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RE: "Ownership" - 6/11/2006 3:59:44 PM

enigmabrat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

I wonder what parameters others consider before declaring "ownership"?

A joint Gold Card!

LOL

Oh yeah deffinetly!!!!!

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/11/2006 4:09:38 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

Since it's my contention that "ownership" requires more investment in time than a few conversations and a cheap collar.gif, I wonder what parameters others consider before declaring "ownership"?

Interesting question... what do I require, as an owner, to consider someone owned? What constitutes ownership to me?

The very first thing that comes to mind is committment. An individual has to have made a committment to become my slave, to be enslaved by me.

But then that brings the next thought. To make that committment they must first know what they are committing themselves too, informed consent. We talk a lot about consent in this lifestyle, but simple consent isn't good enough for me. It has to be informed consent. The individual must know and understand what they are consenting to, what they are committing to.

Which brings me to understanding. Understanding means that first, the individual has information about what being enslaved, specifically by me, means. They have the raw data regarding fetishes, expectations, rules, what I consider a slave to be, how I treat slaves, etc. They have observed my own character and personality. But to become understanding, or knowledge, that individual has to have taken that information, thought about it, pondered it, considered it, and examined it for a sufficient amount of time to have to comprehend its full meaning. In short, they have to have reached an understanding of how that information, that reality, will affect them and be applied to them. They have to understand what being my slave, being owned by me, will mean for them personally.

Understanding takes time. During this time, I'm also learning to understand her. I'm considering whether or not I want to own this person. I'm coming to my own informed decision.

So... ownership for me begins with an informed committment based on understanding which is accepted based on my own informed decision. Miss any element of that, and there is no ownership.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/11/2006 4:54:35 PM

KennelDeSade2

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Committment and resopnsibility. And like so many things, I see there being different levels of ownership. I might own certian aspects of a married woman, but to demand or claim total ownership would either be a fantasy, or more responsibity than I or she desired. Total ownership to me, brings total responsibility with it, in the way I define the concepts.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 1:52:58 PM

OedipusRexIt

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quote:

ORIGINAL:

A joint Gold Card!

Done. Where do I send it?

:)

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 2:20:18 PM

Arpig

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When she is kneeling in front of me, naked, and available for whatever I decide to use her for, then she is owned, and not before.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 2:42:03 PM

melnkolybabydoll

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LokisBrat

Ownership to me is like marriage. There is more than the desire to be labeled, or to label someone. There has to be familiarity, trust, and open communication lines. This cannot be established with messages, e-mails, or 1 or 2 telephone calls. Ownwership comes from time, patience, and acceptance.

LOKI

i must say, as a married woman, ownership can go so much deeper than simple marriage. People get married for many reasons which have nothing to do with love, respect, honor, or even truly knowing one another. We were married for 17 years before we even began to acknowledge and accept the true dynamics of our relationship. We have had a taste, but still fight our own misgivings at times.

Level put it very poignantly with "Developing trust and transparency. And respect." It entails constant discovery, learning, and acceptance. It is not an easy thing to achieve. Owning/being owned is the ability to look at the other knowing they are the most important person in your life, barring all others. It is complete trust that they feel the same way. It is the true complement to yourself (fit).

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 2:48:37 PM

redpetals

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"Owned " means just that
You become "property" ..
ie you have "no limits,save for what your Master says.."
(and before the PC* police come round, yes, yes, yes, limits are decided on differently by different people)
and this is a mind set agreed upon by both parties.
how much simpler can that be?
and this is real time face to face and real time online
there IS a real person at the other end of the inner-net
(yes, and they are fervorantly typing away...)
of course this is just my opinion..but you could be wrong..

*PC-politicaly correct

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 3:05:28 PM

Sunshine119

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(hitting fast reply)

Owned for me means forever. I have been living with the man who has been my Dominant for 1 1/2 now. I still do not see myself as "owned". Owned is being a slave. While He seems to think I am made of that material, I don't quite see it that way. Only time, patience and trust will tell. None of those things happen "on-line", or even overnight.

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Post #: 28

RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 4:17:36 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: melnkolybabydoll

i must say, as a married woman, ownership can go so much deeper than simple marriage. People get married for many reasons which have nothing to do with love, respect, honor, or even truly knowing one another. We were married for 17 years before we even began to acknowledge and accept the true dynamics of our relationship. We have had a taste, but still fight our own misgivings at times.

Level put it very poignantly with "Developing trust and transparency. And respect." It entails constant discovery, learning, and acceptance. It is not an easy thing to achieve. Owning/being owned is the ability to look at the other knowing they are the most important person in your life, barring all others. It is complete trust that they feel the same way. It is the true complement to yourself (fit).

Funny... I never have seen a simple marriage before. The marriages in my family tend to last a long time (exception of my own..lol). I have read many people on this board that think of owning slaves for service reasons only having nothing to do with notions such as romantic love. One does not follow the other in either case. Vanilla marriage is as valid as an BDSM collar. Just because someone does not get off on BDSM does not negate their relationship or make it of less value. You probably didnt mean it that way, but I think a lot of starry-eyed newbies DO think that.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 5:12:52 PM

daddysprop247

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i define ownership as the state of one person's life being under the complete and unconditional control of another...being truly owned. it's not like dating, it's not like being in love, it's not like being married. it's about a relationship between an Owner and their human property.
as to those whose profiles go from owned to looking to owned again, it would be my guess that those folks have no idea what slavery truly is in this lifestyle, and would have no desire for it if they did. for some M/s is nothing but an online fantasy roleplay game they like to play to while away the dull hours.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

To clarify the OP, I was interested in what people think of as "ownership", from both sides, as well as attempting (with varying success) to make the point that I found it interesting (as perhaps others might) that some people have a habit of switching back and forth between "owned" and "looking" on an every-other-day basis.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 6:26:18 PM

sharainks

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From my observation this is usually a result of people who jump into online chat relationships that usually last until the next time they chat. It may be a newbie who wants to look but gets scared and types in the owned thing so people don't bother them until they get their courage up again. I've given up trying to figure out why people do some of the stuff they do on these sites.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 9:57:33 PM

timeoutgurlie

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Personally, I use the words "Master" and "owned" lightly here, as it seems unless you say straight out that you are OWNED, nobody respects that you're involved. I'd choke on the words in real life if I had to speak them, I've only known the man I'm involved with for a short time, we're just laying down the foundation right now and will be for quite a while.

I'm sure there's other like me, using the words on this site just to make the 'suitors' back off.

I'm also sure it is exactly as you said though and they're changing their 'status' at a whim to attract whatever they feel will suit them at the time. I haven't personally seen it, but then again I only look ay profiles for pics of people who look like they'd have good photos of clothing or accessories I'd like...so I'm not the best judge of how frequently people are playing this game of on & off.

Sadly, I'm also sure there are some who are naive, or to be blunt, *dumb* enough to think that they're owned at the time they put the words on a screen. Ah well

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 10:15:43 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Why would I give anyone ownership of me that knew next to nothing about me? Why would I give it to someone I know next to nothing about? But then, I won't meet you for coffee without more than a handful of email/instant message conversations and at least one phone call. Call me quirky.

Quirky,

I couldn't agree with you more. I will not give ownership of myself to anyone until I know them her well enough to be sure I will spend the rest of my life with her.

Shave my head and call me Curly.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 10:47:32 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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I agree with you totally. Newbies sometimes get starry eyed when a cyber dom throws out words like owned and collared. Reality must set in at sometime. Alot of real life ones gey caught up in the aura and dont realize it much more serious than just words or objects.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/14/2006 10:52:57 PM

juliaoceania

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I know what you mean timeoutgirlie. I was still receiving emails until I put "taken" on mine, and it was to stop people from expecting email replies. I am exclusively seeing someone, very new, very fresh, just like you. The other alternative is to hide my profile which I do not want to do to be honest. I figure if I state I will not return certain emails, well there it is, if they want to waste cyber ink it is up to them because I do not feel a compunction to respond. Just me... etc

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/15/2006 3:16:29 AM

MaggieDoll

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I wonder what some people consider "casual" or "new". I've only been with Mistress Jennifer and Sir Stephen for about two months, but have been living with them that whole time. I came here for a visit, and we just clicked. able to understand one another and provide for each others' needs. For the most part we were not what each other were so much looking for, at least consciously, anyways, but found that it was just right. There is just so much love and understanding, and it seems that I fill what they were looking for (although, considering my general low self-esteem, I don't exactly understand why they want me so much, I didn't think anybody would ever really want me, but they do love me and want me, and it's wonderful.) and they take such wonderful care of me, and understand me, and my love and respect for them, and my obediance, makes them happy. and their care for me, and instruction and love and guidence makes me happy. many on here emphasize time in the relationship, but I feel like that's really relative.

Maggie

Property of Sir Stephen and Mistress Jennifer

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Post #: 36

RE: "Ownership" - 6/15/2006 7:08:27 AM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

I notice one or two profiles that seem to go from "owned" to "looking" and back again numerous times in the course of a week. It's entirely possible that they are simply living a ficiticious role and can't decide which one seems more appealing, but it brought a thought to me I decided to post.

Since it's my contention that "ownership" requires more investment in time than a few conversations and a cheap collar.gif, I wonder what parameters others consider before declaring "ownership"?

I know we've all had the approach from someone offering or expecting an instant commmittment. Please ignore those situations and consider your thoughts on what you require as an owner, or owned.

I would agree with a lot of those parameters mentioned and an additional one for me personally is at least a year of dating/relationship building before committing to being owned by someone. I'm a huge fan of taking time and just a few months is not remotely enough time to get to know someone who will have completely authority and control over you.

C~

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/16/2006 12:10:52 PM

shyfem

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Good Afternoon everyone,

I have seen the use of 'owned' also as I occasionally view other submissive profiles. I am unsure of the motivation that the individuals have for doing this. It may be a game, it may be they are too naive to know better or it may just be as some others have stated that they are just trying to slow the flow of email.

That is why after recently meeting One that I find very intriguing, I changed my profile to state "No longer actively seeking". This will give me some time to devote to getting to know Him.

I feel that if I were to use the word "owned" it would only be after really getting to know Him. I want to know the whole person "warts and all"

not just the Dom. I need to know His expectations of His submissive. Is He looking for more than I feel I can deliver? Am I looking for more than He can give? For me, these things take time. Only after I know these things and more would I be able to respect Him to the extent that it would take for me to consider being owned.

As for the on-line Dom that a few mentioned, I cannot understand that at all. It is far too easy to portray something on-line that you are not.

~shy
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May all who tread here find what it is they seek!

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/16/2006 1:36:30 PM

Calandra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
It is as serious as being married is, and for me personally I would probably want both commitments with the same person eventually.

cubby has worn my formal collar for seven years, and we're approaching our 3rd wedding anniversary in July...

I asked him on a lark one day recently "if I asked you to give up "forevermore" either your collar or your wedding band, which would you choose?"

He didn't even pause five seconds and said "the wedding band".

I laughed when he shyly looked to see if I was mad... I said "I'd choose the same way"

Our D/s works without marriage, but our marriage would never work without the D/s... so ownership, collars, etc is deeper for the two of us than marriage is.

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RE: "Ownership" - 6/16/2006 8:24:20 PM

timeoutgurlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I know what you mean timeoutgirlie. I was still receiving emails until I put "taken" on mine, and it was to stop people from expecting email replies. I am exclusively seeing someone, very new, very fresh, just like you. The other alternative is to hide my profile which I do not want to do to be honest. I figure if I state I will not return certain emails, well there it is, if they want to waste cyber ink it is up to them because I do not feel a compunction to respond. Just me... etc

lol @ waste cyber ink, cute and well said

Maggie, I'm worried you may have taken words I'd used about the relationship being "new" as bashing it, and that's not the intent at all. I just mean it for myself personally, there hasn't been enough time for me to truly feel "owned", so using the word for my own relationship right now would feel premature. That's definitely not to say that just because a relationship has "only" been going on for 'x' time that it's less than another that's been going on for a longer duration. Time is relative, I agree. What some have in 6 months can be far deeper and with a more solid foundation than a couple who has been together for 10 years, it all depends on the people involved.

Hope you didn't take the comments about short times together personally, it wasn't meant to be such

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