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Creative - 9/9/2012 6:24:18 PM

joeksonus

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/29/2012
From: MI
Status: offline

I've always fancied creative writing but I lack quality or something along those strange lines...but here goes nothing, right?
I wrote this about the first dom I ever had...the one who introduced me to this.

You took me under the water
Not letting me come up for air
Nothing in you would falter.
But everything in me would tear.

You'd piece me together
The way you saw fit
With each piece of leather
My soul took another hit.

The end came for you
I saw it coming.
I bid you adieu.
But alas, you kept on strumming.

Strumming at my mind
Strumming at my heart
I needed to unwind
You didn't want to depart.

I bid you adieu
You said "like hell"
Everything you knew
All I could was yell

I yelled until I was blue
Your face went red
You said you knew
I was filled with dred.

I left in the night
Never truly broken
You were out of sight.
The beast had final spoken.

How retarded was THAT?! ...I just had to get it out of my hard drive...otherwise it would have never made it anywhere (I made a pact with myself that everything that I write will be off my hard drive before I delete it...dumb I know...)

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RE: Creative - 9/9/2012 11:39:47 PM

Odinsfire

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline

A poem tells a story...and you have not failed. A poem also shows emotions and you have shown several.

_____________________________

Woman--Hers is the conflict--Hers is the conquest--Hers is the flag of life unfurl'd--Hers is the sorrow--Hers is the suffering--Hers is the love that rules the world.

(in reply to joeksonus)

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