RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 1:33:14 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620
Switches are as foriegn to me as Dominants are, and i don't even begin to understand them.

We're *all* just people. You can understand "a switch" or "a dominant" as easily or with as much difficulty as "a submissive".

(in reply to litleone8620)

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 1:59:44 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620
I have 'interviewed' Dominants who expected their submissives to be submissive to everyone, even people they would meet on the street, or their vanilla friends. What exactly is the point of this?

See, there's a vast difference between a d-type wanting *their* s-type to be submissive to everyone - and a d-type expecting s-types as a "group" to be submissive to everyone.

The first one is ok - as long as the d-type gets together with an s-type who agrees. The second - well, no.

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:02:31 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

from this website:
http://www.godfatherdom.com/default.php

I've been on lists with that guy. Way too much psychobabble and pop generalizations for my taste.

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:04:04 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Ok, but what about those submissives who are in a 24/7 relationship, but doesn' t work? Aren't they always in that submissive mindset?

Probably not. And if they are, they're probably either emotionally handicapped or getting there, fast.

Life involves many mindsets - no one is every healthily in just one.

(in reply to litleone8620)

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Post #: 104

RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:07:23 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

No worries here. Obviously, i didn't take into consideration outside stimulus. But even while your wife is being dominant in ever other aspect of her life, is she still thinking like a submissive?

No one is "dominant" in *every* aspect - though I can see someone being *assertive* in almost every aspect. I think people who like to see themselves as one or the other often confuse "dominant" with "acting assertively" and "submissive" with "acting passively".

But I digress from my intended reply, which is:

I am always submissive to Sir. *Always*, no matter what I'm doing or with whom.

However, that rarely requires a "submissive mindset". All it requires, most of the time, is an appropriate set of actions and reactions.

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:10:54 PM

HisTicia

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I don't really think it does. I mean.. in a good portion of my life.. I am a total control freak..and probably can be a bit intimidating. I am outgoing..and like to be the center of attention. In some ways.. I am very submissive with ppl.. it's strange..I think that I have a pretty good mixture of both dominance and submission throughout.

The difference is I choose to be submissive to my Sir...and He is the only one. The rest of the world.. I can have bow at my feet.

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:12:49 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrrPete
As mentioned by others there is a sitiational persona in the vanilla world.
We all have to do a bit of roleplay.

While there are certainly things the outside world doesn't get to see, it's not "roleplay" for the healthy people I know. What they see of me is still *me* - just not *all* of me.

I don't think *anyone* shows their entire self in most situations - it's still not "roleplay".

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:16:29 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

I've heard a lot of comments saying a person is only submissive to their dominant.

so my question is this:
Submissives: would you submit to anyone other than your dominant if he asked it of you?

I'd certainly *obey* another, and even act submissively toward them, if Sir asked me to.

However, I'd only *submit* to another if the chemistry was right.

quote:

Dominants: would you ask your submissive to submit to anyone other than yourself?

I would ask an s-type who was responsible to me to obey another, and even act submissively toward them - but I could no more ask them to "submit"/*be* submissive to them than I could ask them to fall in love with them.

To me, d/s is about chemistry between two people. I am only dominant or submissive to someone if the chemistry works that way.

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:19:34 PM

sensiia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

does personality affect whether a person is dominant or submissive? Meaning if a person is naturally outgoing with they automatically think they are dominant, and vice versa?

I would hope not, I am very outgoing, can strike up a conversation with anyone anywhere. Though it is funny how shy I can become online.
I am very outgoing and at times demanding it is my personality and though it may not seem submissive in nature to some, there are plenty who enjoy who I am without making judgement calls on who I should be, other then a friendly nice outgoing person :)

When I bartended many thought I was a Dominatrix lmao it is interesting to find there are many men out there that have a submissive side. Shame as it does nothing for me.

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RE: personality vs. being dominant/submissive - 6/17/2006 2:24:25 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtygirly
we understand our own personalities much better than vanillas i think, have a far deeper insight into who we are and what we want to be.

I don't think so. "We" are not more/bigger/better *anything* than "them".

quote:

i believe while personality is the same, our behaviour in vanilla is very different to our behaviour when in a private place with our dom / master / mistress. everything from how we dress, how we speak, how we view ourselves is totally different. our different behaviour becomes our different personalities almost.

i think to be a sub / dom, we must be comfortable with the two personalities / behaviours, can comfortably move from one into the other, to know when to and how to, and still be sure of and happy with who and what we are, and that, i believe, is when a sub truly emraces BDSM as a lifestyle choice.

Even "they" have different personality facets for different situations. How you act alone with your lover, whether d/s or "vanilla", is not the same as you might act in a 4-star restaurant, or while visiting family. It's called*life*, it has nothing to do with being d/s or not.

(in reply to naughtygirly)

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