Trying my hand

Trying my hand (Full Version)

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KaleidoKenlyn -> Trying my hand (10/1/2012 11:04:24 PM)
I've known the man I am with is a switch since I got with him. But I'm purely a submissive. So, we really haven't talked about his switchy side much. Now he's said he'd like me to top on occasion. I've tried a couple of times in the past with previous guys- with varying results (varying from outright disaster to collapsing in fits of giggles). I want him to be happy, so I said I'd try at some point in the near future. (I think there might be something wrong with that alone.. Me trying to top to please him, not me.) But I'm really going to need help if I'm going to do it, and pull it off. When I've tried, I've just been so lost. My brain says "Okay, he's tied up. That went well at least. But now what? Umm.. Umm.. .. .. Um......" Can someone please give me some pointers. I'm not at all into body worship. I also don't like him going down on me. The thought of hitting him turns my stomach. And to be perfectly frank, the thought of a submissive man does absolutely nothing for me. But he really seems to want this and I really want to make him happy. Helpppp.

saundrakitty -> RE: Trying my hand (10/1/2012 11:12:54 PM)
i would have discussed this with him at the beginning so that he knew that you had no idea how to dominate him in turn, or that you might not be able to. can recommend a book called A NERVOUS DOMME's Workbook- it might help.

Alecta -> RE: Trying my hand (10/1/2012 11:19:51 PM)
what about trying non-sexual D/s play? Foot worship, chastity, obedience/discipline? Cross-dressing? What is he into??

KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: Trying my hand (10/1/2012 11:44:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: saundrakitty i would have discussed this with him at the beginning so that he knew that you had no idea how to dominate him in turn, or that you might not be able to. can recommend a book called A NERVOUS DOMME's Workbook- it might help. We did discuss it. I even told him about my other attempts. It wasn't a problem. And it's still not what I would call a "problem." He's just asked me if I would try again. quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta what about trying non-sexual D/s play? Foot worship, chastity, obedience/discipline? Cross-dressing? What is he into?? He's mentioned wax, nails, biting, and teasing. He told me to just think about what I'm into- which includes spanking (and hitting with various implements), punching, breath play, and bondage in general. And he's told me that his only limits are blood and needles. Out of the things you mentioned, I'm not sure if he's into them, but I most certainly am not. I would feel awkward and completely turned off trying any of that with him. Edited to Add: The only part of any of that I feel remotely comfortable with is teasing. That I can do, haha. The rest of it though.. It's all rather intimidating.

theRose4U -> RE: Trying my hand (10/21/2012 1:08:32 PM)
If teasing is your thing then go for it! Bind him up, blindfold then cat feather toys, furs, guess the food, guess the toy by texture. Lil slap & spank for wrong answers (or right ones). This is an opportunity to get toys you always wanted, try things you were interested in but like waxing didn't want to see exactly how painful it is on yourself. Respect is the key!! Your pleasure & amusement is the idea but in the morning you may find yourself subjected to the same treatment...so tread lightly! Besides no one says you can't laugh during a scene, sometimes its fun!!

MaamSpamCrapoo -> RE: Trying my hand (10/21/2012 5:13:42 PM)
Both of you could fill out a comprehensive bdsm checklist and trade notes. It's always a good way to get to know each other better and open further discussion. I have one in excel format that can be typed on and emailed. Also an easy way to order the absolutely loves on down to the hard limits. CM me on the other side if you're interested in a copy.

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