RE: Is it possible to be too submissive?

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CougarRick -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 11:41:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Age brings perspective, if nothing else! Or at least, it should. [;)] I am a very introspective person, and as an insomniac, have lots of time to think. I have been trying really hard to remember what it was like for me, a solitary woman, to venture into the scene. When we had to write to each other from magazine ads, and talk on the phone. When having an EMAIL ADDRESS was a novelty. Before you were born and stuff. Was I nervous? Not nearly as much as I should have been. But fearlessness has always been a hallmark of mine, or at least running full tilt into the face of fear. That's my personality, and to a degree my upbringing. Mostly I have just DONE stuff. Offered opinions, asked for or not. Gotten the job done. Somehow, I have this reputation of being trustworthy and things like that. Slander campaigns run right off me. (And you know you've arrived when you're important enough for a slander campaign [:D]) Honestly, TOTAL STRANGERS trust me. o.O None of that means that I have all the answers, or any answers. I'm old, I'm smart, and I've done a lot of things getting here. You don't have to believe me, or agree with me, I'm just trying to make the path a little easier. Hope this helps. [;)] It helps. THank you. [;)]

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 11:54:51 AM)
Rick If you don't mind some friendly advice: chill out! You seem very anxious and nervous about your future relationship. Don't fret yourself so much. Very few people jump right in with all the rules and everything in place from day one - there's a lot of adjusting to each other and figuring things out. Of course you'll make mistakes. So will the domme! Really. Even if she is much older and more experienced. Because she's never had the experience of dominating you. Some people are stricter than others but if someone is seriously interested in you, they're not going to be put off because on day two you accidentally put an extra sugar in their coffee.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 11:59:09 AM)
ATHENA!! The coffee is SACRED!!! [:D] (seriously, I am joking, but bringing LP a regular Pepsi or me a sweet iced tea? JUST DON'T DO IT!! Or if you do.. apologize and bring the right thing, pronto!) Everything else Athena said, though!! That part about "she's never had the experience of dominating YOU", especially. ATHENA IS SUPER SMART!

LadyPact -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:04:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Neckbone I'm not really talking about sexual practices because they're usually clearly defined on profiles (hard limits etc) but can a willingness to please a Domme in every other aspect of a relationship be a turn off, even if she believes it to be genuine? It depends. Your asking a broad question when the answer really should be tailored to a specific person. How much authority does she want to have over you? How does she see concepts such as anticipatory service? Is it really willingness or is it that she is going to have to instruct every little thing? Does it border on desperation? I can promise you that clip absolutely wants to please Me and his being "willing" to do things doesn't even enter the picture. Can he and does he get underfoot sometimes? Yep. He's still establishing his life here, so his life is very much wrapped up in My life. He still needs to cultivate his own interests some. I don't doubt his desire to please Me for even a second. That doesn't mean it can't also be annoying. (I'm not going to use the term "turn off" because it makes it sound too much like you think it's a sexual thing.) Many Dominant women have their own line between 'accepting service with grace' and independence. You might be "willing" to do a task the she really enjoys doing and WANTS to do. You can bet your ass THAT is annoying. By the way, Crazyml tired to show you how "overly helpful" people can be annoying. I think you were hasty in your response to him. Before you are actually speaking about a specific Dominant woman, who has her own view on things, posts like this aren't going to help you. And when that time comes, she's the person you ought to be asking, too.

LadyPact -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:06:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus ATHENA!! The coffee is SACRED!!! [:D] (seriously, I am joking, but bringing LP a regular Pepsi or me a sweet iced tea? JUST DON'T DO IT!! Or if you do.. apologize and bring the right thing, pronto!) Everything else Athena said, though!! That part about "she's never had the experience of dominating YOU", especially. ATHENA IS SUPER SMART! What is this regular pepsi you speak of?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:09:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact <snippage> Many Dominant women have their own line between 'accepting service with grace' and independence. You might be "willing" to do a task the she really enjoys doing and WANTS to do. You can bet your ass THAT is annoying. <snippage> Criminy. Remember that sissy maid guy who got into it with me because I said I wanted my unnerpance in the WASHER, not done by hand? Eeh. Not only are there things I want to do myself, I have actual wishes for what I want others to do. Telling me what I SHOULD want? Is annoying.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:09:34 PM)
funnily enough, pepsi is key to service in our household. Only here, it MUST be pepsi max. It is in stock always. My most important duty is procuring vast quantities of it on a weekly basis.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:10:56 PM)
REGULAR Pepsi (or coke) is the stuff that I drink. NEVER BRING ME DIET POP EVER. There's just something about having the right beverages...

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:13:30 PM)
There you go OP - it may or may not be possible to be too submissive, depending on exactly what you mean by that. We do, however, all agree that providing the correct drink is key to a happy relationship.

LadyPact -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:14:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Criminy. Remember that sissy maid guy who got into it with me because I said I wanted my unnerpance in the WASHER, not done by hand? Eeh. Not only are there things I want to do myself, I have actual wishes for what I want others to do. Telling me what I SHOULD want? Is annoying. Have you seen any of My recent posts related to the dishwasher? quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders funnily enough, pepsi is key to service in our household. Only here, it MUST be pepsi max. It is in stock always. My most important duty is procuring vast quantities of it on a weekly basis. Very close to the same thing here, but I notice the word "diet" was missing from the brand. It's ok. Nobody's perfect. [8D]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:19:56 PM)
I'm not sure that I have seen the dishwasher posts. Does clip think that he knows best how to load the thing? My dad had one of those moments, too. After decades of dishwasher use and ownership. [8\|]

CougarRick -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:26:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Rick If you don't mind some friendly advice: chill out! You seem very anxious and nervous about your future relationship. Don't fret yourself so much. Very few people jump right in with all the rules and everything in place from day one - there's a lot of adjusting to each other and figuring things out. Of course you'll make mistakes. So will the domme! Really. Even if she is much older and more experienced. Because she's never had the experience of dominating you. Some people are stricter than others but if someone is seriously interested in you, they're not going to be put off because on day two you accidentally put an extra sugar in their coffee. I appreciate that. I do worry that because of my lack of experience I may come across as immature, but your point is well taken; I don't want to be so nervous that I overcompensate either. Taking a deep breath and starting to chiiiillllll [;)]

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:29:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders funnily enough, pepsi is key to service in our household. Only here, it MUST be pepsi max. It is in stock always. My most important duty is procuring vast quantities of it on a weekly basis. Very close to the same thing here, but I notice the word "diet" was missing from the brand. It's ok. Nobody's perfect. [8D] Pepsi Max is diet. But with extra caffeine, I think. Rick - sooner or later you're just gonna have to take that risk. She thinks you're immature - well then she wasn't the one. Just keep being the best person you can be and then the people you attract will be decent too.

CougarRick -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:29:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus ATHENA!! The coffee is SACRED!!! [:D] Note to self.....Coffee is sacred quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Everything else Athena said, though!! That part about "she's never had the experience of dominating YOU", especially. ATHENA IS SUPER SMART! I never looked at it that way, but it makes sense. And yeah, she seems super smart, so I will heed her advice.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:39:09 PM)
You should listen to Athena. She has much goodness to share, AND she is a young person, not an old harridan like me. Trufax.

CougarRick -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:42:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus You should listen to Athena. She has much goodness to share, AND she is a young person, not an old harridan like me. Trufax. Will do. I listen to anyone who is willing to advise, but I will definitely pay close attention to her advice based on your testimony and her response. I do also find however that you "old harridans" can offer a wealth of experience to so I hope you don't mind if from time to time I ask you a few questions also.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:43:55 PM)
I think you know that I like to talk [;)]

CougarRick -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:45:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Rick - sooner or later you're just gonna have to take that risk. She thinks you're immature - well then she wasn't the one. Just keep being the best person you can be and then the people you attract will be decent too. Actually sort of seeing someone right now. She is older, but we seem to have hit it off pretty well. To the best of my knowledge she is not BDSM oriented, but hey, I am not letting that get in the way.

CougarRick -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:47:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I think you know that I like to talk [;)] And I like to listen. I have a million questions for those of you who have more experience.

LadyPact -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/2/2012 12:48:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Pepsi Max is diet. But with extra caffeine, I think. Quite correct. I used to keep both in the house. Diet pepsi in general, but Max when I needed extra ooommpphhh. quote: Rick - sooner or later you're just gonna have to take that risk. She thinks you're immature - well then she wasn't the one. Just keep being the best person you can be and then the people you attract will be decent too. Correct again. Rick, that nervousness is slaughtering you. It's understandable that you might lack confidence because you are inexperienced. You can't let such things rule you. What you present is what people see. Wouldn't you rather folks were seeing you being a good person or even that sense of humor that I just saw on another thread? Save the fear for when the sadist is enjoying getting that response from you. Fear is yummy under the right circumstances. As a constant, not so much.

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