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Ninebelowzero -> Breaking News (8/17/2012 6:16:29 AM)
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Tragically no TV network is to pick up coverage of the 'Speshul' Olympics due to start 2 weeks after the closing ceremony of the Para Olympic Games. This is a harsh blow to the village of Rocester (insert town of choice here) as it was felt that coverage could have really put the place on the map.
It also came as a tragic sideswipe to the town of Cheadle (insert town of choice here) where the equestrian events were to be held. In line with recent animal cruelty regulations no horses were to be used but locals were really looking forward to the influx of really pretty goats this reporter was told.
As in the last 3 games the Discus is to be replaced with 3 day eventing dummy spitting after contestants in the Alabama games of '96 were suspected of committing ritual suicide by eating the discus'. Howver it was later revealed that the overiding factor was the delivery of the discs in Domino Pizza boxes causing mass confusion.
As ever Manchester Ushited Supporters association (insert team of choice here) is expected to feature regularly in the medal tables for the dummy spitting as the Liverpool FC fans & the French are as ever crying off. However Spanish Bankers & EU politicians could offer stiff competition.
For the first time individual Tom Jonesing will be appearing in the games.
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