quote:
ORIGINAL: litleone8620
Ok, now i'm wondering about stereotypes. This might be a stupid question, but i don't care, i'm learning: are there stereotypes for dominants and submissives? Stereotypes affect the way a person acts, not necessarily their personality. So, does a submissive act a certain way because they are expected to? Does the same apply to dominants?
submitter Submissive is used, by convention, as an adjective. D/s people have used it universally as an adnoun for the submitter in D/s. But, even so, it is still misleading, as it is identical in sound to the general term, submissive, but in my opinion (IMO), it is very different in meaning. Therefore, I choose to use submitter in D/s until and even after the varied characteristics of D/s submitters can be established.
submissive submitter A natural strong relater with significant victimization traits who seeks the haven of submission by surrendering most or all authority to a complementary dominant. Her submissive practices are usually the surface contours of her devotion and respect for her dominant's ability to accept her self totally.
gifting submitter A natural strong relater with little or no victimization traits who seeks fulfillment by giving up most or all of authority over her life to a complementary dominant. Fully realizing the nature of her strong relatedness, and its liberation by her dominant, she can achieve a deeper D/s and deeper relations in all areas of her life.
strong submitter A submissive or gifting submitter who has strong or dominant personalities in other areas of her life, but not with her dominant.
slave submitter Used as hyperbole by natural strong relaters with some degree of victimization. Not a historical slavery, but consensual.
victim submitter Who finds slavery the state of ultimate degradation. Not a historical slavery, but consensual.
submission limits A surrender-or-gifting with the sub's own specific limits, versus surrender-or-gifting with the sub accepting the Dom's limits as their own.
dominant Usually a weak relater who strongly relates to others through social relations, is commonly in control of social constructs, and is strongly self confident based on experience. Paradoxically, he can achieve the intimate personal connection usually denied him by his dominance through the surrender of another as his complement.
controlling dominant A dominant to whom control of the submitter, and obedience by the submitter, are mutually important, if not paramount. Thus, any aspect of the sub's life may be used as the dominant sees fit. If obeisance does lead to harm, the controlling dominant defends himself with, 'Why would I damage my own possession ? '. Thus, seemingly exploitive, the controlling dominant also has a nurturing aspect.
nurturing dominant A dominant where nurturing and guiding of the submitter is important, if nor paramount. Thus, some nurturing dominants only attempt to control their sub's actions, including total openness, leaving the sub free in her mental life. When challenged with lack of controlling a sub's bad thoughts (contrary, that is, to the D/s, or others) the nurturing dominant defends himself with, 'My influence over my sub's mental life and values is best brought about by my nurturing, by giving her the initial responsibility for righteous thinking, and my love. These result in a tremendous impetus, because of her devotion and love, to think out her own way of complying with the rigors of her D/s'. Thus, seemingly generous, the nurturing dominant has a controlling aspect.
domineering dominant A want-to-be dominant or a dominant, either of whom seek a one-way D/s relationship where he rules but has little or no responsibilities for the submitter.
from this website:
http://www.godfatherdom.com/default.php
