think it was on Fetl that someone mentioned doing TRex play... which sounded every colour of awesome to me. It was actually Reeds on a forum here. She said they tied her arms wrists to shoulders so she had short little Trex claws, then she had to go around going, "Raaaawr" and trying to eat things!

MsMillgrove -> RE: Seeking advice from fellow dominant top ladies (8/14/2012 5:40:43 PM)
To the original poster: IF you really want to do a scene, then think in terms of a short tv show, beginning, middle, end. 20 minutes is fine. Jot down a progression of some of the ideas that have been already suggested here. Then to gain confidence: Practice. Do your rehearsal alone, having arranged your toys, your props, yourself. Run the the scene a few times. See how long it takes, what works, what doesn't. Revise. Do again. Now get the boy in. Check with him regarding limits. You don't have to list everything you plan to do to him, will spoil the surprises obviously, but review his limits and remind him that you'll pause if he says "yellow" and stop if he says "red". The go to it. Make it erotic of course, but please do not try to fuck a boy in the ass who has not had good anal conditioning ahead of time. Stay on the mild side in your tools/toys. Once the scene is finished, you'll probably feel both relieved and kind of "high" that you accomplished it. One of my favorite dommes says, "Always leave 'em wanting more." It's good advice. Take in small steps, Build your own confidence by small successes. Good luck.

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