RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stops frustrating me!

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:42:23 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Did someone say age didn't matter?

After a lifetime of dating older men, I look at my own age group now. My former slave is collecting social security! No more old guys.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:45:03 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

The profile says age 39. Turns out his real age is 48.

Worse, that fact comes out only after *I* raise the issue several messages in. I look at his photo, look at his profile, look at his photo again (noting that it oddly bears a date stamp reading '98), look at his profile again. Finally, fearing that I am being rude, I ask how old he actually is.

"Uh...oh yeah, I never got around to updating that. Just didn't seem important..."

Gawd, deception is a turnoff!!!

LOL - my 72 year old mother lied about her age on a dating site (said she was 67) because she didn't want anyone "old."

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:46:11 PM

DomMeinCT

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Sometimes in email conversation with someone here, and things start to not add up logically (i.e., my Spidey-sense goes off that I'm reading bullshit), I simply ask "So, how accurate is your profile for all the details you have listed?"

You wouldn't believe the number consistent responses that start out "I never look at that thing" before trying to backtrack out of the lies on the profile.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:47:41 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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One Dominant I agreed to meet told me up front that his picture was 3 years old. I doubt that, it was probably more than twice that and he'd gained about 80 more pounds than what the picture reflected. Really? I wasn't supposed to notice the aging and the weight? Another man sent me pictures of himself with a closed mouth, as it turned out his teeth were horrific, black, and eaten away. Like I wouldn't see it? I lasted out the meeting with the first guy, but on the second one i called a friend from the bathroom to call me in 15 min so I could claim an emergency and leave. I dont know why I needed the subterfuge, but that's what I did.

A guy friend told me about a woman he agreed to meet from online who used her daughter's picture as hers, and when he met her she was around the 300# mark which was not the case in her daughter's photo.

I don't know what people are hoping to achieve, like you'd be taken in by the picture and never notice anything after that? That shock that you feel when you first see someone who purposefully deceived you isn't something that turns into a warm fuzzy feeling with time. It pisses me off and I stay that way.

Oh, and btw, the first dude had very specific ideas of what I should be dressed in for our first meeting. I was stupid back then and did it, boy was I ticked afterwards, lol.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:52:04 PM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I'll be the party pooper - age matters to me.

My first dom was 11 years older than me and up and died on me. I will not date/submit to someone older than me, and a lie about that is a deal breaker. I will not put myself in a position of loving a man to lose him again - and yes, men my age die, but it would be less common than someone 10 years older. Its one way that i can protect myself.

And there are probably a whole gang of men out there that i could fall in love with that are older than me, but i'm not going there again.....

In this instance i AM age-ist.

Hey, I never said age doesn't matter to me. It very much does. I also can't stand those 40, 50, and 60 year-old men who act like victims because then can't get into the pants of the women young enough to be their daughters.

But for purposes of this thread, I wasn't complaining about older guys per se. I was complaining specifically about age-lying.

And Hibby, of course we can expand the rant subjects. Did I ever discuss the guy I met who happened to be married with three kids? He said he thought I knew. Since then, I always ask directly about spouses and children in the first message or two.

Since asking about spouses & kids, have you found anyone that told you no spouses/kids and then you found out he lied?

About the age thing, my ex was 10 years older and stopped wanting sex (amoung other problems) so i agree with Kiwisub and Hibbie.. no guys older than me again! I will take single over that..

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:53:21 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

quote:

ORIGINAL: Delilya

Happened to me a couple of months ago. He was coming in from another state, I was there to pick him up at the train and take him to the rental car place. I had no idea who it was walking up to me. Instead of a head full of hair, he had one very bad comb over. He was at best 5'8" instead of the 6'1" he claimed. And he was quite a bit older and heavier than his very old photo showed. Thing was, I still would have helped him get settled, if he had been honest. Since he wasn't I declined dinner and went my merry way.

That doesn't sound fun. Comb-overs should be outlawed.

Seriously.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:55:21 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Oh yes, I have had too many mention the kids, the 'pending' divorce, the 'oh by the way' stuff AFTER they spin their story. Because of course every femdom wants to be the piece on the side.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:58:07 PM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
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I am 46, I am not a jock, hell, I am not even as intellectual, creative or witty as I was twenty years ago. My profile picture is from last Christmas. I am an asshole. I think that pretty much lays it out for anyone...

I never understood lying to anyone. If you are going to meet, they just might figure out what you fucking look like...

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:59:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

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And look how well that's worked for you, Cryptic! Your fanbase is tremendous!

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:01:43 PM

lizi

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Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Oh yes, I have had too many mention the kids, the 'pending' divorce, the 'oh by the way' stuff AFTER they spin their story. Because of course every femdom wants to be the piece on the side.

Every femdom and every submissive. I actually think it's a bit worse for the female subs/slaves because they're SUPPOSED to just suck it up and the guy's marital status shouldn't ever matter.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:03:57 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Oh yes, I have had too many mention the kids, the 'pending' divorce, the 'oh by the way' stuff AFTER they spin their story. Because of course every femdom wants to be the piece on the side.

Every femdom and every submissive. I actually think it's a bit worse for the female subs/slaves because they're SUPPOSED to just suck it up and the guy's marital status shouldn't ever matter.

Well of course, we wouldn't be here if we weren't *easy* right?

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:07:23 PM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I'll be the party pooper - age matters to me.

My first dom was 11 years older than me and up and died on me. I will not date/submit to someone older than me, and a lie about that is a deal breaker. I will not put myself in a position of loving a man to lose him again - and yes, men my age die, but it would be less common than someone 10 years older. Its one way that i can protect myself.

And there are probably a whole gang of men out there that i could fall in love with that are older than me, but i'm not going there again.....

In this instance i AM age-ist.

Age matters to me more now than it did when I was younger - it's one item I'll be looking at. I want any partner I have now to be around as long as possible if we decide to stay together. I'm 50 and am not on one single medication, I have no health conditions and am in wonderful health- which I actively take care of. I want a partner who is in roughly the same condition. Age does matter in this case and as it was pointed out, it becomes more likely that with someone older they may have health issues.

I don't want someone lying to me. If things come up later on, well that's life. It happens, obviously if any partner I have has an issue, then I'd deal with it. But it's my prerogative to filter people out as I see fit in the beginning and I can't stand it when I am given faulty material to filter with.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:09:29 PM

smartsub10

Posts: 865
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quote:

Every femdom and every submissive. I actually think it's a bit worse for the female subs/slaves because they're SUPPOSED to just suck it up and the guy's marital status shouldn't ever matter.

Whooo, yeah!! I get married guys messaging me and telling me that I shouldn't dismiss married men because they can give me what I "need". Oh really? I need honesty, trust and someone who's going to be there for me. Not just someone to spank my ass and fuck me. LOL Sheesh.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:10:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I'm with you, Lizi. I lost two friends to unexpected massive strokes, so I know there are no guarantees. But I want someone that will encourage me to do more, not hold me back because he can't.

That's not to say that I would EVER abandon a partner who became ill. Life happens, and I deal. I just want the odds to be in our favour.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:13:18 PM

CarpeComa

Posts: 194
Joined: 5/12/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I don't know what people are hoping to achieve, like you'd be taken in by the picture and never notice anything after that? That shock that you feel when you first see someone who purposefully deceived you isn't something that turns into a warm fuzzy feeling with time. It pisses me off and I stay that way.

I think people are hoping that by the time they meet you that you will be sooo in love with them that you will look past the other things. Which is by and large Hollywood fantasy bullshit. Of course, this is a very fantasy orientated site, so a little bit more fantasy thinking layered on top of the sexual fantasy would be par for the course. The irony of all this is that people keep saying how important trust is in these relationships while lying to the people that need to trust them.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:13:30 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
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I'm guilty of not updating my age on here. I never paid any attention to until someone pointed out that my Fet Life account and CM said two different things. That said, though, I'm not looking for anything, so it really doesn't matter.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:24:00 PM

kiwisub12

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I'm guilty of the same Oside - but i'm not actively looking for a match. If it should happen that i need to look again, i will be updating my profile.

and my profile is accurate - at least it was when i found my sweetie. I figured there was very little to be gained by lying, since i wanted a real time relationshhip, and any lie would come out as soon as we met. Never saw the point in lying.

I wonder if men lie aobut their appearance because they think women are as visually oriented as they are. For my self , personality is more important than looks - my first dom was a self professed old coot - and looked it, and the first time we met, i was captivated by his personality. Of course, i changed his clothing style and glasses- lol- but they were a minor matter. Didn't change his old cootness, just updated it a bit.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:41:46 PM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I'm with you, Lizi. I lost two friends to unexpected massive strokes, so I know there are no guarantees. But I want someone that will encourage me to do more, not hold me back because he can't.

That's not to say that I would EVER abandon a partner who became ill. Life happens, and I deal. I just want the odds to be in our favour.

I've shared my feelings with certain younger women and have gotten very judgmental comments. You said it perfectly, although there are no guarantees, I want as much as possible out of a relationship, and of course I'd never leave anyone who became sick. Which makes it even more important to check things out to begin with....because i'll be there for the long haul. I want that time to be as full of joy as possible.

Let's face it, with the hard work I've put into my own health, I'm the one likely to be the nursemaid. I'm not taking on someone at this point in my life only to be saddled with a life of limitations that have nothing to do with me. I know how that sounds and I'll accept that. After I'm with someone if his health fails I'll be there for him, hopefully he'd be there for me. I just want to cut down on that possibility as much as possible. I'd honestly rather be alone now than be taking care of someone who didn't value themselves as much as I value my own health.

That all being said, my Dominant had an unexpected triple bypass heart surgery 2 years ago- we'd been together about a year and a half when it happened. No one saw it coming, he is as anal about taking care of his health as I am- we were well matched in this area. And still it happened. And here i am still by his side and will be for however long we last.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 5:45:47 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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I've spent a lot of time on Planet Caregiver. My future involves...three people who I hope live to be old. I am not taking more of that on if I can help it. I've given up too much of my life for that already.

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 6:41:38 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

The profile says age 39. Turns out his real age is 48.

Worse, that fact comes out only after *I* raise the issue several messages in. I look at his photo, look at his profile, look at his photo again (noting that it oddly bears a date stamp reading '98), look at his profile again. Finally, fearing that I am being rude, I ask how old he actually is.

"Uh...oh yeah, I never got around to updating that. Just didn't seem important..."

Gawd, deception is a turnoff!!!

Makes sense....men are busy....I personally haven't updated my age since 1974. (I'm actually 107....but most people tell me I don't look a day over 106, 11 months, 3 weeks, 6 days).

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